Chris Kaman is back in the starting lineup and should be back in your lineu,p too . He should have been in all lineups last night, but I can’t eat anyone’s lunch for keeping him out one game to see what he’d do. What he done did was he led all scorers in his return to the starting lineup for the first time in eight games. Against the Jazz, he went 27/13/2, he had 2 stl and 1 blk. Three turnovers. Meh. You’ll live with it. This news is great for Kaman owners and bad for pretty much all Emeka Okafor owners except the ones who also own Kaman. If everyone’s healthy, Kaman’s upside is higher than Okafor’s, but he’ll only reach that ceiling as long as Okafor is out. As long as he’s out, start Kaman and enjoy Gustavo Ayon‘s minor bump. Not a big bump. Not lots. Littles. More fantasy basketball news down below.
Greivis Vasquez – Double-double. 12/4/10, with a trio of steals. It took him 38 minutes to get there, but he got there. You hoped he’d get there. That’s why you’re vulturing him.
Eric Gordon – Stories started pumping out of the Internet machine so fast last night about Eric Gordon’s health that they woke me up from a deep slumber involving Miranda Kerr and, like, five submarine sandwiches! Apparently, Err Gordon might miss anywhere from one month to two. I was in such a depressed state afterwards, when I went back to sleep, all that was left of my dream was half a hoagie and a pink fur-lined hoodie.
Martell Webster – The most underwhelming member of an underwhelming team returned to the spotlight last night and ended with 5/4 and 2 tov. But enough about Darko. /rimshot No, but seriously, Darko would kill for that line. Webster took over at the two for Ridnour and did just about what you’d expect the most awfulest T-Wolf to do. Do yourself a favor, leave him be.
Darko Milicic – Returned, earned three fouls in four minutes from the bench. I don’t mean that literally. He was on the floor when he committed those fouls. Look, he’ll improve from this, but he’s unownable if he’s not starting. Starting was about the only thing he had going for him. Like when a fat, balding accountant drives around in a Mercedes. Now put that same guy in a Kia and you’ll understand what is happening to Darko.
Jason Richardson – Dude’s caught fire this month, averaging 18/4/2 along with an astonishing 4 3ptm in his last seven. Well, the threes are on fire. The rest is more or less what we expected him to do before we realized his career is more or less busted and rusted.
Corey Maggette – Dropped 22 points and 3 steals in 32 minutes. This was the first game in which Maggette-O’s didn’t come with a shizz-ton of meatballs in, like, I dunno, three years or whatever. If you’ve got an open spot or you’re into streaming, I added him in one league. These Bobcats are awful. None of them are going to produce on any regular basis.
Tyrus Thomas – Played nine minutes, missed three shots, fouled three times. I have three general rules: 1) I want my president to be smarter than I am, 2) I don’t want my wife to know more about any sport than I do, and 3) I don’t want to own any fantasy basketball player that has a game I could literally have had had I taken his place. I told you not to pick this guy up, I told you to drop him after you picked him up and now I’m telling you to hang on as tightly as possible because you’ve made it clear you have no intention of listening to me.
Stephen Jackson – Played 17 minutes and ended with 7/3 and a steal. The Bucks are like the Bobcats in that both teams have, like, 10 guys that can lead the team on any given night. That makes owning any members of this team damn near unbearable. You just know there’s some poor bastard out there who owns three players from each team and you know that guy friggin’ hates his team.
Elton Brand – He’s averaged 8/8/1, with 1.4 blk in the five games leading up to last night. Then last night he went 8/6/1, with a block and a steal. He fouled four guys and only played 18 minutes, so from a per-minute perspective, it was a tight little game! That’s good, right? Good is objective, yes? How do I know that what appears blue to me appears blue to you?
Kenyon Martin – Averaging 5/5 and a block in the first three games of his season leading up to this one. Last night? 10/3 and four blocks. Tomorrow? The world.
Randy Foye – “With Chauncey Billups out, this will be the time for Foye to really up his game.” – General consensus among sportsy types (including yours truly). Foye’s answer on Monday? 3/5/3, 0-for-7 from the field. I say boo, sir.
Rodrigue Beaubois – What are we more sad about? That RoboBobo is earning DNP-CDs or that we all kinda wish Lamar Odom was the one earning them?