Some fun drama in the NBA this weekend! And not the kind about the Poppycockers being a super trainwreck… More fun shade being thrown than that!
While beating the Grizzlies 112-109 Friday night, the Blazers official Twitter account decided to stir up some ish by clowning Chandler Parsons on this airball:
“To be fair, the NBA 3-point line is really, really far away from the basket.” You tell em, Portland! Then Parsons tweeted back “good luck in the lottery show year”. Well, while kinda a burn, you just missed a trey by about 7 feet, and you’ve been a bigger trainwreck than the Knicks this year… And C.J. McCollum didn’t let it slide either:
We hit the lottery by not signing you https://t.co/eSiBaNT061
— CJ McCollum (@CJMcCollum) January 28, 2017
Fantasy owners feel the same way! All my non-Parsons teams are doing WAY better than where I wasted a damned pick on this schmohawk in the middle rounds! Ugh, this has been one of my worst calls in my Razzball tenure, as Parsons’ knees have made him a shell of his former, dynamic self when he was finishing up 15-16 with Dallas. It’s always a gamble to draft a guy off a major surgery – one could almost say it’s like trying to win the lottery! And as of yet, I haven’t won millions of dollars in the Mega Millions, so I shouldn’t have gone for it here! I still think there could be a nice finish post-ASB once he has that full off-week to ice up those knees, but after 8/2/2 and that labradoodle shot Friday, followed by a DNP-rest Saturday, I feel like I need to be flogged in the Razzball city square. At least he’s played 21+ minutes the past two games…? Is that all I can really find positive in this?! He’s involved in fun social media drama, can we make that a stat cat?! D’Angelo Russell, first rounder! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action:
Darren Collison – Continues his strong run of late to solidify minutes, as the saintly duo of he and Ty Lawson both look fairly usable. 26/4/5/3/0 Friday at the Pacers then 17/0/2/01 at the Hornets Saturday for Colly – neither line is huge, but he shot 17-28 with 5 treys those two games. FG% is a little underrated in his game. His minutes have been bonkers the last 3 (35+) and Lawson got 23 then 32 minutes over the weekend as well. Lot of combo sets, with Colly turning into a SG., which works out just fine as long as he gets the run!
Jonas Jerebko – After “flailing-arm gate”, got two starts over the weekend, but not a ton of run. 7/8/4/1/1 Friday then 0/2/3/1/1 Saturday. It was Kelly Olynyk who stepped up for some big man minutes Saturday with Al Horford out (Big Al with a hurt Big Groin) for 17/7/3/1/0 and a trey in 36 minutes.
Thon Maker – Made his second career start Saturday night, amidst a lot of really friggin’ dumb turbulence due to the backwards world we now live in… 4/2/0/1/1 in 10 minutes starting at center, as Jason Kidd has finally given up on ever making the Bucks starting C position viable…
Derrick Rose – As Seal would say, “The kiss from the kankle!” See, this is why my R&B career was short-lived… Picked up a kankle Friday night and missed yesterday, and is expected to miss additional time. Enter Brandon Jennings! 18/3/11/1/0 with 4 treys, just a littttttttttttle boosted by some extra time. 4 overtimes between the Poppycockers and the Hawks! One guess as to which team lost… But yeah, it was a 53-minute long BJ! Lets hope there’s no chafing…
Carmelo Anthony – Also got a nice OT-fueled boost, going 45/6/4/0/1 despite the Poppycockers going up in flames.
Courtney Lee – Been on an interesting little run over the past 5 games, going 17/9/2/2/1 in the marathon yesterday afternoon, in 52 minutes. It’s pretty low-end 3-n-d, but he’s making his shots and not turning it over for some hot ThrAGNOF play, if you need some-a-dat this week.
Paul Millsap – That’s how the Sapper bounces back, baby! 4/4/1/1/1 in a dreadful game Friday night, but all he needed was a nice dose of Poppycock! 37/19/7/1/1 with 3 treys in an unbelievable 60 minutes. Tonight, on 60 Minutes! A look into how 10 straight years of hot yoga boiled Phil Jackson’s brain…
Tristan Thompson – For the love of D stats! Wait, did I just start a Tristan Thompson blurb with that sentence?! 19/12/1/4/4 against the Thunder on national TV yesterday afternoon… I dunno what’s weirder, the 8 stocks or his 5-5 FT! He’s shooting 47.4% at the FT line this year, what in the world?!?!
Dirk Nowitzki – Gets a shoutout for 4 blocks, securing a fun 9-0 win for me in a league last night. Way to bring da Swats! His vertical is like, 5 inches right now though, how did the Spurs let this happen?! Or let the Mavs win this game for that matter?!?!
Seth Curry – After a dud against OKC for 11/1/4 with 4 TO on Thursday, bounced back against SA for 24/10/5/1/0 and 4 treys. Sheesh, the Spurs let Dirk get 4 blocks and Seth get 10 boards?! Feels like a points-shaving game to me!
Terrence Jones – Even with Brow back on Friday, had a great showing against the Spurs (geez, Spurs got nutted on by some scrub teams this weekend!) for 21/7/1, but then in true Tjones fashion, completely disappeared yesterday. 10 minutes, 0 points, 0-6 from the field. Buzz’s girlfriend, woof!
Jimmy Butler/Dwyane Wade – Got benched Friday night, as Hoiberg continues to lose this team… “I’ve lost my marbles!” Butler was horrific, shooting 1-13 off the bench as his head was never in it. Thankfully a game against the Sixers last night righted the ship – 28/8/7/4/0. Wade was fine in both, but man, this Bulls thing became a pretty bad, failed experiment. Cubs are about to start back up, Bulls fans!
Ersan Ilyasova – Even thought they won, the Bulls couldn’t shut down a 6-foot Turkey! 31/11/1/1/0 last night, with only 2 treys though…
Robert Covington – Lord Covington brought a regal line as well! 21/12/3/3/3 with 4 treys in a 1.5 rainbow. They need to make a biopic show for him, just like The Crown. I would say Joseph Fiennes should star as him, but Fiennes is already in enough trouble with his acting roles these days…
Joel EMBIIIIIIIID – Pulled out his full EMBIIIIIIID on Nene on this one!
Almost tackled him at the end too, for good measure! Monster game for EMBIIIIIIID, going 32/7/4/3/2 with 4 treys in a rainbow. 11-20 FG, 6-6 FT, just needs to get less than 5 TO and this would be one of the season’s best.
Clint Capela/Montrezl Harrell – Capela was OK over the weekend for 17/6/0/2/1 then 10/4/1/1/1, and we got a Harrell sighting Sunday! EMBIIIIIIID hurt Nene’s pride so bad, the Rockets sat him Sunday… 10/7/1/0/1 for ‘Trezl, but nothing we can trust here unless Nene gets a few weeks off to rest his grey dreads…
James Harden – After the epic 50-point, tripdub 51/13/13/2/1 against the Sixers, had nothing left yesterday as the Rox got slaughtered by the Pacers. Beard needs a rest week during the ASB!
Stephen Curry – Also might need some rest time over the break, especially after all the work he did against the Clippers!
43/9/6 with 9 treys (including that one) on 15-23 shooting. This is why I had you #1! Then of course he sits yesterday on the b2b due to “stomach flu”. I guess after you beat the Clippers 144-98, you feel like you can sit some guys…
James Johnson – Even during a shooting slump, was delivering multi-cat goodness, and once he found his stroke again Saturday, it yielded a mad purdy 18/8/5/2/1 line on 7-13 shooting with no TO. The Heat have somehow won 7 straight – I think the key to the team is Hassan Whiteside has to underperform. It makes the Heat better!
Karl-Anthony Towns – Everyone loves playing against a Mess! Tore apart Brooklyn for 37/13/1/1/4 and 2 treys. Another highly-ranked guy from me who is FINALLY playing his way into delivering the rank. You reading this, Parsons?! Get your friggin’ act together, stop getting into Twitter feuds, and start playing basketball again!
Nikola Jokic – Out with a hip flexor strain. That’s some really bad jock itch! Jusuf Nurkic got a start and was horrific. Jamba Jus with kale added to it, gross! 15 minutes with 5 points, 4 rebounds, 3 turnovers and 3 fouls. Yeesh. Kenneth Faried took the Manimal by the horns though, going 21/13/2/2/2. Rainbow line! The previous 5 games though, 1 steal, 0 blocks. Playing some great “standing around” defense! Both Nurk/Manimal are heavy in the trade rumor mill, but if you need some early week Pts/Rebs, you could do worse than streaming Faried if he’s out there while Joke is out (will miss at least tomorrow, if not another 1-2 more).
Eric Bledsoe – Mini-Bron destroying the Nuggets! Well, except the fact the Suns lost both of em… After 28/4/5 on Thursday night, a career-high 41/6/8/2/0 with 3 treys and 14-15 FT on Saturday. E Bled em dry!
I hope everyone had a better weekend than Chandler Parsons, that’s for sure! Thanks for dropping by, and be sure to drop in the comments. Heading towards the stretch run!