Howdy Cool Cats, great news! Due to a combination of all my hard work and Martha from accounting going on maternity leave, I’ve been awarded an actual office, and given the primetime spot of Wednesday, up from that smelly old Friday! Ok, the office is virtual, but the slot is real. By that I’m referring to Wednesday, not Martha. The virtual office comes with more responsibility (I have to drive into the Razzball building and make sure the recycling is sorted, and restock the coffee creamers in the kitchen), but it’s nice to finally get some recognition! I asked for a parking space and a vacation package, and they told me, fine, you are now on permanent vacation. How cool is that?? I gather that means I can work when I want, we artists can be a finicky bunch, it’s prudent of them to recognize that. Well, never fear, good reader, I won’t let my success go to my head, I still have plenty of nuggets to share with the little people. I strive to be humble, and keep doing what got me to the big show. Speaking of getting to the show, here are a few guys on the way up to that corner office, and a few who are heading to the mail room:

Buy:

Goran Dragic PG, SG

He started from the bottom now he ‘ere… Dragic has been lost a little in the back court, and since he’s had a few games of production, some queasy owners will look to move him. I would offer a low ball offer, as I think he will get into a more of a rhythm, and his production will continue to improve. What do I base this on? Artist’s intuition, and the following: if they don’t make the Dragon happy, he could walk at the end of the year, and they’re clearly trying to, they signed his brother, Zoran Dragic, in an effort to make nice, a la J.R. SmithI know and you know Isaiah Thomas hurts his value, so don’t offer a top 50 talent in return, but someone like Tony Wroten, (who is clearly a better option at the moment, but whose value will drop when Michael Carter-Williams returns)? You just came out a winner in my books, fella!

K.J. McDaniels SG, SF

If you listen to the Razzball podcast, you will know that Slim has been crushing on this kid for a while. I resisted writing about him earlier, as he was hovering around 17 minutes the first 3 games, but has since been bumped to 27 minutes in his last 4 games. He’s probably just a pick-up for you, as he’s only 21% owned. He will give you modest point production, but his percentages are very good (a 47% 3pt %??) and maaad out-of-position blocks, as he gets 2 blocks and a steal per in those last 4. Certainly better than having Javale McGee in your line up, in my opinion.

Terrence Ross SG, SF

Ross started the season slow, but has been pouring it on lately, as the 3rd/4th option on the sizzling 6-1 Raptors. In his last 2 games, he’s gone 17.5/5/1/1/1 with 4 3pts per, and shooting over 50%. I know, it’s only 2 games, but the Raps are committed to having him start, they fed him minutes through the rough patch, and he is still being given about 27-30 minutes of production. He has a bad enough start for you to argue for a buy low price (season average: 10.7/3.1/1/.7/.7. with 2 3pts per) Again, it’s my gut talking here, but I think his production will be much closer to the last two games as opposed to the season avg.

Pau Gasol PF, C

Was Pau in danger of being considered the other Gasol? That would be a shame, because he has always been number 1 in my books! This isn’t exactly a buy low, as he’s ranked top 30, getting 18.4/11.1/2/.4/2.4 , and spoon fed a monstrous 35 minutes per so far for a big in his golden years! The reason I would tell you to go get Pau-Gizzle (Gizzle?) is that Taj Gibson is out, you could argue that his numbers will go down when Gibson returns. The thing is, I don’t believe that to be true. Coach Thibbodeau is notorious for riding guys into the dirt, and Pau will be the latest recipient of his drill sargeant-esque tough love. If Coach could make Carlos Boozer look halfway decent, and coax an MVP performance out of Joakim Noah last season, imagine what he can do with Pau? Could you coax Pau away with a Russell Westbrook and a piece?

 

 

SELL: 

Jamal Crawford PG, SG

He cooled off a bit vs the Spurs, but a lot of players do. He has been inserted (ha! inserted…) into the starting line-up, and it will help his production. He is what the cool kids call ThrAGNOF, but he has averaged 18.25/1.5/2.5/1.25/o with 2.25 3pts in his last 4, and that’s with a 10 point whimper against the Spurs. Can you get an Isaiah Thomas caliber player for that? Someone will bite, no?

John Henson PF, C

One of the good readers of my articles called Henson a muppet (Jim Henson…Muppet, get it?), and that nickname is so appropriate it’s verging on prophetic! I know none of you still have him in your line up, you’re smarter than that, this is more me ranting on the career killer that is Coach Kidd. How can you give 22 minutes a game to Ersan Ilyasova and leave Henson rotting on the bench? He is a delicate 6’11” flower! Bah! Cut the strings off this muppet if you still have him stashed in hopes Henson will find a rainbow connection. That’s just for lovers, and dreamers, and youuuuuu…

Trey Burke PG

Man, it is a good thing the crowds in Utah have Gordon Hayward and Derrick Favors to enjoy, as Trey is not getting it done. He has some value, as he is dishing at a 2 to 1 assist to turnover rate, and he gets at least a steal a game, but I think I’d rather have an Aaron Brooks, or Evan Fournier (until Victor Oladipo returns)If you can get anything for Burke, I would do it, or even consider cutting him loose.

Brook Lopez PF, 

He’s a must start, right? I think otherwise. Not because he isn’t producing, but rather, his feet are made of those little crystal hummingbirds your Nana collects. I don’t trust them to hold up, and once he goes down, that will be it, he will only be worth a bunch of those little crystal hummingbirds your Nana collects. If you can get anything approaching top 50 value, I would do it.

C Andrew Bogut C, Dwane Wade SG, SF 

I put these two together, as opposed to lumping Brook in as well, as I couldn’t waste the crystal gag, but the principle applies here as well. Get out and sell high, son! Yes, both are producing, but both are major injury risks, and I don’t want any part of it, and you’re a riverboat gambler if you insist on relying on these dudes. In which case I suggest you go out and purchase one of those tiny 2 shot deringer pistols, you’ll need it.

 

I hope that I’ve covered the essentials. May all your shots be nothing but net, Holla!

 

  1. TheMuppetManiac says:
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    I was offered Giannis Antetokounmpo for KJ McDaniels. I’m a little worried about Antetokounmpo’s minutes though or I would’ve just pulled the trigger. Should I accept the trade?

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @TheMuppetManiac: Take that trade. Giannis on the upswing, you’re buying low. I hope. It’s a cluster-f in Milwaukee.

  2. Old hippy says:
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    Who do you like better for H2H going forward; MKG or K.J.? Thanks

    • Sameer says:
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      @Old hippy: KJ easy.

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @Old hippy: Hmm. I think KJ, much better at blocks, steals, basically everything except points. Kidd-Gil should shake the rust off a bit, but even then, I still think McDaniels.

  3. AbiCity says:
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    16-Team, 8-man roster, 3-Cat (Points/Rebounds/Assists) league

    I need to replace F or C with a Guard and KJ’s G/F eligibility is enticing. Y’all think KJ will offer any Reb/Assist value with increased MPG or is he just a Points + %/hustle stats type guy? His college Reb% & ARate numbers were relatively pedestrian, so I’m bearish.

    Other Gs available: P-Bev, Fournier, Chalmers, Dunleavy (G/F), Wilson Chandler (G/F), Trey Burke, & Ben McLemore

    Would you drop F/C Boris Diaw , F/C Ed Davis or F Draymond Green for any of those?

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @kb24: I’d do it for McDaniels over McLemore. Lamb is going to give you more points, and possibly more boards, but those are the easiest stats to get. Just my opinion, but I would take KJ

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @AbiCity: Frankly, KJ will have modest point production, but everything else is good. But Fournier is maad sexy right now, I might take him for points, 3s, FG%, FT%, and KJ for blocks, steals. Consider dropping Ed Davis and Diaw, because you can put KJ at forward. Or take one, or none, what the hell do I know? Good luck.

  4. kb24 says:
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    Would it be smart to drop Lamb for Mclemore or KJ McDaniels?

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @kb24: I’d do it for McDaniels over McLemore. Lamb is going to give you more points, and possibly more boards, but those are the easiest stats to get. Just my opinion, but I would take KJ

  5. Tyler says:
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    Hey man i had just been offered his batum/d.lee/lamb for my jrue/rolo/draymond.. I was thinking to counter with jrue/bevwrley/draymond for his batum/calderon since im punting points. Just worried that my stls would take a big hit.. What are your thoughts? He also has korver who fits my punt build but im not sure who i can offer..

    G-cp3 rubio holiday beverley
    F-kawhi hayward tjones draymond
    C-horford brolo rolo j.hill sully

    George hill also availabe in the wire.

    All the best,
    Tyler

    • Dan A

      Dan A. says:
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      @Tyler: hey Ty, Bev and t jones for Batum straight?

      • Tyler says:
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        @Dan A.:
        He doesnt want tjones because he already has too many injured guys.
        What do you think of this offer:
        Jrue + beverley + sully/draymond for batum + calderon?
        Im contemplating if i should keep sullinger or draymond for my team since im punting points.
        On one hand draymond is producing better now but when Lee returns he might be reduced to mid twenties in mpg. Sullinger has all the minutes but doesnt get stocks or even 3s.
        First question is do you think i should make a deal? Second is should i give up sullinger or draymond?

        Thanks man!

        • Dan A

          Dan A. says:
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          @Tyler: ok. I would do draymond over Sullinger

        • Bye Felicia says:
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          @Tyler: why would you make trades to continue punting cats, when you should be making trades to even out (balancing) a squad? That’s just silly imho…

          • Tyler says:
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            @Bye Felicia: hi felicia, its just that my team is really really low in points so might as well continue being great or focusing on the other 8cats. It also helps that its h2h and 9cat. Batum seems like a great punt pts target too but jrue and draymond are beasting so i think i should retract this offer.

          • Dan A

            Dan A says:
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            @Bye Felicia: I see what you’re saying, in this case, as points are the easiest to recoup, but sometimes it does work to punt categories. Say you have Russ Westbrook, and Ricky Rubio. You get a lot of great production, but need to punt turnovers, for example. Or you have Derozan, Kobe, and Curry, You may need to punt FG%. If you have a real shot at winning your other 8 cats, you wouldn’t trade Curry for an inferior player, coming week in week out 8-1, or 7-2, is great.

  6. Chris says:
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    Hey Dan A I need some help plzzzz

    I got offered a trade.

    I get Wade-Isaiah Thomas and Ed Davis

    I give Cousins-Eric Gordon

    Here’s my team I could use some guard help:

    9 cat roto-start 4 g-4-f-1-c 1f/c

    G-Lillard-Ellis-Jennings-Gordon-Iguaodala
    f-Vucevic-Monroe-Joe Johnson-asik- Hawes-Rudy gay
    C-Cousins-Chandler

    Thanks!

    • Dan A

      Dan A. says:
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      @Chris: don’t do it, wade too risky

  7. The Tristan Thompson Conundrum says:
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    Hey dude, should I give Kobe , Gay ,and Jabari for Durant and Batum?

  8. jrh says:
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    Loving the Muppet references! You are hip, man! Oh and KJ can jump really high. That helps in basketball

    • Dan A

      Dan A. says:
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      @jrh: ha! Tell that to zach Randolph. So, what we’ve learned: have a giant butt, or jump really high. Amazing analysis, found right here.

  9. Steven says:
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    Head to head points league:
    I might be able to get Rubio for Andrew wiggins and nikola pecovich.

    If I pull it off I could pick up Kelly olynyk off waivers to replace pekovich.

    I do have Michael carter Williams, deron williams, and Derrick rose, but seems like Rubio would be good insurance policy.

    Should I go for it?

    • Dan A

      Dan A. says:
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      @Steven: if you’re strictly a “points” league, as in scoring only, not a good deal. If you mean no percentages (points/dimes/boards/blocks/steals) it’s a good deal. For now. I have faith that wiggins will improve greatly, but that may not be until next year.

  10. Marc says:
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    Hey I was wondering ur opinion on if I should trade jrue holiday for russ. Jrue’s played well recently and im not sure if I should risk it

    • Bye Felicia says:
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      @Marc: I’d stick with a healthy mid level PG producing. If you can afford the hit without losing assists for over a month then go for it.

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @Marc: Hey dood. Felicia is right, particularly because they don’t know exactly when Russ is back, compounding your risk. He isn’t due to even be reevaluated for another 2 + weeks, so it could be 4-6 weeks you have him on your bench. Which blows.

  11. Frank White says:
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    Wusup Dan.. I know you think I’m impatient but listen in my h2h 9 cat league I’m only 7-19-1 and with Westbrook out a few more weeks I can sink where it’ll be hard to come back.. I got offered lillard and draymond green fir Westbrook and Ellis.. Would you pull the trigger?? I’m lacking boards and assists

    • Frank White says:
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      and I know Green isn’t better then Ellis but Lillard’s killing it and Green hits all CAT’s including boards. Besides Westbrook n Ellis I got
      Dragic
      Collison
      Wroten
      Kevin Martin
      Courtney Lee
      West
      Copeland
      Ibaka
      Monroe
      Favors
      Millsap
      Harison Barnes ( Streamer spot)
      Ibaka is killing me with lack of boards

    • Dan A

      Dan A says:
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      @Frank White: Hey dude. The problem is that we don’t know how limited Green will be when Lee gets back, so you may be trading one headache for another. Counter with Westborok and Copeland, maybe.

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