I’m just going to say it: I missed you. Er, not you, gentle reader, although I guess you’re cool, too. I meant NBA basketball. Sexy, sexy fantasy basketball. I tried to see others, like the FIBA tournaments, it was just because I have needs, but they meant nothing to me, I swear NBA! But you’re back home where you belong, and just as alluring as ever. And make no mistake, good reader, this is the honeymoon stage of fantasy basketball. Just about every fantasy GM can see the beauty of our squads, like Shrek seeing Fiona after the curse was lifted, and envision a glorious future together. We are at the fantasy equivalent of not farting in front of each other, all lingerie and high heels, and us all pretending granny panties don’t exist. Speaking of panties, if you happen to follow the REL Dynasty, My team is Hardenouttherr4apimp. I’m number three in the league, but number 1 in your hearts. And I’m aware that the panty segue made no sense whatsoever, but it is in itself a clear indication of what to expect from me.
This is a tough trading environment, to be clear. Most GM’s ain’t ready to blow it up just yet. Just because we cool, supple reader, because we have some history, I’ll recommend a few potentials. A caveat: while these pearls clearly have value, it has been my experience that not too many GM’s want to play nice in week 1. So don’t be a schmuck and come on too strong and overplay your hand, drowning yourself in Axe spray and desperation. That never works, trust me. So with that mixed message, put on your best break up music, and take a gander at these honeymoon heart-throbs:
BUY:
Giannis Antetokoumpo SF, PF
As good as he has been (23/9/2/1.5/.5 shooting .633) in the first 2 games he’s played, if one considers he missed the first game, he can be even greater or at least keep this fantastic pace up, in my humble opinion. Make no mistake, you will pay with top talent, but if you’re lucky, the Greek freak’s owner will think that he is selling high, as there are several injuries in Deer country. One may think he’s benefiting from increased touches. I don’t, for the record. I would consider moving an Eric Bledsoe to acquire him. Just sayin…
D’Angelo Russell PG
How does it feeeeeel? Whoops, wrong D’Angelo. Unlike the R+B singer, Russell has started his NBA campaign with a decidedly flaccid inducing output. 5 dimes in 3 games? Bah! But take heart, good reader, and take advantage. I would trade for the performance anxiety ridden Point, as he’s too good to be this bad. Capitalize on some cold feet, if you can.
Kristaps Porzingis PF
This kid is gonna be great, I think. And early returns have been very good, 11.8/8.3/.5/1.75/1, with .5 treys per game, especially with the 1.75 steals and a block per game. The constant scuttlebutt is that he’s too slight to put muscle on and dominate defensively, and will be injury prone as a result. This may be true, but Rashard Lewis was also narrow, and made a hell of an impact in the league… Porzingis got knocked around last game, and is a game time decision, so you may be able to capitalize on the early injury.
Jae Crowder SF,PF
Jae ain’t gonna be a savior, you can’t expect mad output, but Irish eyes are smiling on my man Jae. He will be a poor man’s Batum (although last year, Batum was a poor man’s Batum!), getting treys, steals, blocks, boards, dimes, a dusting of points, the whole package. And by whole package, I include turnovers, unfortunately. But he’s currently 57% owned, you may be able to get him off your waiver for nothing. Don’t sell the farm, but I would consider tossing a name like an injured Wilson Chandler, or a J.R. Smith type.
SELL:
Kent Bazemore SG, SF
Kent has had two stellar games in a row, and I’m happy for him, going 19.5/6.5/1/1.5/.5 shooting .500 with 3 treys per game. I don’t think he can keep it up, though. The production, I mean, not his… never mind. What I mean to say is that this is a classic sell high opportunity. Dennis Schroder is nipping at his heels, and his first two games of the season he was dreck, as my Hebrew friends would say, so I worry about his consistency. Could you get a shot a D’Angelo Russell? Worth finding out, no?
Dwyane Wade PG, SG
Every year I see this dude’s fantastic output to start the season, and every year I recommend you sell high. I respect the tits out of D. Wade, but I worry about his durability. He has put up a monster stat line so far, going 21.7/3/5.3/1.3/.75 with a trey in each game. But he gets injured often, historically has not shot the 3 well, he frequently deals with injury, and he gets injured a lot. If he stays healthy, he will be a beast. I just don’t want to ride the roller coaster, and you should get some healthy returns for the aging superstar.
Matthew Dellavedova PG
Delly’s production has been great thus far, and his assist to turnover ratio of 6.5 is insane. But we all know that Kyrie Irving is due back at some point, and while this will principally affect Mo Williams, Delly will not be dishing to the starters in the same way, and his minutes will go down. Sell medium, as this is as high as Dellvadova will get, IMO.
Greg Monroe PF, C
Greg has been a beast out there, essentially a 20/10 guy (20.3/9.5/3.3/1.5/1.3). These numbers are amongst the best in the league for a big. Which is why you consider moving him to acquire first round talent, like a Kawhi Leonard type player. Consider this: Jabari Parker and O.J. Mayo are both not taking touches from Monroe right now. John Henson will be back at some point as well, which should only marginally effect Monroe, but it all adds up to a detriment to the big fella. If you hold on to him, he will be great for you, but if you were ever thinking of selling the big hoss, you will never sell higher than this.
That’s all for now hoops fans, I think that the less I say, the better, as predicting an entire season off of one week is an easy way to make an ass of myself. I’ve been trying to make it harder to look like an ass these days, as a general rule. May all your shots be nothing but net!
