Brandon Jennings is terrible.

I pretty much wanted to kill the open right there, but “journalistic integrity” or whatever…  In a horrific shooting display, BJ flat out sucked for 5-18 shooting and it was equally as painful to watch as Josh Smith at shootaround.  A few fadeaway treys, bricked layups… You name it.  I honestly think a big part of the Pistons game plan right now is have BJ shoot like a hot dog, and rely on the O-boards from Andre Drummond and Greg Monroe.  Drummo’s OREB gave me an O-face last night, that’s for sure!  Racked up 7 OREB and Monroe had 5, and I’m guessing almost all of those came on BJ’s bricks.  If terrible shots leading to OREB and putbacks counted as assists, Jennings would be John Stockton.  Of course, sometimes there’s some Flubber on the ball and it goes in, but this is an immense sell-high window.  Probably a Sportscenter Top-10 layup, and has been playing fairly well lately.  Even D.J. Augustin at 8-18 FG 19/0/5 couldn’t get Stan Van to flip-flop PG down the stretch.  We’re used to seeing flip-flops!  Stan Van coaching like Laguna Beach.  Jennings is a big name on the trading block as well, and the Pistons aren’t hesitant to give players away, as in cutting J Smoove.  One rumor I read was Houston…  They would be the worst shooting team in NBA history!  Success for Houston would obviously be bringing in two guys from a former 5-23 team… Then again, the Pistons just won on the road in San Antonio for their 6th straight, and they are – you won’t believe this – now 3.5 games out of a playoff spot in the East.  Hah!  Trade or no trade, labradoodle-city Jennings could probably fetch an interesting ransom in the fantasy market as this current run is unsustainable.  Here’s what else went down in last night’s two games:

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope Another empty-ish statline, but ya know, I thought he looked good.  “Dammit, JB is back to his KCP-addiction talk!”  10/0/1/1/1 hitting 4-9 FG and 2-2 FT.  Didn’t have a FG in the first half, so it was good seeing him bang some big shots late.

Jodie Meeks – Other than that 34-point outburst 4 games ago, has been pretty yawnistipating.  13/3/3/0/0 last night, and no steals the past two games.  Guess how many times he’s played 30+ minutes this year?  Without looking!  It’s the same number of times I complimented Brandon Jennings’ game in the open.  Given he played 29:58 last night, but still!  Guess who led the Pistons in minutes?  KCP!  Loving that Meeks is getting some run at SF – bodes well for a little improvement, even though I’m still not a huge Meeks guy.

Anthony Tolliver – 22:30 for ‘Olliver last night, and after his first stint on the court he told Stan Van “please sir, I want s’more!”  By far a high since joining Detroit on Dec 30th, and was unsurprisingly very boring for 3/5/0/1/0 missing all 4 shots from deep.  The one shot he did make was an and-one though!  Blah.  Sorry deep league Kyle Singler owners!  If any are left…

Jeff Ayres – The Ayres rock!  Had a season-high in scoring in the first half, ending up with a 16/4/0/0/1 line in 17 fluke-ass minutes.  6-7 FT, and the 6 made were a game high!  Lay off the physical play, DET second unit!

Tony Parker – Le poopoo!  “My hammy feels like chicken cordon bleu!”  Played only 13 minutes and looked slower than a French Fry.  Cory Joseph is my hero!  He’s the Freedom Fry!  Wait, he’s from Canada…  3-4 FG 7/4/4/0/1 in 27 minutes, with only 1 TO on a really weird/bad jumpstop-no-it-wasn’t traveling call.  Spurs got a ton of horrific calls this game, then to lose on a Jennings basket… Yikes.  I think Sean Elliott pulled an Office Space on his monitor…  Anyay, Cojo agogo had two nasty driving wrap around shoulda-been-dimes to Tiago Splitter with one a very unlucky rimjob that missed and the other a hard foul keeping Splitter from making it.  If TP retires or moves on and we hear Cojo will be the head honcho, I’d be hitting that sleeper pick harder than the Deliverance Kid hits the banjo!

Patty Mills – Boris Diaw missed a couple freebies too, but Mills missed a critical one.  2-10 FG and 1-2 FT.  He was a rusty trombone out there!  Nah, we’ll go with… a rusty didgeridoo out there!

Danny Green Had been a tad quiet – 2-18 from deep the previous 3 games – but very solid near-rainbow of 13/6/3/2/1 with 3-5 3PTM and no TO last night.  Shoulda taken more than 10 shots!  How I feel every time I go out to the club…  That might have been the least convincing sentence I’ve ever typed.

Brandon Knight – Wooooo!  Big game for my boy.  26/2/4/3/1 hitting 10-20 FG (2-8 3PTM 4-4 FT).  All with only 1 TO!  Play him all 48, Kidd!

John Henson – Finally getting some minutes!  It only took an Ersan Ilyasova concussion and Larry Sanders working through something that nobody knows.  I’m guessing he’s stuck on a tough Sudoku.  Mr. Muppet for 13/6/3/0/1 on 6-9 shooting in 24 minutes.  Hurray for a good stream call!  Wish there were a few more blocks, but whatev!  Still further down the emerging young-C totem pole for me, I think I would Hassan Whiteside over him, but back on the radar.

Zaza Pachulia – Zaza arms with butter fingers!  Had 6 TO in the first half last night.  Zaza is used to being called a “but his arms”, but not a butter fingers!

Eric Bledsoe Not to be outdone, had 7 TO.  At least had a dimebag to go with it!  10/6/10/2/0 shooting 3-10 FG and 4-6 FT.  Kinda looks a little MCW-ish, no?  The TO had actually been going down lately, so just a little fluky.  8+ dimes in 4 straight…  Great volume on 83.8% FT shooting, blocks are back into the mix…  I’m fuming and all red because I don’t own E-Bled!

Alex Len 5 swats!  His blocks are more sporadic than Nicolas Cage’s critically acclaimed movies.  Last night was an Adaptation!  9/8/0/0/5 hitting 4-7 FG.  The last 6 games his blocks are 5, 0, 6 (a Leaving Las Vegas!), 1, 0 (The Wicker Man!), 2.  Henson or Len is a good one… I’ll lean Len since his 20ish minutes look assured, but he’s certainly no Jusuf Nurkic!

Markieff Morris No worries here!  Maybe me bringing it up on yesterday’s Pod was a motivator…  26/10/2/1/0 hitting 10-17 FG (2-4 3PTM 4-5 FT).

Isaiah Thomas – The little one is hot!  Kinda like when there’s a women’s basketball team at the club… The only reason I’d go for the center is if I wanted some NBA babies!  19/4/1/0/0 hitting 5-8 FG (2-2 3PTM 7-8 FT).  After a long while where only 2 of the 3 Suns PG would play well, it’s looking like a world of solid co-existing!

Patrick Christopher – Slim and I have talked about how Memphis were douches in making Nick Calathes stay by picking up his contract and not letting him make 500% more overseas (and play without a bogus suspension!).  But this is the ultimate dick move in the NBA this year.  Days after dislocating his kneecap (uuuuuggghhhh), the Jazz waived him.  As in “adios, Mr. Limpy!”  Yikes.


Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks:

Quincy Acy – Somebody has to do soemthing for the Knicks, right?  RIGHT?!  Carmelo Anthony is still in “almost-shutdown” mode, so Acy should see some decent minutes yet again after going 19/14 with two treys last time out.  Plus he should get to the FT line about a bajillion times after getting suspended a game for throwing a half-punch at John Wall last time The Poppycockers played the Wiz.  Hard foul after hard foul!

Zaza Pachulia – Going back to Mr. butterfingers!  Picking guys against the Sixers is always a good place to start for streamers, and I think he bounces back from last night’s poor showing.  Had back-to-back dubdubs with 14 boards in each before yesterday and should nab a ton of Tony Wroten bricks.


I hope everyone is having a good “return to real life” week back from the Holidays, and we’ll see ya tomorrow!