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Superman was born on the planet Krypton, a fictional planet far removed from our consciousness. Ben Simmons was born in Australia, also a place far removed from our consciousness. Superman landed in America. Ben Simmons played high school ball in Florida and college ball in Louisiana. Superman can fly, has superhuman strength and speed, and possesses x-ray vision. Ben Simmons can dunk, is 6′ 10″ tall and can go coast-to-coast in less than 5 dribbles, and delivers passes as if he has eyes in the back of his head. Superman does have a weakness though: kryptonite. Ben Simmons also has a weakness: outside shot. The evidence is compelling, counselor. Ben Simmons is indeed Superman. Don’t believe me?

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 15 8 4 2 3 0 7/14 5/11

Who does that? Seriously, if/when he learns how to shoot, Simmons may break the game of fantasy basketball.

Here’s what else I saw last night, in the glorious return of the game that we all love and adore:

Joel Embiid

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 10 2 1 2 5 1/4 9/21 4/5

Double-dub. Ho hum. That should be a nightly thing. The 5 turnovers and poor shooting, though. The Celtics are a really good defensive team and made life difficult for Embiid, especially down low. Felt like he was forcing some shots, but I’m not worried. He played 37 minutes and all signs point to the Embiid being unleashed this season.

Dario Saric

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 6 1 0 0 3 0/4 3/8 0

Mario with the D had a disappointing outing, as he got into early foul trouble. It’s a shame too because he dominated the last two time these teams met in the playoffs. For those in panic mode:

R-E-L-A-X. It’s one game.

Robert Covington

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 6 0 2 1 2 2/7 3/10 0

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. It’s truly amazing the number of horrific shots he takes, but he gets minutes due to his defense and, when he does get hot….the Lord giveth. Unfortunately, the Lord taketh away last night.

Markelle Fultz

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 3 2 1 0 3 0 2/7 1/2

MF’er! Started the game but only played 24 minutes. The J looked better, but he seemed a little hesitant out there. I don’t think the 76ers can play him alongside Simmons. His best role is probably main man on the second unit. Fultz was a late-round pick, so the opportunity cost wasn’t high, but it’s not a good sign that the team functioned much better with him on the bench.

JJ Redick

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 2 1 0 0 0 2/8 7/17 0

Played 30 minutes, even though Fultz got the start. JJ do what JJ gonna do, which is drain Js from downtown.

TJ McConnell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 1 3 0 0 0 0/1 2/5 0

Played 22 minutes. TJ was mostly on the court when the team went with a three-guard lineup, alongside Simmons and Redick mostly. Won’t be fantasy relevant outside the deepest of leagues or unless injury strikes, but he does have really nice hair.

Landry Shamet

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
1 1 0 0 0 0 0/2 0/4 1/2

After impressing during the preseason, the rookie got 13 minutes of run in his first professional game. He wasn’t shy and didn’t look overwhelmed, so he’s someone to keep an eye on as the season progresses.

Al Horford

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 4 2 0 5 3 0/1 4/7 1/1

In 11 NBA seasons, Horford has never missed the playoffs. Thanks, Son. How does that help my fantasy team? Hey look over there. 5 blocks. While Horford hasn’t been a usage hog in Boston (sub 20%), the depth that the Celtics have and the emergence of Jayson Tatum could put a dent in the counting stats for Al.

Jayson Tatum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 9 3 1 0 1 1/5 9/17 4/5

Speaking of Tatum, can I claim him as my JaySON? 28.6 usage rate for Tatum last night, which led the team. See, he did learn alot working out with Kobe in the offseason. It certainly looks like this Tatum is on a different career trajectory than his brother from another mother, Channing.

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 4 7 0 0 3 1/8 2/14 2/2

Just kidding. I love that movie. Anyways, it’s one game. Kyrie will be fine. He had a 24.7 usage rate and jacked up 14 shots. The 7 dimes are $$$. The one concern is the minutes, as there’s a possibility that he gets around 29 mpg, instead of a number in the low-30s.

Gordon Hayward

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 5 0 4 0 0 1/3 4/12 1/2

Speaking of hair. It was really cool seeing Hayward out there after last season’s injury. He played 25 minutes and looked good, but you know what they say. It’s the nice looking ones you have to look out for, as he was a criminal and got his 211 on four times.

Marcus Morris

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 10 0 2 0 1 2/7 7/12 0

Marcus understands the “out of sight, out of mind” concept, as he will put up a game like this once or twice a month so that we don’t forget about him. Don’t fall for the banana in the tail pipe, especially since he only played 21 minutes.

Aron Baynes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 4 3 0 0 1 2/4 3/7 0

Only played 19 minutes, but made significant contributions. Provided physicality down low and grabbed 3 offensive boards, dished out some nifty dimes, and even drained shots from downtown.

Terry Rozier

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 8 1 0 1 1 1/2 5/10 0

Played 27 minutes. Scary Terry indeed…for the other team. He was skying for rebounds and doing his thing on offense. If he gets around 27 minutes per night, Rozier is someone that will outperform his ADP.

Marcus Smart

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 3 3 0 0 2 2/4 2/4 1/2

Everytime Smart shoots….No no no noy yes yes yes!! Played 25 minutes. Smart will never garner a high usage on O, but will knock down some shots and contribute across the board, although he didn’t accumulate any D stats last night.

Paul George

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 2 5 4 0 5 4/12 9/23 5/8

Playing like Boy George in the first half, PG13 came out of the locker room and balled the F out after halftime. With no Russell Westbrook, George had a 32 usage rate. Man, pre-injury, PG would break down defenders off the dribble and make them look silly. Now, it’s more YMCA game, so the efficiency isn’t great, but the volume is there and when he gets hot, he’s unguardable.

Patrick Patterson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 5 0 1 1 1 1/4 2/9 2/3

Started at power forward, but only played 19 minutes. Pat Pat can stretch the floor and knock down threeecolas. He also chipped in some periphery stats but he kind of sucks tbh.

Jerami Grant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 2 2 0 3 0 1/4 2/7 2/4

Played 29 minutes, so it looks like he’s the guy to own if you’re speculating on the position. Grant can also stretch the floor with his J and is just more athletic than Pat Pat. With that said, I was expecting more but not having Russ on the floor changes everything. I’ll reserve final judgement until then.

Dennis Schroder

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 9 6 2 1 3 2/6 7/19 5/6

Played 34 minutes and looked good. I was fronting on him coming into the season, but I sold him short for sure. Now, not having Russ makes a huge difference, but he did drain a couple spot up Js, which gives me some optimism for successfully playing alongside Russ. The cynic would think that the Thunder acquired Schroder because of concerns over Russ. Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, how will the usage be divied up when Russ does return, as all three are ball dominant? The trio could be a force on defense, though, and that just made my pants pop up into a tent.

Steven Adams

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 11 4 2 0 2 0 6/12 5/8

Listed as questionable with lower back pain before the start of the game. Ha! The dude boxes kangaroos in his hometown. You think a little back pain is going to cause him not to play? Puuleeeaaasee. When I find the time machine, I’m definitely taking Adams with me when I want to walk among the dinosaurs.

Terrance Ferguson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
0 4 1 0 0 1 0/2 0/2 0

Got the start at shooting guard and played 27 minutes. The Thunder should just call this position FLEX. Ferguson is uber-athletic, plays D, and hustles. He can be disregarded for fantasy, as he garned a 4.2 usage rate.

Alex Abrines

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 2 0 0 0 0 2/6 3/8 0

The Thunder 3 & D with the D player.

Nerlens Noel

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
3 7 1 1 1 0 0 1/2 1/2

Only played 12 minutes, but looked pretty good. Grabbed boards and hustled on D. Also has the ability to switch out on the perimeter to play D. Adams is entrenched at center and, as mentioned above, is a freaking rock, so playing time will be limited. I am curious to see how he plays with Russ though.

Draymond Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
2 13 5 3 0 6 0/1 1/6 0

Is Draymond a Hall of Famer? A part of me thinks, no brainer. Another part thinks he may suffer the same fate as Robert Horry. Anyways, it’s amazing how much of an impact Green makes on the game without scoring, for both fantasy and real life. I can’t recall another player that’s been able to do that. Every day is Dray Day.

Kevin Durant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 8 6 1 1 3 0/5 9/21 9/10

Yawn.

Steph Curry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 8 9 1 0 3 5/9 11/20 5/5

Yawn. Yawn.

Damian Jones

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 3 2 0 3 2 0 6/7 0

Got the start at center and played 27 minutes. Moves well and looked good at both ends of the court. Sayonara Jordan Bell.

Jordan Bell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
0 2 0 0 1 0 0 0 0

Played 7 minutes. Arigato gozaimasu.

Klay Thompson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 0 0 0 2 1/8 5/20 3/3

He’s dropping 35 next game. Book it.

Kevin Looney

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 10 2 1 2 1 0 5/11 0

Played 18 minutes and was an animal at both ends of the floor. Remember that Jordan Bell guy? Yeah, me neither.

Andre Iguodala

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
2 2 2 0 0 0 0/1 1/2 0

Only played 10 minutes due to calf tightness. See you in April.