Things were looking oh so good for the Colonel’s original recipe heading into the season. I bought the whole bucket, the two sides and a giant big gulp of tea. But Larry Sanders could very well be one of fantasy’s biggest disappointments in 2013-14, for reasons on and off the court.
Sanders signed a 4-year deal in the offseason worth a cool $44 million bucks (worth, about, a million buckets of chicken!), and the Bucks regime had big plans for their center. GM John Hammond, while trying to keep his Jurassic Park island under control, said Sanders was the key to the team. Hammond, you lost your keys! Bucks are locked out… Then the season started with Sanders nearly fouling out in 12 minutes, and in three games hasn’t played more than 22 minutes, hit 2 FGs, or grabbed more than 4 boards. I was on the buy low bandwagon faster than a short sell in Trading Places. But after complaining about playing time, Sanders reportedly got into a bar fight Saturday night and effed up his thumb. Stop giving him roids, Braun, we don’t need more roid rage in Milwaukee! I wonder if he was getting hazed by Ersan Ilyasova like Richie Incognito. “You must play better, now!” yells Ersan in a thick Turkish accident. Hey, Ilyasova was a scratch last night too, Gus Ayonin’! Anyway, Sanders is accused of breaking champagne bottles over peoples’ heads, and to top if off he then missed Monday’s game because his wife went into labor. Sorry Larry Sanders Jr… I’m just sorry… Hopefully this version of The Larry Sanders Show ends anti-climatically with Sanders getting back on the court and giving fantasy owners something. If you’ve got him, you have to be holding and hoping Sanders can settle down and have this blow over, before he’s looking back at his life and he’s Robert Swift. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:
Tyson Chandler – Rough news he has a broken bone in his leg and will miss 4-6 weeks. He’s a G though. Walked off the court under his own power. Eff that noise, I would’ve needed to be medevac-ed. Like I said yesterday, I don’t boost up Amar’e Stoudemire or Andrea Bargnani much because they’re both terrible. But do remember that during this window opposing bigs are going to have their way against the Knicks. So start em if ya got em.
Stephen Curry – Warriors fans and fantasy owners had to collectively hold their breaths when Curry had his leg rolled up on by Ricky Rubio and he had to leave. He came out for a little while, but was able to return with what was first being called a “bone bruise in his foot” then got changed afterwards to an ankle sprain. He is expected to play Friday and it sounds like he avoided serious injury after it didn’t look too good.
Harrison Barnes – Welcome back to the court! And man, did he not miss a beat going to his offensive game immediately. Scored his first points on a jumper 9 seconds into his season, and racked up 8 points in his first 4 minutes. Ended with a 14/2/1/2/1 line shooting 6-8 (2-2 FT). Still only played 14 minutes though, to Andre Iguodala’s 42. Think those start off-setting, another reason I’m not as huge on Iguodala.
Andre Iguodala – I guess we should go straight here then! 8-13 20/3/6 with 3 Stls. Great stuff. He’s a multi-cat guy with rainbow lines in 3 of 5. It’s awesome. But let’s get real, he’s not playing almost 37 minutes a game, especially down the stretch if the Warriors keep playing like they are and save him for the postseason. I’ll admit I’m a looking a little wrong, but it’s early and as said above, Barnes will cut into the minutes.
Klay Thompson – He went off in the second half. Couldn’t miss. Can’t feel my face! 11-21 (6-9 3PTM) 30/3/1/1/2. If he’s hot he’ll still shoot, but got extra work with Curry banged up.
Andrew Bogut – Pulled a “gotta be McGee!” and fouled out in just over 16 minutes. Still went 2/5/4/0/2. Think he’s still useful for a multi-cat big.
David Lee – Puts up the quietest big dub-dubs like last night’s 22/15 and I didn’t even think twice about it. Why I had him ranked pretty high.
Corey Brewer – If not for a very late rebound would’ve gone 18/0/0/0/0 in 34 minutes! That’s hard to do! But got one rebound – rejoice! 7-14, hit a 3 and 3-3 from the line. He’s a great fit for that team, runs the floor well, good defender, good slasher to receive Rubio passes, and 4-5 of his shots were layups that rimmed out. Sure he should’ve made most of them, but they were in traffic and it was an unlucky night and still shot 50%. Remains my boyfriend. Some of those 6 steals from the other night can overflow into this line.
Kevin Love – 25/16/6. He’s friggin’ awesome. He’s friggin’ brittle. Here’s to hoping he stays healthy.
Derrick Williams – Such a Dr. Jekyl Mr. Hyde player. 0-6 and looked awful even though I know he’s solid. Brewer’s still gonna get those 30+ minutes.
Ricky Rubio – Man, I bought the tinkering to fix his shot in the offseason, and it just hasn’t worked. 2-8 and can’t hit anything. A bit of a buy low, I think it comes together.
Kevin Martin – Playing like the Kings days! This one I feel very wrong about. So much lamenting early in the article today! 23/3/2 and 2 steals. The fact he’s not as multi-cat as the elite guys doesn’t matter when you’re scoring over 20 again. I thought he’d be more in the 16-17 range.
Derrick Rose – Still trying to channel his inner Seal song. 6-15 17/1/4 and nothing else. Bulls ran into a buzzsaw against a very determined Pacers team.
Paul George – Closer to what I expect. 6-19 (sure he will shoot a lot better more often than not) 21/6/3. Sure he’ll get steals and a block here and there too. Great player, not always an elite fantasy no-brainer top ten-er.
Lance Stephenson – Paul and Lance combined for 11-36, and the Pacers still won by 17. Sheesh. Despite killing your FG% 15/5/4 with 3 threes. Buying a career year.
Roy Hibbert – This is getting ridiculous. Another 5 blocks. Averaging 5.2 a game. I might still call him the Soviet Bloc just because it’s so anachronistic it makes me chuckle.
Chris Paul – Mission accomplished! It took all game, but barely topped double-digits in assists for the fifth straight game! Oh wait, his team still lost to Orlando… Ouch.
DeAndre Jordan – Monster game. 9/19 4 blocks. Played a redonkulous 44 minutes. Doc and DeAndre, sitting in a tree…
Blake Griffin – I said in my ranks I thought some of the “hardcore fantasy player” hate might have gone a little too far. Sure in a league with your little brother and surprisingly manly looking aunt he went in the 2nd round, but he actually is looking like a steal if he fell past the 5th. 23/13/2/2/1 last night. Gus Ayonin’!
Nikola Vucevic – What a beast. 30/21/3/1/1. Looking at Yahoo ADPs – players taken in front of him: Larry Sanders. Ok, I’m done after that. Haha.
Victor Oladipo – Give the kid minutes! I feel like a broken record, but Oladipo gets 23 minutes and shoots 4-6 while Arron Afflalo shoots 5-16 in 36! I think all fantasy basketball players should unite and march Afflalo out of Orlando with pitchforks. Send him back to Denver – they need anyone right now. VO 11/2/2 with 2 steals and 2 threes, but is turning the ball over like Jake Delhomme with 4 more last night. Averaging 4.4 in 27 minutes a game. In a non-TO league, I’d try and get Oladipo before his minutes take off.
Andrew Nicholson – 4-16. How did the Magic win this game?! Still not a big fan.
John Wall – Something I said would change that I actually got right! Wall was finally getting some three balls to go last last year, and I had a feeling he was going to add that into his game. 5-8 from deep last night and has a 3 in each of the last three. 24/3/9/1/1 shot 50% on 8-16. Money.
Bradley Beal – Had his shot going early, but didn’t stay red hot. 17/5/8/3/1 is a monster line though with the trey treys.
Trevor Ariza – Buying it in the sense he’s starting and playing big minutes. 15/6/3 with 3 steals, shot 50%, hit three threes, 2-2 FT. He can do that kind of line pretty easy with the minutes.
Marcin Gortat – Started alongside Nene and went 8-12 19/12/2/1/1. I like the Ten Foot Pole to play well in Washington.
Evan Turner – I’m looking wrong on this one. Another good night going for 24/7/4. I don’t think he’s ever shot 9-13 or better in his career…
MCW – I’m lazy and going to abbreviate this morning. FG% is dropping like M. Night Shyamalan’s Hollywood clout. But like I said after game one, he’ll still produce in down games and slashed 19/5/7/2/1 and avoided a Delhomme game with only 2 TOs.
Spencer Hawes – Beasting it. 23/13/5/1/2. Hit two threes as well. Looking at Yahoo ADPs – players taken in front of him: Larry Sanders. Just so fun!
Gerald Henderson – Another thing went right! 10-17 23/3/4 with 2 steals. This is what he can do and why he was a sleeper.
MKG – Still feeling lazy. Multi-cat goodness and a big FG% boost for his averages. 14/4/2/1/1. Like it.
Kemba Walker – And one more thing right! Struggled mightily for 2-13 5/4/7/1/1. Actually, I recant. FG% is terrible but a decent multi-cat line and not a single TO. You’ll take it.
Jonas Valanciuas – LL still not doing enough to warrant my man crush, but I could do another ADP comparison with Larry Sanders! 12/10/1 with a block. Still think it’s going to improve.
DeMar DeRozan – As I said earlier in the week, I think he falls into the ancillary stats more than you’d expect. Of course, it came at the detriment of his shot this game. Brutal 5-16 14/3/3.
Jeff Green – Took this game over early, but a 18/3/4 line doesn’t really reflect it. Did hit three 3s and 3-3 at the FT line. The Celtics had a 27-8 2nd quarter thanks to Green. Crazy.
Vitor Faverani – Oh the waiver wire… Such delicious fruits and such horrible tasting hot pockets. Only played 6:04 going 0-4 and the Celtics were losing bad early. Who knows what will end up being the rotation…
Kelly Olynyk – I didn’t watch this game, but his line suggested he played not nearly as terrible as the other night that I did watch. 6-14 14/8/3. Still not a buyer in re-draft leagues. Actually any leagues, he doesn’t have a big fantasy future.
Brandon Bass – Another benefactor to Vitor getting the seat-or. 9-15 20/4/2. Only 4 boards!? Added two blocks. He’s been a nice surprise to me.
Gerald Wallace – Didn’t start and the Celtics won their first game. Coincidence? That’s jo-incidence with a C!
Alec Burks – A stinker. The Jazz are falling apart.
Gordon Hayward – At least he played well for his former Butler play-caller. 12-20 for 28/9/5. Pretty sure I had him above most other rankers. At least I hope. Edit post edit post!
Derrick Favors – After a clunker last night, told ya to buy low. Sure you had like, 10 hours to do so, but bounced back for 10/14 and 3 blocks. What you’d expect.
Anthony Bennett – 1-5 and his first NBA FG! Raises his FG% to 5%. Hahahahaha.
Andrew Bynum – Looking like upper-teen minutes will be it for a while. 4/4 and shouldn’t be owned in a lot of leagues.
Tristan Thompson – Another subpar game. Cleveland commenter – are you still around? He just not asserting himself into games?
John Henson – Got a start! Rejoice rejoice! You’re just 3 games too late, Milwaukee. Of course you just spent $44 million dollars on Larry Sanders, so yeah. 7-9 14/9/3 with no TOs and 3 Blks. Did go 0-2 from the line which cost him the last couple of minutes. This is what I was expecting early on.
Gary Neal – I think will still get run as the 2nd unit scorer once Brandon Knight is back. Knight was reportedly close but is still hamstrung. Neal was hot last night going 8-15 (4-5 3PTM) for 23. A good streamer ThrAGNOF!
Zaza Pachulia – Ok, just so much crazy. A. started. Do I need to go on? Ok, sure I guess I will. B. played 41 minutes. C. went 10-10 from the FT line! D. Had 7 assists. What a nutso game. If Larry Sanders is going to keep on breaking bottles over clubbers heads and Ersan’s ankle keeps acting up, he’s worth a stream spot for a while. I played him in one of my RCLs!
Ekpe Udoh – Returned from knee surgery earlier than I expected. 14 minutes of 4/5/1/2/1. I don’t think he’s on the radar that much for fantasy, but it muddies this Bucks front court even more.
O.J. Mayo – Per Bucks play-by-play commentators – “I want a BLT with that Mayo!” We started a big board of NBA play-by-play quotes at the office. Hilarious. 9-19 for 28 points and bringing ya the fantasy bacon.
Marc Gasol – Slow start continues. 11/1 (one!!?!?!?!?) / 4/1/1. You know what one rebound means… DOUG COLLINS SHOUT OUT!!!!! Oh I’ve been waiting for that one. Dude, Gasol you’re brutal. This whole Memphis team is not looking good. 2-3 and only wins were surviving the Celtics and Pistons.
Zach Randolph – Baby Z-Bo was getting born in the middle of the game! So he left. Is it just me, or is the NBA Day Care getting ridiculously full right now? What is going on, everyone trying to be like Shawn Kemp?
Anthony Davis – Another bad shooting night but ridiculous line. 18/9/2/3/3 with no turnovers in a gorgeous rainbow line. If for some reason an owner in your league is a FG% purist, I guess try to buy low.
Markieff Morris – I need to start adding daily recap polls. What was more nuts last night – Zaza 10-10 FT in 41 starting minutes or this redonk Markieff game going 11-13 23/12. I’d vote Zaza. Please vote below in comments!
Gerald Green – This week’s most popular streamer of the week award, 6-13 (3-8 3PTM) 15/2/1/0/1 with 5 TOs. Not horrific, not good. But proof of my ThraANOF postulate!
Miles Plumlee – Decent return to grace. 15/6/1/1/2.
Kawhi Leonard – What is going on?!?!?! 4-9 8/6/1/1/0 in a very slow start. Gotta think this comes together because…
Danny Green – …Danny G sighting! 8-11 (3-6 3PTM) 19/5/2/2/4. What a rainbow. I was with everyone and he was dropped in a lot of leagues. Worth a pickup again. But wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in and out of rosters all year.
Tiago Splitter – After starting the last Spurs game, played only 11 minutes off the bench but still went 9/7.
Serge Ibaka – There we go! 8-10 (1-1 3PTM) 17/13/1/1/3. This is what my dreams of sugarplums and Ibaka lines were like.
Russell Westbrook – Dude, if you got him, you’re bouncing off the walls right now. You’re like Jim Carrey in The Mask on speed. 10-20 22/1/4 with 2 steals and 5 TOs, 2-5 FT, not all great but just the fact he’s out there and looks right at former Westbrook abilities is fantastic.
Reggie Jackson – Uh-oh. 12 minutes and only 2 points, but did rack up 5 dimes. Jeremy Lamb got 20 minutes and Derek Fisher closed with the starters and got 16. Droppable in virtually all 12 teamers.
Jae Crowder – Another 15+ point game and 3+ 3PTM. Becoming a trend. ThrAGNOF!
Samuel Dalembert – The hell is he doing getting 10 shots? No blocks and 3 TOs. Worth keeping your eye on Brandan Wright as he is healing up.
Next Game: I’ve got TNT Overtime tonight! So if you’re by your computer tracking your teams this evening, check out LAC @ MIA and LAL @ HOU on TNT OT and the highlights that pop up on the timeline bar at the bottom is me! Excited for the action cam views, a huge matchup in South Beach, then the Rockets to absolutely slaughter the Lakers. Good luck with your line-ups tonight!
