To my dearest Martha,
After months of traversing the seas and facing the wrath of Poseiden, we have finally made it to the new world. It is a beautiful place and I hope to bring you back here with me when all is safe. The trees. The flowers. The fertile plains bordering the myriad of streams. It is so plush here. We did encounter the natives and, while they speak a strange dialect, we were able to bond over the wacky tabacky. Till next time.
Love,
Son
P.S. – I miss you.
I’ve always had an issue with the postscript. Why is it even a thing? If it was so important, put what was in the P.S. into the body of the message. Hmmm, well back in the day, they didn’t have White Out or Microsoft Word. Fine, I get it in that context. But now we do! Let’s be better humans and eradicate things that are unnecessary. Who’s with me? <crickets> Do you know what P. S. I’m aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight with? Pascal Siakam.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 24 | 11 | 8 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2/4 | 10/16 | 2/5 |
Played 43 minutes. Nick Nurse should be forced to change his name to Nick Kevorkian because he’s giving the Nurse name a bad rap. Siakam missed the first 10 games of the season but he’s a top 40 player on the season. Over the last 16 games, he’s top 20 as he’s been playing plenty of small-ball center. He’s messed around four times this season and….Dare I say?….He’s a threat to mess around on any given night? P. S. – He good.
Here’s what else I saw last night:
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| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 7/11 | 7/8 |
In only 24 minutes because the Wizards stink and the Heat beat them by 21 points. It feels like forever that I’ve written about my boo, Bam. I guess that’s what happens when one does not recap the games on a nightly basis. Father, forgive me for I have sinned. Y’all know my love for Bam. He scores, boards, dishes out dimes, gets his D on….Have you seen his agility on the perimeter? He can guard one through five. Is it hot in here? He shoots over 50% from the field and has improved at the free-throw line, shooting 77% this season and putting that 69% conversion rate from 2019 into the floor like a squashed cockroach. The only thing he doesn’t do is make it rain from downtown. That is the next evolution, then it’s on to world domination! Bam is a top 50 player on a per-game basis and has potential to be a top 25 player.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 4 | 8 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 4/6 | 6/9 | 0 |
In 28 minutes off the bench. Tyler Herro was out so Vincent was the main guy off the bench for Miami. He’s a 3-and-D player who has scored over 20 points four times this season, but those were all in starts. The efficiency isn’t great at 43% and the playing time is too inconsistent to be relied upon.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 14 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 1/4 | 5/10 | 3/4 |
Made his fourth consecutive start because Bradley Beal has been vacuum sealed and placed in the freezer. Holiday played 28 minutes and led the starters in scoring. Was everyone else on a holiday? Holiday has attempted 10 shots in each of the last two games and garnered a usage rate of 23.7% and 25.1%. He’s dished out some dimes and got his 211 on.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 6 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/6 | 9/15 | 1/1 |
When Corey is your leading scorer, you can Kispert away any hope of a W. He played 26 minutes off the bench and led the team in shot attempts by a wide margin. Like Corey Haim and Corey Feldman in the 80s, this Corey was a hit with the ladies and was shooting his shot.
Four Raptors starters scored at least 20 points.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 9 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2/7 | 8/18 | 2/4 |
Led the team in shot attempts. For the first three years of his career, Anunoby was a defense and limited offense player. The usage rate was in the 15% range. Then last season, the usage rate spiked to 20.1% and we began to see the two-way potential. Now we must begin to ask, How high can this OG go? I need my K-pop girls singing: go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG go OG.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 5 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 6/11 | 7/14 | 0 |
Top 10 player despite shooting 41% from the field. He’s also blocking 0.6 shots per game. That is why VV equals W.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 24 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 4/9 | 8/16 | 4/5 |
Trent is on quite the heater. Over the last seven games, he’s shooting 48% from the field and 50% from downtown. On the season, he’s at 43% and 39% so regression is coming. That top 40 number you see? It’s coming down. That said, he’s going to play a shit ton of minutes and will provide plenty of points, tres, and steals.
Gordon Hayward
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1/2 | 1/3 | 0 |
Only played six minutes because he suffered a sprained left ankle. It didn’t look good and he could miss a few games. Why do the injury gods keep picking on Hayward? Is it because he hasn’t turned over his soul yet after the transformation from ugly duckling to beautiful swan?
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0/8 | 7/17 | 3/4 |
Played 38 minutes and is the likely beneficiary if Hayward does miss an extended period of time. We had Jenny from the Block. Now it’s time for Kelly with the O. Keep in mind that the Kelly O experience could be orgasmic or spent with Yoko Ono. He’s shot less than 30% in 10 games.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 25 | 6 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2/7 | 8/17 | 7/7 |
Played 42 minutes. I would walk a million Miles and cross all the Bridges in the world to have him on my squad. He’s a top 30 player and literally does it all. He’s 0.1 blocks shy of being a 1/1/1 player. He’s shooting 48% from the field and 79% from the line. He’s averaging 36 minutes per game. Gimme gimme gimme.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 10 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/4 | 3/7 | 3/3 |
The usage rate is low (14%) so don’t expect a bevy of points. He does provide 1.8 tres, though. Crowder challenges the risk/reward decision making because while you will get a handful of boards to go along with tres and steals, he shoots 40% from the field and often is sub-40%.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 15 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2/7 | 6/12 | 1/1 |
Be more like Miles.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 19 | 3 | 11 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 1/2 | 7/11 | 4/4 |
Paul has dished out double-digit dimes in 31 games. What a friendly neighbor. He’s a top 15 player and he just continues to amaze. The Great Wall of China, Chichen Itza, Petra, Machu Picchu, Christ the Redeemer, Colosseum, Taj Mahal, and Chris Paul.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 38 | 4 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 5/10 | 14/23 | 5/6 |
One of the purest getter of buckets in the league. He’s gone for at least 30 points 17 times this season. He shoots, he scores. No wonder Kendall Jenner left Ben Simmons for Booker.
JaVale McGee
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 1/1 | 7/9 | 1/1 |
In 23 minute off the bench. Deandre Ayton only played 23 minutes due to foul trouble, and he eventually fouled out. Bismack Biyombo played one minute.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 38 | 5 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0/1 | 16/27 | 6/8 |
DeRozan said that he wanted to join the Lakers this summer. <walks to closet to get sharpened seppuku knives> Instead, they went the Russell Westbrook route. <goes to center of the room. kneels down. sticks knife into guts> He’s a top 20 player for fantasy right now despite contributing only 0.6 tres, 0.9 steals, and 0.3 blocks. He’s garnering a 31.4% usage rate, the highest in five years. He’s converting 50% of his field goal attempts and 86% from the line. He’s averaging 27.2 points, 5.2 rebounds, and 5.1 assists. Looks at Russell Westbrook’s stats. <twists knife. moves it horizontally to make sure all the intestines have been sliced>
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 32 | 6 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4/7 | 9/20 | 10/10 |
Returned from a two-game absence and played 37 minutes. Back issues are tricky and can flare up at any time but he looked damn good last night. Top 30 player on the season. Imagine if he contributed the D. The ladies in Chicage must be very happy he doesn’t on the court.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/4 | 1/7 | 0 |
Continues to start and played 33 minutes. Ruh roh? I really don’t know what to make of Ayo. I think there’s something here, as he has shot creation ability, is an excellent passer, can shoot, plays excellent defense, has the work ethic, and looks to have a high hoops IQ. That said, was last night an aberration or the reason he was a second-round pick? What happens when Lonzo Ball returns? I traded for him in a dynasty league and have received some nice offers for him but I’ve balked.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 30 | 6 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2/5 | 10/20 | 8/12 |
That’s back-to-back games scoring at least 30 points. Prior to that, he went for 18, 17, 9, and 11. It’s been a fall from grace for Julius, after last year’s top 40 performance. He’s outside the top 100 this season. As a result, NYC is stabbing this Julius in the back like a prisoner with a self-made shank.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 19 | 21 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 8/11 | 3/6 |
Played 36 minutes. This is why we drive to Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood. Strangely, that was only the 10th time he’s played at least 30 minutes. Things don’t need to be hard, Thibs. Play your best players….as many minutes as they can handle and good things happen. Taj Gibson was a DNP and Nerlens Noel only played 12 minutes. While that makes me sad because I have some shares, it’s the right thing to do.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1/7 | 8/25 | 6/8 |
In 43 minutes. Guess where Barrett is ranked for fantasy. Nope. Whatever you guessed, multiply it by 2. He’s outside the top 200! He provides no defensive stats and is shooting 41% from the field and 69% from the line. Only 2.6 dimes. Yuck. He’s still young but….I worry about the shanking that could come his way in a few years.
Udoka Azubuike
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 7 | 14 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 3/5 | 1/2 |
Made his third straight start for Rudy Gobert and played 28 minutes. Boards and blocks is what he do.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 32 | 7 | 6 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 2/10 | 13/26 | 4/6 |
Mitchell missed eight games then only played 22 minutes in his return last Friday. Well, I’d say that he’s back and good to go after playing 36 last night. After languishing in the top 50 range for the first four years of his career, he’s finally broken out and is a top 15 player for fantasy. He’s always provided the trinity of points, boards, and dimes but it’s been the increase in steals and efficiency that have boosted him up. He’s at 1.6 steals after being at 1 the last two seasons. He’s also shooting 45%, the first time over 44% in his career. Also, 87% from the line.
