After averaging 11.1 ppg on .385 shooting from the floor in February and March, Jamal Crawford is averaging 18.3 ppg on .500 shooting from the floor so far in April. Owners must not remember anything past April Fool’s Day when they get to negotiatin’ new deals. Guess that’s why they call it April Fool’s. Look, far be it from me to flip all winter long only to flop when winter turns to spring, but you probably don’t have much to lose by plugging Crawford in these last nine days. Josh Smith is out and if your team is still in, it’s probably in spite of Crawford, not because of it. He’s shooting better now than he has all year. And yeah, that’s a small sample size, but so is the window you have left to improve your performance. Take what Crawford offered.
Here’s what else went down in the busiest fantasy basketball Tuesday in the history of space and time!
Josh Smith – Looks like Smoove is out for the rest of the week and you’ll have to Remoove him from your lineup. Still, he should be back for Atlanta’s final two games – if you care.
Gerald Henderson – 11.3/4.7/1 in three April games. This is the guy helping D.J. Augustin do all the heavy lifting for Charlotte in their playoff push. Gerald must have popped a hernia and is just lifting with the tips of his fingers. That’s how I help my friends move.
Kwame Brown – 5.3/5.3, with 1 block in his last three games. Also, he’s Kwame Brown. You wouldn’t have him blow on your dice, why have him in your lineup with eight days left?
Dante Cunningham – 21/7, then 4/5, then 10/11 last night. Is there some last-minute value there for you? Only in the deepest of leagues. Like the kind that reads Sartre and measures their caffeine intake by shots.
Jason Richardson – Shot 0-for-5 from the line on his way to 4-of-14 on the night. Richardson, you disappoint me more than Lupe Fiasco’s new album.
Hedo Turkoglu – 12/10/3, with four turnovers. I mention the turnovers on an otherwise decent night because sour grapes make sweet, sweet wine. And because no matter how solidly he ends his season, I’m not taking Turkoglu with my first 100 picks next year. I’m not trying to talk you out of it. But if I haven’t talked you out of it, can I join your league?
Drew Gooden – Averaging 15/7.3 in his last four and was the only Milwaukee Suck to score more than 10 points last night. But you already grabbed him, right? Riiight.
Carlos Delfino – Returned last night, but if you wasted a GP on him, you wish he hadn’t.
Brandon Jennings – I can admit that I don’t have even an inkling of what it must feel like to be a basketball player, to work in the public eye and to feel the weight of thousands multiple time a year (with this site, I only feel the weight of, like, nine or so!) but I’d love to know if Jennings (or anyone who played like he played this close to season’s end) ever thinks, “Holy cats there are thousands of fantasy owners cursing me out across the world right now. Right now!” 8/3/1, with five turnovers and a 3-for-15 suckhole night from the field. Suckhole!
Anthony Randolph – 20/10, with six turnovers and two blocks. Love’s out for either a) one more game, b) two more games, or c) the season. Either way, play Randolph at least one more game unless you’re just trying to avoid TOVs. In which case, bench everybody.
Sasha Vujacic – First double-double of the season (17/10/4). For Sasha, not for the entire NBA. I think that happened way back in, like, February or something. Who knows? It was all so long ago.
Deron Williams – 18/21. This must feel like sparkler in the nostril to those of you who benched him this week.
Dorell Wright – 7-for-29 (.241) in the last two games. So that’s happening.
Paul Millsap – Had a nice line, but dude was blocked eight times. He had that ball blasted all over. It was terrible. One might even have called it “Appalling Pill Slaps.” No? “Stalled Skill Crap?”
Gordon Hayward – 22/6/5, with two steals and a block. Derrick Favors started at SF and ended with a double-double (14/11, with a steal and two blocks). If you had asked me in October who would be performing better in the final week of the season between Hayward and Favors … uh, yeah. I totally would have predicted Hayward.
Ron Artest – And now let’s play, “Whoa! Chill out, Ron Artest.” 9/7/2, with three steals and four blocks. Whoa! Chill out, Ron Artest. That was fun.
Wilson Chandler – Has scored 8, 7, 4, 7 and 5 in his last five. Ill, son.
Nene Hilario – I specifically traded for Nene at the deadline in order to boost my FG% down the stretch. Now that we’re in the stretchiest part of the stretch, he’s shooting .435 in his last three. Do you see anything Hilario? ‘Cause I’m not laughing.
Maurice Evans – I’m going to skip over Wall and Blatche and even Jordan Crawford (still unowned i half the leagues, which means he’s probably owned in over 200 percent of the leagues that are still paying attention, which means there’s a glitch in the Matrix) and skip right to Maurice Evans, who dropped 20 points last night and 20+ in three of the last six. His shot is unstable and a few other players on his team are playing out of their gourd right now, but he rebounds and shoots the three and could be the final pick-up that makes the difference between you being Miss Daisy instead of just driving her.
Rodney Stuckey – Benched. Again. This will be the last time I ever say this to you, but you should do what Kuester is doing.
Greg Monroe – 22/14/4, with four steals and a block in 43 minutes. “See you next year, Greggy!” – The Seventh Round Of Fantasy Drafts.
Ed Davis – 22/13 and I’m kinda hoping that a few people confuse Davis with Monroe next season and draft Davis 3-4 rounds sooner than they should.
Andrea Bargnani – Hey! Bargs is ba– what? He’s down again? How do you know? Because he barely grabbed a rebound, shot poorly from the floor and disappointed every last one of his owners? Okay, I’m not seeing the difference between a healthy and injured Bargnani.
DeMar DeRozan – I know his 36/10 came against the Knicks, but this guy is the best scorer in the game no one has talked about. Except for them that’s read Razzball since, say, January. DemAre DeOnes DehRafting him in the eighth round next season.
Toney Douglas – Scored 28 points against Toronto. Meh. He’s scored 20+ points 10 times this season, 28+ points three times this season. You feelin’ lucky that he’ll do either in the next four games? Hint: don’t feel lucky.
Eric Gordon – Since returning from injury he’s shooting .398 and averaging 17.2 points. Err, ick!
Evan Turner – 21/3/5! YEAH! 21! 3! 5! KaBoOm! …
… *crickets.*
