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Awwwwww, yeah!  Yeah J-Val.  Gimme a little peek.  Gimme a little glimmer of hope!

Oh man, was it a tale of two halves for the Raptors last night!  They were lobbin’ shizz all over the place like they were the Globetrotters against the…  Who do they play again?  That they always beat?  Oh yeah, the Knicks, like they were the Globetrotters against the Knicks.  Kyle Lowry had 9 dimes in the first quarter and Jonas Valanciunas put up 14 points on 7-8 shooting.  Drummo playing uggo!  Kinda a “but his D” lately…  The Luminescent Lithuanian ended up going 14-15 for 31/12/0/0/1.  The FT% is nice (3-4 last night and right at 80% on the year), but his combined – yes COMBINED – Ast/Stl/Blk this year are under 2.  Sigh.  I thought he could turn into something so much more special!  There are some long-term nice things – per-36s he’s cut down a few TO, scoring more, fouls are down – but Casey is playing him lower minutes than last year (and wouldn’t consistently feed him after that hot start) and I don’t know if he’s ever going to be more than a slightly taller Zach Randolph.  And with that, J-Val is all insulted, buttoning up his clothes, and not giving me that flash of hope.  Dammit, I’m my own cockblocker!  Me n Valaciunas are gonna be awkward for a while until safely in the friendzone.  Here’s what else went down on a light night of Monday action:

Kyle Lowry Yeah, no idea what happened to the Raps last night.  Raptors fans?  Are you OK after watching that?  Up 32-20 after 1, the Raptors were playing lob city like a Blake Griffin wet dream.  Then they let it slip out of their hands like they were Dez Bryant.  Lowry went from playing like Bob Cousy out there to more like Tony Wroten, with 9 dimes in the first and ending up with a 10/7/12/2/0 line on 3-12 shooting.  Lowry had a 9:1 AST:TO in the 1st to 3:6 the rest of the game.  Stan Van adjustments!  Not much of a takeaway other than #COLLAPSE!

James Johnson Another start, and wasn’t great but solid.  11/4/4/0/1 on 3-3 FG.  Knows his role!

Greivis Vasquez – Doesn’t know his role!  His role is be a Twerp!  7-9 FG (2-3 3PTM) for 16/3/4/1/1.  Providing some marginal value if you average the last 5 games, but it’s as up and down as a bipolar acrophobic on a roller coaster.

Greg Monroe – The Moose is loose!  Best-selling bumper sticker for beastialiacs.  Don’t think that’s a word, but I’m watching @midnight and dirty-ing it up!  22/10/2/1/1 with no TO on 9-16 FG.  Only 4-7 FT, but he’s been on a tear.  7 straight dubdubs, albeit with only 2 total blocks in that span.  Apparently Monroe can’t jump either!

Brandon Jennings – Ewwwww.  I mean, I guess he had a good game and all D-ing up Lowry a little better and the big line.  34/2/10/2/0 with only 2 TO on 11-12 FG (4-8 3PTM 8-9 FT).  Eh, still a sell-high if you can – didn’t play 30+ minutes the previous 4 games, the FG% was back down, but he has been boosting AST while keeping TO way down.  It raises the price a little, but I’m still not all in.

Anthony Davis Never doubt the Brow!  34/9/4/0/3, and while the steals have come down those ooey gooey %s sure haven’t.  10-23 FG wasn’t great, but 14-15 FT.  And all with such a low TO rate…  I’m in love!

Jrue Holiday Ruh roh.  Ankle inflammation and only got through 16 minutes last night racking up 5 TO.  It’s the same leg that he broke last year and from what I learned in med school, “the leg bone is connected to the – – ankle bone!”  Hopefully this is nothing serious and we’ll get a positive update this afternoon.

Eric Gordon Meh.  Played 36 minutes and somehow didn’t spontaneously combust.   21/2/3/1/0 with 4 TO.  Hit 3 treys, but there’s no way NO wants to play him 36 minutes a game.

Jae Crowder Oh man, maybe he shoulda been the open!  Eh well, YOOO!  “You Only Open Once”?  No?  Awful attempt at some sort of joke there.  This Crowder blurb is a complete throwaway!  And while I don’t think his fantasy value is quite to that extreme, I don’t put too much stock in yesterday’s rainbow of 22/3/3/4/2 (career-high scoring) with a couple of treys.  Sure Jeff Green shipped out has some minutes opened up, but Crowder is a good energy/role guy, not a consistent stat stuffer.  Boston Clam Crowder!  Easy nickname though…

Jared Sullinger – Same dealie-o-o as Greivis.  Ups and downs!  Except Sully is worth owning…  27/10/3/1/1 with a trey and hit 8-9 FT.

Tyler Zeller/Kelly Olynyk I think I am officially outlawing any questions of which Celtics C to own.  Haha.  Sometimes one is good, sometimes both, and last night both stunk.  Olynyk got into foul trouble and Zeller shot 1-9.  It’s a coin Flip Saunders!  Maybe if that’s a comment, I’ll legit flip a coin.

Kevin Garnett – Face smash!

Dwight Howard – “Wahhhhhh, it was hard to play, my face all hurt n stuff!”

Jarrett Jack – “Wahhhhhh, Dwight, you can’t cry that’s my job!”  13/2/6/0/1 missing all 4 shots from deep, but this was a tough matchup.  “Wahhhh, I had Patrick Beverley on me!”

Bojan Bogdanovic 13/5/3/2/0 with no TO on 4-9 shooting.  That’s like, Sergey Karasev‘s best game ever.  Hence why Karasev is gone and it’s time to boogie with Boggie.

Mason Plumlee Another career best in scoring for Prof. Plum for 24/10/0/1/0.  A little empty, but made 10-11 FG and all 4 FT!  I guess you give up a few blocks for that!

Donatas Motiejunas – A little empty as well at 18/11/1/0/0.  Hit 8-11 shots and his only attempt from deep, and led the Rockets in minutes.  Not only led them, but 7 more minutes over next-highest James Harden!  Josh Smith looks absolutely perfect off the bench.  Perfect as in, he’s not starting.  13/6/3/1/2 on 5-15 shooting, and keeping his minutes at 27 keeps the TO low!

Tony Snell – Can be an NBA starter in his peak.  Started last night but only played 22 minutes, with a solid 5/3/3/1/0 line hitting a trey on 2-3 shooting and no TO.  Our friends at Rotoworld love slamming his offensive game, but he’s got a nice shot and some hops.

Nikola Mirotic – While he’s obviously a better offensive guy over Snell, just can’t gaurd anything other than opposing 4s.  Why his minutes are staying so low despite having some great aggression (7 shots in 11 minutes with 6-9 FT last night).

Derrick Rose – Returned from some knee soreness for a solid 18/2/7/2/0 line.  I thought he looked fine out there, but is always a sell-high if anyone will buy.

Channing Frye – Is just such a liability guarding in the post these days…  Has a nice line for 5/5/5/2/1, but shot 2-10 and had 5 fouls.  Did not look strong down there, and Kyle O’Quinn remains in Vaughn’s doghouse.  O’Quinn looked good too!  Minus a line-drive 3-point shot that almost cracked the backboard…

Devyn Marble – “And [insert player name] loses his Marbles!”  Should be the announcer call every time Marble gets a steal.  Another start with no Tobias Harris or Evan Fournier, and got another 3 steals in 30 minutes.  8 steals the past two games, so could be a worth a stream later in the week if those regulars are still out.  He’s a horrific FT shooter though, missed all 3 yesterday pretty bad.  0-5 on the year.  Small sample be damned!

Victor Oladipo – Ya know, has a good game for 11-17 FG (3-4 3PTM 8-10 FT) scoring 33, but the line is only 33/2/2/1/0 and it was really fluky he had no TO.  Bulls just didn’t show up.  Trap game!

Nikola Vucevic For as much as I think Oladipo is a sell-high, Vuc is a friggin’ manbeast.  I’m pretty sure Lil Dicky’s song Ex-boyfriend is about him…  33/11/4, but no steals or blocks and only 1-5 FT.  So I guess a little bad was mixed in there, but 16-24 from the field as he tore apart the Bulls inside.

 

Streamers/Daily League Picks:

Thabo Sefolosha (3% owned) – My first streamer pick ideas always start with teams vs. Philly.  ‘Losha isn’t going to score 20 off the bench in junk time, but is off 9/8/2/1/0 and his hit his last 3 treys.  I think he gets upper 20 minutes off the bench, gets some steals off Wroten, and collects some nice rebounds.

Ronnie Price (6% owned) – After his dimebag Sunday night with 12 assists, he’s been one of fantasy’s most added guys.  The Price is Right!  How many times has that been punned…  Probably not too much for Ronnie!  Maybe Mark Price…  Anyway, the Heat have trouble guarding PG consistently, and I could see another 7-8 dimes tonight.

 

I hope everyone had a nice start to their week 12 matchups and we’ll catch ya tomorrow!