By now you, you’re undoubtedly getting fat off the meat of yesterday’s trades. You’ve unbuttoned your trousers, leaned back hard in your chair, farted a little (admit it, you did), listened to Grandma asking if you’ve heard about “Carmen Anthony,” all while digesting that which went down and that which still might might go down in the waning moments of the trade deadline. No sense in delaying further, let’s get to the Anthony talk we all came here to ponder …
Anthony Randolph – Uber-hyper forward, playing out of position and never given a full chance at starting, only to see his redemption come in the form of the last-place Minnesota Timberwolves? Yeah, Beasley, that does sound like your old tale from the sea. The problem here is that Wes Johnson and Martell Webster were your competition. With Randolph, Darko and a little fella named Kevin Love are in Randolph’s way. I’m not sold on him. I was sold on him in Golden State and I was sold on him in New York, so if he’s gonna break my heart a third time, I might as well create a solid fantasy forward in the process. He’s get burn, which is a huge step up from when he was Eastbound and Down. I’d be surprised if he does a ton with the minutes this season. The most I’m hoping for is flashes to build on for next season.
Eddy Curry – Really? Is there any chance he and Pekovic won’t be fighting over the last buttermilk biscuit on team dinners at Popeye’s?
Danilo Gallinari – Ugh. I haven’t seen someone so tethered to Wilson since Hanks was stranded on that island for four years.
Wilson Chandler – Ugh. I haven’t seen someone so stunted by the Rooster since Alice In Chains tried to create a second big hit!
Raymond Felton – He went from the 26th fastest team in the league last season to the second fastest this season and his points jumped by five, his assists jumped by 3.5 and his three-point shooting doubled. Now (for now?) he’s on the third fastest team in the league, but he doesn’t have anyone to pass to. His assists are going down, along with his field-goal percentage, while his point total stays relatively untouched.
Timofey Mozgov – At least the Knicks’ core of Felton and Mozgov remains unbroken. He’s averaging 11/8, with almost two blocks a game when he plays 36 minutes. Trouble is, even if Nene goes bye-bye, Harrington, Martin, Andersen, and maybe someone like Troy Murphy will all be there to ensure Mozgov doesn’t see more than 30 minutes a night. Also, remember how winded this guy got earlier in the season. He doesn’t really have a running up the court for most of the game-type of disposition.
Ty Lawson – Remember how you’ve been told over and over to stash Lawson in case a trade was made that shook up the team? Well, it happened. Remember how we said, as long as Chauncey Billups was traded with ‘Melo, Lawson was a no-brainer? Well, that happened too. Remember how we said Raymond Felton screws everything up? Yeah, well, go back and check the tape! Get ready for a bonus round of “No seriously, just hang onto Ty Lawson until this trade stuff shakes out!” Ty Lawson: The most-owned, least-used player in fantasy basketball this season!
Shelden Williams – Remember how he averaged 5/5 in 17 minutes wearing a powder blue Nuggets jersey? Picture that in a dark blue Knicks jersey and you’ll know how the rest of Williams’ season will go.
Corey Brewer – Jesus, these are some fast teams doing the trading this week. The three fastest to be exact. Brewer is getting shipped from the fastest team in the league to the second fastest team in the league, where he’ll shake the shackles of fighting for playing time with Wesley Johnson, Martell Webster and Michael Beasley … to fight for playing time against Toney Douglas, Shawne Williams and Bill Walker. Truthfully, no one will remember that Corey Brewer didn’t start the season on the Knicks by the time June rolls around. If you owned him before, keep owning him. If not, keep not.
Chauncey Billups – I’m fine with this aspect of the trade. Billups has a little life left in him, made all the easier by passing to Amar’e in addition to Anthony. His strength remains in his long-range jumper and his free throw shooting, both will only be enhanced by playing for D’Antoni’s Knicks.
Carmelo Anthony – I’ll say this much about Miami’s Big Three, in the end, those guys aren’t selfish with one another. They may be selfish with the other dozen players on the roster, but not with one another. Anthony and Stoudemire? They are not those guys.
