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Everyone is hatin’ because they anusing!  Ok, weirdest intro sentence ever…  Our own Adam is killing it in the REL, with HateUsCauseTheyAnus maintaining a stronghold on first place.  He’s becoming a trade fiend as well!  Someoneeeeeee isn’t happy with their squad!  A big chunk of FAAB was spent this week on the wire, as the playoff race is taking shape.  Here’s how week 14 went down in the REL:

RAZZBALL ELITE LEAGUE

1. HateUsCauseTheyAnus  (81-43-2)

FAAB Remaining: $1  FAAB Moves this week: Byrce Dejean-Jones ($26)

2. Martyball – IFBL  (78-47-1)

FAAB Remaining: $76  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

3. Yappers  (77-46-3)

FAAB Remaining: $49  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

The 6-3 victory this past week concluded a tougher part of my schedule against top half teams against which I finished a combined 15-12. Last night I was hoping for 15 rebounds between Mason Plumlee and Hibbert to take that category. I got 5. Still the 0.463 FG% may have been close to my season’s high and was enough to take both ratios. I observe that the next three matchups of the season are against teams in the bottom third, and hopefully there will be no surprises.

As of this morning, four players have the Inj. status. Fortunately they are players 13-15 on my depth chart (Kevin Martin, O.J. Mayo, Devin Harris) and prospect Sam Dekker. So it is so logical to trade one of my other prospects (R.J. Hunter) for a fifth player bearing the Inj. status (Mike Dunleavy). While I am sorry to see R.J. go, I realize I can not expect to contend and carry two prospects not getting minutes. I hope that by the time our playoffs start he will be getting 22-24 minutes per game with a very attractive 4-4-5 playoff schedule. With this trade I am probably good for a while, although I will be considering trading the 18th 2015 draft pick Sam Dekker near the trade deadline if the stars are all properly aligned.

4. I Ain’t No Jok(ic)  (76-48-2)

FAAB Remaining: $41  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

This week was a true team effort. Nobody played great really, though guys like Jokic played better than expected, but nobody put up a ridiculous line for the week. What they did do was have everybody, and I mean everybody show up for work. The worst line of the week for my team belonged to Tim Hardaway who put up 20/6/2/1 with 2 threes and a 37%/100% shooting line. If that’s the worst I think I’m going to be okay. Every player, save for DeMarre Carroll in the IL spot, put up at least 20 points. Together they combined for over 700 points for the second week in a row, and put up what I assume is a season high for me in rebounds at an impressive 314. All around solid.

I didn’t have any big FAAB moves this week, only putting in one bid and not really expecting to get him, which I didn’t when he went for $20+ what I bid. The Jordan McRae bid caught me by surprise at $40 too. I didn’t think a guy who the Sixers cut would go for so much, though, he definitely has scoring upside after putting up 60+ in the D-League. No trades this week either, a few offers but nothing really imminent as I like where my team is for the most part. The other issue with trading at this point is that rebuilding teams want young players from me, but, those young players are for the most part all getting playing time which causes me to not want to deal them really. The guys with low minutes are the Mozgov’s, and Livingston’s of the world as far as my team goes. Not really rebuilding material there. Though Hardaway is young…

The 7-2 win got me into 4th place, just 1.5 games out of 2nd now. First doesn’t look too unreasonable either with the deficit only being 5 games now. I’m hoping for another big win this week to continue my run of the last 5 weeks where my team is an impressive 37-7 over that span! Let’s keep it going guys!

5. Slim – Razzball  (76-49-1

FAAB Remaining: $9  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

Up till now everything that’s happened has been in the past, and even that is too now.  Time moves too fast sometimes.  It’s almost as if the present is in the past before the future becomes the present.  It’s finally time to turn my eye to the not so distant future before I wait too long and it’s in the past.  With only 5 weeks to go until the playoffs I’m still firmly entrenched in the playoff hunt, and only 1.5 games away from a 1st round bye even.  In these coming weeks I play against the current numbers 7, 8, and 3 non-playoff bound teams.  This week I get #7 in what is an extremely important match-up for both of us.  If he beats me soundly then I’ll be on the outside looking in, but if I beat him then it probably ends his playoff aspirations and all but guarantees me a spot in my 3rd straight playoffs.

A quick glance at the other teams schedules is very telling of how things are going to turn out.  The #1 team has the toughest schedule including 2 current playoff teams and another 2 who are not pushovers, but he’s the best team in the league and it’s doubtful he gets knocked out.  #2 and #3 do not play another playoff team.  They are in.  The #4 and #6 teams are the ones who play the top team and besides that one match-up they have no other playoff caliber teams on their schedule.  #4 is in.  #6 (JB) is still a bit up in the air, and if he doesn’t get healthy soon he can kiss the playoffs adieu.  So from my evaluation 1-4 are in, I’m 5 and if I win this week it would be tough for me to get knocked out, and 6 currently has no less than 4 suitors knocking on his door at all hours of the night.  Comeon people, he’s a married man.

I never believed my $9 was going to get me Bryce Dejean-Jones but I’m still a bit bummed I missed out.  The minutes are crazy right now and he looks like a decent 3-and-D wing and sure he’s an older rookie at 23 but when they are playing 36 minutes per game I can let that slide.  Plus the Pels have a ton of guys down and several key pieces are UFA next year, and on the trade block.  I’ll show a little more transparency than most by saying my drop was going to be Kobe.  Sure he was solid yesterday but those games are few and far between and if there’s one guaranteed non-keeper on my team it’s obviously Kobe.  I finally felt what a low FAAB budget is like and guess what, it sucks!

6. JB Gilpin – Razzball  (71-50-5)

FAAB Remaining: $1  FAAB Moves this week: Tyler Hansbrough ($0)

Well, the injuries are crippling me, but you know what they say when you fall of the horse!  Man, I can’t wait for Zoolander 2, I hope it’s good…

…at least a lot better than my triage, as I’m basically a battlefield medical tent right now.  Losses by 23 REB, 12 AST, 4 STL and 7 BLK.  I easily win those margins 2 weeks ago, but Hassan Whiteside, Jeremy Lamb, and Brandon Knight all missed the week then Ian Mahinmi and Tyler Johnson start missing games, and all while my best player Kawhi Leonard has had 5 games the past two weeks including some blowouts limiting his run.  Been no bueno.  I’ve got one more matchup against a lower-seeded team, then try my luck at #1 Anus.  If I’m not healthy by then it might be rebuild mode – funny how things change so fast, I was healthy and 1.5 games out of first two weeks ago.  The injury gods aren’t on my side.

7. Scurry to the Left  (72-52-2) 

FAAB Remaining: $98  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

8. Kap’s Team  (68-54-4)

FAAB Remaining: $98  FAAB Moves this week: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute ($0)

9. Niko-Cola  (68-56-2)

FAAB Remaining: $80  FAAB Moves this week: Miles Plumlee ($0)

I do not like to lose

It is something I do not chose

We missed on Hot Mustard

And got a big Turd

Now Someone give me the booze

If you couldn’t tell we lost last week!!!! Damn you old man Dirk and your days off! Damn you Batum and your injuries that NEVER heal. He’s not injury prone, but he either heals slowly or has a low pain tolerance… Just sayin. We also caught our opponent on a heavy curry/harden week which should have been a buzz saw. Had we stayed healthy we could have won easily… Darn you organs than are unnecessary.

Good news is we stayed in 9th just a few games back. If we can get a healthy week we have a big player advantage it seems and will hopefully be able to pull out a 6-3 win. The bad news is the trade deadline is rapidly approaching and it’s about time to decided which was to go. Next week we have a top team and that match will go a long ways in deciding if we are buyers or sellers at the deadline. Happy hooping everyone!

10. High as Greg Kite  (67-56-3)

FAAB Remaining: $0  FAAB Moves this week: David Lee ($13)

11. Hard-N-Tha-Paint  (65-60-1)

FAAB Remaining: $18  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

12. Hardenoutherr4apimp  (63-63-0)

FAAB Remaining: $62  FAAB Moves this week: Troy Daniels ($20)

13. Heat Apologist  (62-63-1)

FAAB Remaining: $0  FAAB Moves this week: Jordan McRae ($40)

14. Hoopus Alleyoopus  (52-72-2)

FAAB Remaining: $26  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

15. Foreign Affairs  (52-74-0)

FAAB Remaining: $91  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

Despite the 2-7 loss this week my team actually put forward a competitive effort this week and to another 4-5 week, thanks to please tell me he is finally free Gorgui, two strong games out of Austin Rivers(thanks Blake) and the returning very ahead of schedule and looking every bit the player I was hoping for MKG (2 threes last night mmmm) Heck if Wiggins hadn’t imploded at the end of the week I might have even won this match up.

Thought I would do a quick roster rundown of where I rank my guys for trading now that the league trade deadline looms closer with more wheeling and dealing getting done.

Guys that would be very very hard to get me to trade them
Jordan Clarkson$1, Gorgui Dieng $1 Dario Saric $2
These guys give me such solid production for such a cheap cost freeing me up for next years draft ontop of the upside Clarkson and Dieng still have I’m not looking to move them, Im really excited to see Clarkson when set free next year, Dieng might finnally have turned the corner with the Wolves and it seems Sam was just giving him tough love….fingers crossed… and Saric I just don’t want to move him without having seen him play any nba ball yet, after summer league sure but for now I would rather hold.

My future core but discussions can be had
Andrew Wiggins $38 D’Angelo Russell $30 Emmanual Mudiay $31 Michael Kidd Gilchrist $4
These are all guys im building around but are open for discussion depending on who is coming in, for Wiggins, Russell and Mudiay its a matter of if I can move them for cheaper players that I feel similar about or close to in terms of long term potential for my team so that I have more flexibility to go after next years rookies that I’m scouting quite heavily. MKG well he isn’t really someone I want to move given only two games this year but with only two games this year im not going to call him baby Shawn Marion suddenly.

Looking to keep but can be moved in the shuffle of $1 for $1 or to make a trade work
Joe Young$1 Cory Joseph $1 Donatas $1 Austin Rivers
There not quite in my future core because they haven’t done enough (though Joseph is close) to make me feel like I can’t lose them but there the exact players i’ve been looking for to fill up my team so I can be aggressive next draft, not letting Kristaps or KAT go this time.

Sticking around but are very much available.
Ryan Anderson $14 Iman Shumpert $3 Bojan $1
All three are there for any type of trade with my hope to trade Anderson in particular for a younger cheaper player that while might not be helpful this year or even next year is someone I believe can fit into my core group going forward. Again preference for opening up cap-space is preferred.

Please help your self
Bruno $1, Lucas Nogueira $1 Quincy Pondexter $1
All three open with no issues at all as to what I get back, Quincy is the one I have the most attachment to because he would be the Pelicans starting SF if he was healthy and had looked promising as a low end bench guy last he played, and given that teams dumpster fire of a roster right now (Alonzo Gee….) I can easily see him sliding into that spot next  year and in this league a $1 bench guy that gets minutes is fantastic

Tiago Splitter $4
Yep he gets his own tier, he’ll produce this year….so hes better then a dead roster spot for anyone competing for the championship and at this point unless Al Horford comes down with his bi-annual out of nowhere muscle injury he’s all yours.

No FAAB for me this week, thought about McRae but I really didn’t want to big the amount he would be going for just feel like there is to many in that backcourt to be worth it, David Lee is another guy I thought to return to my team in case of a trade but he’s win now if things go well and i’ve heard bad reports about him from Celtics fans that hes just looking slower with less jump then he used to.One of these weeks i’ll have actually picked up a player from FAAB with an actual bid beyond Quincy/Bennet/Bruno for free, still kicking myself for Ish Smith.

I go against Hard N Tha Paint this week and it looks like it should be a close match with both of us having some categories that could go either way, I hope that the young guys keep coming through for me.

16. Pete Nice – Razzball  (49-75-2)

FAAB Remaining: $83  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

17. The Nature Boy  (45-79-2)

FAAB Remaining: $75  FAAB Moves this week: Nick Young ($5)

18. No Glove No Love  (41-85-0)

FAAB Remaining: $64  FAAB Moves this week: Kevin Seraphin ($1), Kendall Marshall ($0)

19. The Chosen Ones  (41-85-0)

FAAB Remaining: $12  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

20. Cigar Smoking Monkey  (39-86-1)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a