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John Wall threw a punch at Zydrunas Ilgauskas and was ejected in the middle of the second half. What the hell was he swinging at Big Z for anyway? Ilgauskas is big. Says so right in his nickname. And he feels no pain. Says so right in his Lithuanian heritage! Wall’s the starting PG in my fantasy basketball bloggers league, of which this week is the championship game. Imagine how ecstatic I am that Wall not only missed more than half of last night’s game, but will likely miss D.C.’s next contest? Forget it, I’ll just tell you (that shoe/sock combination you’ve got going tells me your imagination is lacking) – I’m 0 percent ecstatic.

Here’s what else I saw in a 13-game Wednesday night in fantasy basketball.

Jordan Crawford - 39/3/4, with five turnovers and five threes. Or to put it another way, neither Wall nor Nick Young are likely to be in the Wizards’ next game against the Cavs. Or to put it yet another way, the three games after that are against the Bobcats, Pacers and Pistons. I’m running out of ways to put it.

Maurice Evans – 21/5, with three threes. Recall what I wrote about Crawford and apply it to Evans. Do it now!

Nick Young – Still bruised. I’m not sure if I’m talking about Young or Wiz fans.

Andray Blatche – Returned after missing the last 10 games to go 14/8/2, with three steals. I bid Yi farewell.

Deron Williams – Also returned after missing a few games with an injured wrist and ended with a solid 22/8/8. He didn’t look great, but more importantly, he didn’t look bad. Well, I mean. He always looks kinda bad, right? ‘Cause of that chinstrap beard and his paint-on hair? But I mean, his skills. He didn’t look unhealthy. Assuming he doesn’t have any backlash from last night’s game, he’ll be back tomorrow. And assuming I don’t have any backlash from this here joshing on Williams, I’ll be back for good tomorrow too.

Kevin Love – Run on players returning from injury! Love led his team in points and rebounds with a 16/9 line. Considering he’s a little rusty and his team was playing the Bulls, I’ll take this and ask for seconds. Like Williams, assuming there are no physical repercussions today, feel free to put a little Love in your heart (and roster).

Kyle Lowry – 19/3/3, with three steals and a pair of blocks. I haven’t loved Lowry’s FG% lately and one would hope for more assists in a full game than John Wall earned in 15 minutes, but that’s me picking nits. Anytime you get five stls+blks from your PG, it’s either a good thing or he was playing out of position all game and is almost certainly going to be benched the next time out.

Thaddeus Young – The guy Charles Barkley said was the best Sixer currently on the roster went 22/9 in 33 minutes against the Rockets. He’s gone at least 15/6 in five of his last six. He’s been consistent lately, but wildly inconsistent all season. I’d lay off unless you’re desperate. The one bad game in his last six was baaaaaaad. 4/1 bad.

Drew Gooden – 22/11, with one steal, assist and block each. The Bucks play Friday and again on Saturday. I know I told you a couple days ago to avoid owning Bucks at all costs. I told you that because they all seem to have great games one night and then crotch-slap you the next. Remember that when you rush to your waiver wire. Also, remember that Milwaukee was playing the Craptors. Also2 : Also Harder, Gooden went 2/8/0 just three nights ago.

Jose Calderon – Joe Kettle played 26 minutes before leaving with a hamstring injury and calling it quits for the night, or as I call it “Kettle Cooked.”

Stephen Jackson – Left the game after 15 minutes with that bad hammy and never returned. Just as John Wall took that swing on Z in D.C., Jackson’s hamstring snapped like stressed fishing line in North Carolina at the exact same moment, forcing Wall and Jack to magically switch bodies. Until they figure out a way of this mess I’d look elsewhere for production until the weekend … or longer. Also, you just know Jackson’s going to take a gun or two out in public while he’s in someone else’s body.

Boris Diaw – Double-doubled for the fifth time this season with a 26/7/11 line. Meh. Kudos if you played him, but I think I’d rather take my chances with another case. That’s how you play Diaw Or No Diaw, Howie.

Josh McRoberts – 15/13/2, with a pair of blocks. Doc McBob didn’t earn all these stats in garbage time, but a fair amount were. It’s possible that Vogel gives a few of the struggling Tyler Hansbrough‘s minutes to Roberts, but I wouldn’t count on it. Like the coke at a tranny party, you’d be better off ignoring this line.

Mike Dunleavy - Returned after a long shelf stint to go 9/2/2. If you’re into it, be into it.

Tracy McGrady - 2/1/0 in 12 minutes as T-Mac’s back wasn’t as supportive as it should be. Speaking of not being supportive, it’s time to dump him if you haven’t already. Stuckey’s producing (24/7/9) and took most of McGrady’s minutes last night.

Hedo Turkoglu – I have to admit, Hed’s playing much better than I thought he would. In his last seven he’s averaging 3.1 3ptm/16.1 pts/5.4 rbd/6.9 ast. You’ll take that. I won’t, because the minute I plug him into my lineup he’s going to poo the bed. But you? You go right on ahead.

Jason Richardson – Shot 1-for-7 from the field last night and finished with three points. He’s averaged .537 from the field in the first six games of this month. In the last nine since then, he’s averaged .383. Keep playing like a Buck, Richardson, you’ll get traded like one.

Stephen Curry – Fewer than 24 hours before last night’s game, Curry went 35/6/5 and I said, “I’m only 62 percent sure that this validates his status as a premiere point guard.” Cool beans, Yesterday Adam. For what it’s worth, I’m 100 percent sure that last night’s 6/6/9, with six turnover line doesn’t validate this status.

Wesley Matthews – Shot 3-for-7 with 7 points. In his last seven games Matthews has scored 28, 0, 15, 15, 4, 19 and 7. If you’ve started him in the last two weeks you’ve discovered Matthews’ inefficient bastard of a brother, Distressly Matthews.

Carl Landry – Since replacing David West in the hearts of Louisianans everywhere, Hot Carl has averaged 21.3/7.3. Between his success in Houston and his sudden run in N’Awlins, I’m guessing his secret is crawfish.

Ty Lawson – He’s shooting .614 from the floor in his last four games. Speed clearly trumps height here. If Lawson had a team all to himself, just imagine. Ah well. If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts we’d all have … something ‘er other. Let’s assume “we’d all have Ty Lawson on our fantasy teams.”

  1. i have about 6 games left per position (15 at utl) in my league and have kidd/dirk/matrix playing the lakers tonight… should i start them? on one hand i think this is the type of ‘statement games’ that you let your stars shine… and that mavs probably will start resting their vets (especially kidd) towards the end of the season… would you rather take loads of minutes against lakers or diminished minutes against the cavs?

    then i have injured rondo against injured spurs… sit or play him?

  2. Fahed Misho says:
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    I’m sorry to say I am in the second round of my playoffs and am very happy wall threw that punch.

    With that said, I want you to know you are extremely funny. Chin Strap beard and pain on hair hahahah! Thank you!

  3. Adam

    Adam says:
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    @hakasan: Start Dirk and Kidd, sit Marion. Rondo looked pretty good in his last game, I’d play him too.

    @Fahed Misho: Hehe. Thanks.

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