There were a few notable headlines out of Dallas, the first of which that Kennedy was assassinated. Jumping ahead a few decades to Tuesday night, the Nets somehow managed to outplay the Mavericks, led by Brook Lopez‘s 38 points and 6 rebounds (in 36 minutes). While Lopez owners are gushing (sometimes literally, check your underpants), I would like to draw your attention to Kris Humphries. Sure, he deserves scorn for bringing the Kardashian family even more headlines, but this guy has been good at basketball. Against the Mavs, he scored ten points with 15 rebounds and three blocked shots. He is averaging 13.6 PPG and 10.5 RPG, and in the past 13 games, he has swatted away opponent’s shots twice or greater eight times. That is some good stuff.
Rajon Rondo – Racked up 11 assists to go with…zero points?! In his last five games, he has scored 32, 35, 17, 5 and 0 points. At this rate, in his next game he will score in the wrong basket, much like I did when I was in 3rd grade. Hopefully it doesn’t haunt him the same way it … I’m sorry, it’s too painful to talk about.
Paul Pierce – 12/2/6 with 6 turnovers and 2-7 from behind the arc. Smooth move, Ex-lax.
Ray Allen – He scored 22 points but basically did nothing else. He had 1 rebound, 2 assists, no steals, and a turnover. It’s like he just camped in one spot all night and threw it up as soon as he got the ball.
Kyrie Irving – Produced a line of 24/4/3. The rest of the Cavs starters put up a line of 23/18/10. It’s too bad the Cleveland Rockers folded, they probably could have filled in and done a better job. Sorry, Kyrie.
Tristan Thompson – With 27 minutes off the bench, he tallied a double-double with 13 points and 10 boards. It’s his second in a row and third in four games. The only caveat is that during the one game he didn’t get a double-double, he scored not a once.
Golden State Warriors – “Home is full of lots of things that children shouldn’t touch. Home is full of bad things that can hurt you very much.” Well, being on the road didn’t help the Warriors, either. They shot for a lowly 34.1%, but the real kicker is the team collectively went 3-22 from behind the arc. Until now, I wasn’t sure it was possible to miss that many intentionally.
Brandon Rush – The only real bright spot for Golden State with 14 points, 7 assists, and mercifully didn’t chuck up any bricks from three point range.
Danny Granger – Shot for 25 points against the Warriors but not much else, dropping deuces in rebounds, assists and steals.
Roy Hibbert – The good doctor scored 12, grabbed nine, shared two and rejected three. I’m almost not sure what I just wrote.
Tyler Hansbrough – Who dis? I mean, Hansbrough dropped 8 buckets while going 6-6 from the free throw line to tally 15 points, in addition to 9 rebounds, all while playing a measely 16 minutes 14 seconds. Don’t race to the waiver wire yet, as the last time he earned more than five rebounds was February 4th. He’s also scored seven or fewer points in seven games this month.
Thaddeus Young – Thad had more than a smidgen of success on the night with 20 points, 8 rebounds and two blocks. The Warriors wish they had even a scintilla of the night Young had.
Jason Maxiell – When you have more turnovers (5) than points (4), you are not being very productive. As an aside, did you know that Maxwell House has been using “Good to the Last Drop” since 1917? That’s amazing!
Greg Monroe – Led the Pistons with 20 points and 8 boards, two shy of earning his fourth consecutive double-double. Like horseshoes and hand grenades, close enough.
Richard Hamilton – After missing a dozen games due to a sore right thigh, played nearly 17 minutes for 5/2/5. C.J. Watson also came back from a concussion repercussion but didn’t add much to the discussion, playing 7 minutes for 0/0/2.
Derrick Rose – A man possessed, he scored 32/2/9 with 3 steals. The only black mark was his 1-5 on three point attempts. Speaking of black, uh, things, I want this Lionel guy to talk to me about everything, everyday.
Brandon Jennings – The athletic…okay, I’ll stop. Jennings notched a season high in assists, coming up with a line of 14/4/10 plus one steal.
Trevor Booker – 20 points and 11 rebounds. The first time he reached double digits in both categories since February 10th, or 7 games ago for those who tally time in that manner.
JaVale McGee – WasN’t DynaMite, playing shy of 17 minutes and producing 4/6/0 with one block. I’ll chalk this up to rust, as he has been good for about 18 points and 10 rebounds over the past 2 weeks (although there has been a dip in scoring the past few games).
John Wall – Went balls to the Wall, accumulating a line of 19/5/15. The 7 turnovers weren’t pretty, but when you have 15 assists, that ratio kind of evens itself out. Of course, he’s had six nights of five or more turnovers this month, which isn’t thrilling unless you hate John Wall.
Kyle Lowry – His stats on the night read 26/3/5 a he picks up where he left off before the break. Yahoo! Fantasy Sports’ algorithm has him ranked 4th overall for the season thus far.
Jose Calderon – Netted seven points on 3 of 9 shooting but also collected seven assists on zero turnovers, so there’s that.
Ed Davis – Grabbed a season high 15 rebounds. It was also a career high. Who knows, it may end up being the most rebounds he ever gets in his entire professional career, so savor this moment, Ed Davis’ mom (if she reads Razzball (which she probably does (I mean, I would if I was her))).
Dirk Nowitzki – In the loss, led the team with 24 points and 10 boards, but interestingly only shot 7-11 from the free throw line (and he also missed one that didn’t count due to a lane violation). Okay, maybe “interestingly” was the wrong word to use there.
DeMarcus Cousins – Back from the break, all he did was produce 22/18/2 with a steal and a block. Your family always asks why you can’t be more like your Cousins.
Isaiah Thomas – Dropped 18/2/8, ho hum…in opposite world (the same place where no one cracks jokes about Rick Santorum’s sweater vests). His (Thomas, not Santorum) previous three games looked like this: 18/2/6, 24/3/5, 23/8/11. I know if he (Thomas, not Santorum) was on my waiver wire, I would be clicking to add him (Thomas, not…eh, you know) right now. Of course, Adam told you he was a “must own” on the 20th, and I wrote “now is the time to own him” on the 22nd, and Adam said to dip him in gravy on the 23rd, so really you should already own him…and a large supply of gravy.
Paul Millsap – Started, played close to 25 minutes, produced 5/2/4. Um…no?
Josh Howard – On Tuesday, 15/7/3 as a starter. His last two games, 19/6/2 and 12/7/1. My advice: play him while he’s getting minutes and earning stats. And maybe dip him in barbecue sauce.
Derrick Williams – Thought he was LeBron James on Tuesday night, generated 27 points, 5 rebounds and a block. Michael Beasley gave the same, minus the block. The other difference is Beasley is more likely to repeat the performance (or close enough), although he is too inconsistent for my tastes. Oh, yeah, and the five Timberwolves starters together tallied 37 points.
Kevin Love – On 4-13 shooting, including 0-2 from downtown, still managed 10/7/2.
Caron Butler – 2 points, ten shots taken. As the fruit say, Lolwut.
DeAndre Jordan – I am ignoring Blake Griffin’s 30 point explosion to point out that Jordan had 14 rebounds to go with his 14 points. It seems every pair of numbers I wrote tonight were identical, i.e. “five times in five games.” Ah, well. Anyway, he was averaging 6.2 RPG but has been up to 10.75 RPG since February 11th. Use that information for good, not evil.