What is going on out there?!  Stupid Northern teams…  I can’t remember Toronto ever canceling games because of snow!

Both Portland at Brooklyn and Sacramento at New York ended up getting postponed as this foreign concept of “snow” began “falling” from the sky.  These New Yorkers have no idea what goes on outside of their bubble!  Damn, we got snow, we got fires canceling games like in Mexico City last year…  Game of Basketball: A Song of Ice and Fire.  Well, of course there’s the game missed from all those players, but the blizzard that’s rolling in could cause another postponed game or two.  Basketball all the sudden is as dependent on weather as those “other” sports…  Once all of the inclement weather has blown over and all the games that need to be cancelled have been nixed, then we’ve got the big variable – rescheduling.  And for H2H leagues, that could mean some big changes to the H2H playoff schedule.  We already know Kings/Nets will be March 3rd, but Blazers/Nets will be April 6th, the first Monday of week 24 if your playoffs go that deep.  Somehow both were scheduled right before and after the standard H2H playoffs!  NBA schedule makers are fantasy players…  But any further reschedules could become impactful if they happen March 16-April 5 (weeks 21-23).  It will throw Slim’s incredibly awesome playoff breakdown for a loop!  Seriously though, that shizz is gold…  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ugh.  I’ve said numerous times I hate when injuries prove any calls right or wrong, but my BJ tooting horn, ya know – the one that says sell high – isn’t looking bad anymore.

If you missed it over the weekend, Brandon Jennings tore his Achilles and is out for the season.  And this isn’t one of those LaMarcus Aldridge thingies where he can just decide not to have surgery and keep playing.  Let’s hope Aldridge didn’t inject some sort of juice in that thumb!  ADHD alert, JB!  More on L.A. later…  So with BJ done, the Pistons only have to change one letter and put in the D.J.!  D.J. Augustin is an obvious must-own in all leagues, and while I’ve been one of the hardest “Wahhhhhhhh!  I’m Jarrett Jack!” pushers, Augustin vaulted him right away, even before last night.  Tore up the Craptors for 18 points in the first half in a redonkulous 35/4/8 line with 5 treys.  D.J.s no longer welcome in Canada!  Wedding costs are going to be out of hand…  No more Jazzy Jeff!  “Who got maple syrup all over the turntable, eh?!”  If you’re reading this and there’s still a D.J. on your wire, as The Crystal Method would say, “NOW IS THE TIME!”  Here’s what else went down over the crazy weekend of fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last year, I think Jonas Valanciunas might have won the “most annoying player for JB” award.  Eh, Jeff Green was up there too…  But we’ve got a clear front-runner for 14-15!

If you had money on Brandon Jennings racking up the first double dimebag of the season, then all praise be onto you!  Great game against the Magic, as he gashed their “defense” for a 24/0/21/0/0 line.  Pretty empty to me, only two cats in there!  First 20-assist game this season, doubling up the dimebags and making BJ’s value as high as Katt Williams.  You’re probably looking like this as a Jennings owner right now!  He’s only the 4th guy to put up a 20/20 game since 2000, and I guess all my sell Jennings high hooblah is looking a little dumb now…  I still think if you can get one of the higher-tier guys like a Jeff Teague you have to do it, but otherwise I guess it’s a strong hold and ride the wave.  Upside of two dimebags on any given night?!  That’s a friend you need to keep for life!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re in week 13, people. Where does the time go? Seems like a mere 3 months ago that the season started. Ahh, memories… Say, do you guys like going to see the ponies? Not my-little-pony, brah, I’m talking the track, where they race the horses. For money. You get to see dirty, desperate people throw their last few shekels on an equine dream, which mostly ends sadly, but sometimes, just sometimes, you get to see a moment of pure excitement, approaching ecstasy, when a long-shot filly comes in, and someone wins big. It’s glorious to see a seemingly sad little man so happy for once. I want you to be that sad little man, gentle reader, it too would be glorious. So lets take a stroll down to the stables, and take a look at the stallions, and see whom we should hitch our cart to, and who’s destined for the glue factory, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After celebrating Ohio State’s National Championship on Monday, LeBron James returned to the Cleveland Cavaliers lineup on Tuesday. He picked up right where he left off, scoring 33 points, grabbing 7 rebounds, and dishing out 5 assists following a two-week break due to knee and back issues. The Cavaliers still lost the game, but fantasy owners won’t care about the Cavs’ record as long as James continues to put up lines like that.

James looked healthy and explosive, especially on these dunks. He wasn’t on a minutes restriction, as he saw 37 minutes of court time. James’ return pushes Mike Miller back to the bench, but he wasn’t providing much in starter’s minutes anyways.

While Miller moved back to the bench, J.R. Smith put up 29 points in his third start for the Cavs, after scoring 4 and 27 points in his two previous starts. It’s clear that Smith can still score in bunches on any given night, but expect the inconsistency to continue, as he is the fourth option on offense. There are just not enough shots to go around when you’re starting alongside Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving, and LeBron James.

Now that J.R. Smith is teammates with Shawn Marion, perhaps Smith will stop trying to untie Marion’s shoes.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Awwwwww, yeah!  Yeah J-Val.  Gimme a little peek.  Gimme a little glimmer of hope!

Oh man, was it a tale of two halves for the Raptors last night!  They were lobbin’ shizz all over the place like they were the Globetrotters against the…  Who do they play again?  That they always beat?  Oh yeah, the Knicks, like they were the Globetrotters against the Knicks.  Kyle Lowry had 9 dimes in the first quarter and Jonas Valanciunas put up 14 points on 7-8 shooting.  Drummo playing uggo!  Kinda a “but his D” lately…  The Luminescent Lithuanian ended up going 14-15 for 31/12/0/0/1.  The FT% is nice (3-4 last night and right at 80% on the year), but his combined – yes COMBINED – Ast/Stl/Blk this year are under 2.  Sigh.  I thought he could turn into something so much more special!  There are some long-term nice things – per-36s he’s cut down a few TO, scoring more, fouls are down – but Casey is playing him lower minutes than last year (and wouldn’t consistently feed him after that hot start) and I don’t know if he’s ever going to be more than a slightly taller Zach Randolph.  And with that, J-Val is all insulted, buttoning up his clothes, and not giving me that flash of hope.  Dammit, I’m my own cockblocker!  Me n Valaciunas are gonna be awkward for a while until safely in the friendzone.  Here’s what else went down on a light night of Monday action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who doesn’t remember Remember the Titans?  “If you have to remind people what the joke in the title is from, it sucks JB!”  Thanks ghost of Grey!  I’ll work on improving the rest of the week if you can sneak in and Hollow Man me a mustache ride.

Hard to believe Remember the Titans is so old.  Who woulda thought Will Patton’s annoying ass daughter would be getting torn apart by some monster Russian boxer.  “I must break you.”   And who woulda thought a guy who had bounced around the D league, played in China, barely played in 2011-12 the last time we saw him in the NBA, would break fantasy basketball waiver wires?!  Hassan Whiteside absolutely tore apart the Clippers Klitschko-style for 23/16/0/2/2 yesterday afternoon, in case you missed it and weren’t watching NBA.  Not like there was any other sport with important games on…  Mr. Whiteside hit 10-13 FG and 3-4 FT (although he’s not the best FT shooter), and most importantly started the second half over Chris Andersen.  Birdman had bid flu with a -17 +/- and Whiteside was brightside for +26.  No disparity there!  And somehow Slim’s Heat won.  I’d be very surprised if Whiteside doesn’t start tomorrow against the Lakers, and he’s leap-frogged a lot of the fringy big men.  Alex Len is so then!  Jordan Hill can take a chill pill!  Jusuf Nurkic can… Nope, he’s still Jamba Jus!  Love my smoothies…  But Hassan is likely a must-own in all leagues.  Hopefully you grabbed him yesterday or can this morning, so your bigs can tear apart your opponents Klitschko-style.  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Wahhhhhhh, I’m Jarrett Jack!”

He’s.  Just.  So.  Sad!  Cheer up, buttercup!  Deron Williams is just plain terrible these days…  Which means starting minutes!

Even though he didn’t set the world on fire last night (16/3/2/1/0), Jack seems to have a stronghold on the Nets starting PG spot.  With the range for treys (one 3PTM the past three games) and a great FT%, Jack is a must-own in all leagues for me.  However, there is a major concern.  The Showcase Showdown!  Brooklyn is trying to pawn Williams off like a bad case of gonorrhea, and sometimes you have to coax out the virus before it goes away!  Hah – let’s hope that’s not true, totally making that up (cough, cough…).  With another bajillion dollars left on D-Will’s contract, the injury-riddled walking kankle is a tough sell.  Then again, maybe keeping him off the bench will protect him from another injury making him go from normally hard to sell to “leave him on the curb and hope someone takes him” hard to sell.  Regardless, most teams even in 10ers should have room for Jack, as I think it’s likely he starts the rest of the season for the soon-to-be rebuilding Nets.  And there’s no one else that’s even waiting in the wings…  So pick up Jack where you can if he’s still out there, if only to cheer him up!  Here’s what else went down last night in Fantasy Basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tracking Rudy Gobert‘s path to the NBA has been movie worthy.  After an accident at his former job at the local steel mill, Rudy had Jon Favreau (he really could be French!) keep his grades up in exchange for Rudy helping Jonny out with the ladies.  Gobert almost gave up on his dream for basketball, but Charles S. Dutton gave a heartfelt speech on BEING REAL!  Utah fans tried carrying Gobert off the court chanting “Rudy!  Rudy!” after that win against the Spurs last Tuesday, but it was a big hazard to the overhead lights.

Derrick Favors‘ ankle turned into a kankle over the weekend, but luckily X-rays were negative and he’s day-to-day.  No reason for the lowly Jazz to throw him out there gimpy.  Monsieur Elbow time!  Filling in for Favors on Friday night, Rudy had one of the best games of his young career for 9/11/4/1/5 shooting 2-2 FG and 5-6 FT.  Followed it up with a start last night next to Enes Kanter for 7/9/0/2/3 in 31 minutes.  Playing with the big boys!  A wingspan that would make a pterodactyl jealous, Gobert should murder blocks for you if you’re able to stream him through the couple starts he’s likely to get this week.  No timetable for Favors, but big men + kankles = John Goodman.  I mean, not good for a speedy return.

Boy did the Fantasy God of Injuries not get enough human sacrifices over the weekend!  This might turn out to be the most depressing NBA recap I’ve ever written.   Stay positive JB!  Stay positive JB!  Thanks inner monologue…  Any other advice to help me get through today’s news?  Well, remember when in Interstellar it looked like there was no hope due to another Dust Bowl, then he just finds the newly incarnated NASA – – Wait, how does any of that make sense, they didn’t know he was alive yet he was their best hope!?  And then there’s that giant plot hole with the planet with the – – it just makes no – – uhughuhguhguhguhgug – – – - F, now my inner monologue is injured…  Here’s how the weekend of death went down in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!

DraftKings is back, and while we don’t have a Razzball Only contest this week (bummer, I know…), we can still all get together and sing some campfire songs over a big contest in the several they run every night!  I wanted to keep it low key, albeit with a big payday, so join me why don’t ya in the NBA $50K Layup!  It’s $2 to play, and pays out a cool, hard $50-grand for the overall winner.  If somebody from Razzball Nation wins, I better get a heavy dose of Crown & Cokes!  I’ll be in there with my jbrazzball moniker, so you can track me as I finish middle of the pack, which has been my normal finish most of the time this year in daily… I’m coming for that payday this Friday though!  If not, I might Drunk Uncle rant after tonight… So click-ity click that link right there, draft your team today, and let’s get some skrilla for Razzball Nation!

Here’s 5 of my picks for tonight’s action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?