Future Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal called it quits over Twitter (and eventually a proper press conference later today) after deciding his nearly 39-year-old body couldn’t withstand an achilles surgery and nine months of rehab. When Boston signed O’Neal a year ago, the strategy was that he’d play sparingly throughout the year and empty the tank on Dwight Howard in the spring if Kendrick Perkins didn’t return to 100 percent.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Shaquille O’Neal
We’re down to the wire now. Toss your burners, Marlowe. With just 10 days left, it’s time to erase the history of what got you here and look only in your immediate future. Unless you’re planning to keep Rudy Gay for next year, dump him.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Sometimes things can get a little snarky here at Razzball. Sometimes? Well, yeah, Italics Baldwin. Sometimes. Uh, and ‘a little snarky’? Just a tad, yeah. What of it? Razzfall? No. You simply misread that one. I clearly typed it Razzball. Bifocal-up, son.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Okay, so it turns out hurling bricks is not as good for Mo Williams‘ hips and groin-ial area as Mo at first thought. He’s out for a while. Frankly, the vagueness of Mo’s injury parallels the vagueness of what part of this dude is even injured.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The biggest bust in the NBA that no one is talking about has got to be Tim Duncan. Well, no. Technically, Boris Diaw‘s bust is the biggest one no one is talking about, but that’s just because he’s sensitive about it.
Please, blog, may I have some more?When I called the first Killers album “crappy,” I was wrong (shoulda saved that opinion for their last two). When I guessed that ‘Lost’ was all in Hurley’s head, I was wrong. When I said that no Ben & Jerry’s flavor could ever top Phish Food, I was wrong (shout out to Americone Dream!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Heat GM Pat Riley was undoubtedly pursuing Erick Dampier ever since it was apparent than Joel Anthony was going to spend the season getting tossed around by the opposition like the losing rooster in a cock fight. I mean, this old man has been wooed harder than the 70-year-old billionaires with profiles on eHarmony.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In hindsight, I should have called this post “Deng Bang.” In a shorter, more recent hindsight, I should not have mentioned the alternate title, so that I could have used it at a later date when Deng goes off again. Ah well.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Minnesota’s Darko Milicic has a 3.6 PER and an ORtg of 58 despite averaging nearly 23 minutes per game to start the season. I honestly didn’t know either of those statistics could get that low. I thought I could walk out onto a pro court wearing a sumo suit and ice skates and earn better than a 3.6 PER.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Shaquille O’Neal officially signed with the Celtics and forced the slightly younger 2003-version of you to blow a gasket at the prospect of Garnett, Allen, Pierce and both O’Neals playing on the same floor. Never mind their age, has a group of black guys ever had a more Irish-appropriate set of names than the guys I just mentioned?
Please, blog, may I have some more?