K-Mart, the retail store I’m talking here, has always been a joke. The one next to campus where I went to college always got robbed and there was always someone with a gun. I know there’s a popular site People of Walmart, which would be pretty interesting for K-Mart too if there ever actually was people in K-Marts. Maybe shoppers there treat the store like Dawn of the Dead. They’re just ducking and covering, and steal supplies stealthily which is why the shelves are always empty. Well I guess they have been in the news recently because of their great Black Friday deals. Hey, if DeMarcus Cousins can’t shoot better than 1-10 or 2-10 like he has in the last two ganes, he might be in one of the lines. ”We’re moving to Seattle, but we’re not taking you!” Good thing the NBA version’s of K-Mart showed he isn’t completely chapter 11, going a respectable 16 Pts (4-6 FG 3-5 3PTM) 4 Rebs 4 Asts and 2 Stls. Hey I just said Kevin Martin wasn’t bankrupt… Not that he is suddenly on fire! Damn K-Mart (the smoldering store). Most rebounds since Jan. 9th, first 30+ min game in 7 games, and luckily he’s still in the OKC mix. Only two games last night, but let’s check out what went down:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Everyone saw it coming. Everyone had it circled on their calendar. The epic in-state rivalry of the NBA’s best team going for their 16th straight win playing at home against… the second-worst team in the NBA. Of course it would be a nail-biter! The Heat went up big, but the Magic went on a 46-21 run and kept it tight until LeBron James’ game-winning layup. Good thing Nikola Vucevic had fouled out so there were no shot blockers left. The Magic certainly didn’t put a spell on the refs, racking up 30 fouls and two foul-outs to the Heat’s 17. Conspiracy! The Magic fouls were illusions! You don’t have time for my illusions! Tricks are what whores do for money. Or cocaine. LeBron better get some nice wedding presents from those home refs. You think Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert got invited? Be funny if Lebron sent him an invite with a -1. This is a fantasy basketball blog right? Hah, let’s get into the numbers from last night’s games:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Morning Razzball Nation!
If you missed it yesterday in my inaugural post breaking down the NBA Trade Deadline, I’m your new Razzball Basketball chief editor and fantasy basketball overlord. Hope I can bring ya the goods!
If you missed the games last night, and lets be honest, they weren’t exactly much-watch TV, you missed the Heat trounce the Bulls 86-67 and the Spurs romp the Clippers 116-90. 67 Chicago? Two more and and Lil Wayne would’ve found his dreads on Chris Bosh’s wife’s legs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Over the past week, Matt Barnes is averaging 13 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 blocks. Can you dig it? Even a one armed prospector could dig it. I also humorously confused the names of Harrison Barnes and Matt Barnes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night, O.J. Mayo finished with 4 points on 1-7 shooting (1-5 from downtown), with 3 boards, 5 assists, 1 steal, 1 block and 6 turnovers. Before that game, he was averaging 8.8 points per game, down from 19.3 on the season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Over the past week, he is averaging 13 PPG, nearly 8 RPG and over 2 BPG. Yes, my friends, Kosta Koufos is on a roll recently. On Chinese Food & A Movie Day, Koufos had a double doubke with 16/10 and a perfect 8-8 in shooting.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Saturday night, I was in a German shop which sold a variety of imports, from marzipan to steins to cuckoo clocks. As I was eyeballing the clocks on the wall, the shop keeper came up to me to chat. As my companion asked about maintenance of the clocks, he noted that like anything made in Germany, if you take good care of it, it will last a thousand years.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Drummond exploded with Christmas cheer off the bench last night with 11 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks in just 21 minutes. Holy night! Come they played him, pa rum pum pum pum. Aaan-dre Druuum-moond, pa rum pum pum pum.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In Kyrie Irving’s first game back from injury, he helped the Cavs beat the Lakers. Surprised? You shouldn’t be, because the Lakers stink right now. Now a confession… the headline was lying. Now are you surprised? Irving punished the Lakers going 28/6/11/1 with four 3PM and shooting 11-21 from the field. Now that he has shaken off the rust, we should expect him to score 100 points in his next game. Sorry that’s irrational me. Rational me says if you own Irving then be very happy, and if you traded for him, then make fun of the owner that traded him to you immediately. Like right now. DO IT NOW. Yikes!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kris Humphries (3/4/0 with 2 blocks) fouled Kevin Garnett (16/10/1) somewhat hard (his flopping made it look worse than it was). Rajon Rondo (6/1/3 with 2 steals) took exception to the contact, and since NBA players are mature, emotionally well-adjusted individuals, a brawl ensued, resulting in the ejection of Humpy and Rondo.Please, blog, may I have some more?