Another week, another rash of injuries to some of the NBA’s top players. All-Star Chris Bosh was admitted into a hospital last week with flu-like symptoms. Unfortunately, his diagnosis was much worse than initially thought. On Friday, doctors diagnosed him with a blood clot in his lung and Bosh will miss the remainder of the season. Bosh is safe to drop in redraft leagues and isn’t the only player to have their season cut short to blood clots. Brooklyn Nets forward Mirza Teletovic also has blood clots in his lungs. Left untreated, blood clots can cause sudden death, like what happened to former-Trail Blazer Jerome Kersey.

Bosh is expected to be out of commission for at least six months, as he’s on blood thinners to address the blood clot. Blood thinners will make it easier for him to bleed, hence why he won’t be able to play contact basketball for a while.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[We’ve got the Trade Deadline Podcast up!  Slim and I react to all this hooblah as this post continues to be updated – you can find the Pod the post below this one as well as that link.]

Razzball Nation!

The Trade Deadline is nigh, which is to say, soon.  Can I trade the start of this open with a different one…?  “Did you hear the one about how the Hawks got nothing for the broke ass of Josh Smith last trade deadline?!”  Imagine the Hawks with a lottery pick as well…  I guess as fortune-tellers, they knew they didn’t need anything for Smoove!

The 2015 NBA Trade Deadline will pass at 3:00 PM EST, and up until the closing moments, I’ll be updating this post as each trade moves across my virtual news desk.  Fantasy spins galore!  That’s the younger sister of Pussy Galore…  So be sure to constantly ping that refresh like Goldfinger on Kitco!  Here’s what’s gone down so far:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last year, I think Jonas Valanciunas might have won the “most annoying player for JB” award.  Eh, Jeff Green was up there too…  But we’ve got a clear front-runner for 14-15!

If you had money on Brandon Jennings racking up the first double dimebag of the season, then all praise be onto you!  Great game against the Magic, as he gashed their “defense” for a 24/0/21/0/0 line.  Pretty empty to me, only two cats in there!  First 20-assist game this season, doubling up the dimebags and making BJ’s value as high as Katt Williams.  You’re probably looking like this as a Jennings owner right now!  He’s only the 4th guy to put up a 20/20 game since 2000, and I guess all my sell Jennings high hooblah is looking a little dumb now…  I still think if you can get one of the higher-tier guys like a Jeff Teague you have to do it, but otherwise I guess it’s a strong hold and ride the wave.  Upside of two dimebags on any given night?!  That’s a friend you need to keep for life!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Brandon Jennings is terrible.

I pretty much wanted to kill the open right there, but “journalistic integrity” or whatever…  In a horrific shooting display, BJ flat out sucked for 5-18 shooting and it was equally as painful to watch as Josh Smith at shootaround.  A few fadeaway treys, bricked layups… You name it.  I honestly think a big part of the Pistons game plan right now is have BJ shoot like a hot dog, and rely on the O-boards from Andre Drummond and Greg Monroe.  Drummo’s OREB gave me an O-face last night, that’s for sure!  Racked up 7 OREB and Monroe had 5, and I’m guessing almost all of those came on BJ’s bricks.  If terrible shots leading to OREB and putbacks counted as assists, Jennings would be John Stockton.  Of course, sometimes there’s some Flubber on the ball and it goes in, but this is an immense sell-high window.  Probably a Sportscenter Top-10 layup, and has been playing fairly well lately.  Even D.J. Augustin at 8-18 FG 19/0/5 couldn’t get Stan Van to flip-flop PG down the stretch.  We’re used to seeing flip-flops!  Stan Van coaching like Laguna Beach.  Jennings is a big name on the trading block as well, and the Pistons aren’t hesitant to give players away, as in cutting J Smoove.  One rumor I read was Houston…  They would be the worst shooting team in NBA history!  Success for Houston would obviously be bringing in two guys from a former 5-23 team… Then again, the Pistons just won on the road in San Antonio for their 6th straight, and they are – you won’t believe this – now 3.5 games out of a playoff spot in the East.  Hah!  Trade or no trade, labradoodle-city Jennings could probably fetch an interesting ransom in the fantasy market as this current run is unsustainable.  Here’s what else went down in last night’s two games:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Slam Dunk Contest winners scare me.

There’s pretty much no in between with these dudes. Other than, say, Nate Robinson, they’re either future all-stars or total duds. For every Michael Jordan there’s a Harold Miner. For every Kobe Bryant there’s a Fred Jones. For every Dominque Wilkins, there’s a Brent Barry.

And then there’s Gerald Green, who is definitely not an NBA jobber, but is not quite an all-star yet. Not really sure if he ever will be, and what scares me most is that while he was a pretty awesome dunker, he’ll always be known as a gimmick dunker for his Birthday Cake Dunk. And being a gimmick dunker is kind of like being a gimmick wrestler on the order of Koko B. Ware or the Gobbledy Gooker.

In a way, it would be interesting if Green never was an all-star, because he wouldn’t be the first 6-7-ish wing sixth man for the Suns who can run the floor, shoot from distance, was on the same team as Jeff Hornacek and never made the All-Star Team.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hey Kobe, I’m open, I’m open!”  That’s every Laker…

Despite the plausibility that the Lakers are a real NBA team, they once again proved the contrary with yet another blowout loss.  Well, I guess they’ve been in some games, but c’mon!  Kobe Bryant is trying to do everything himself, like an asexual chronic masturbator.  15-34 FG last night (3-12 3PTM 11-16 FT) for 44/5/3/0/0.  After a 1-14 brickhouse Friday night, that’s a 16-48 weekend (33%).  At least Sunday was good!  Ish.  Most concerning are those treys, going 3-17 from deep in both games.  He’s never been a good three-point shooter, especially the past four years.  Glasses anyone?   Russell Westbrook has got a guy…

As I’m sure Kobe would appreciate to no end, I have a comp for him.  Dwight Howard.  Hah!  Mostly kidding, but Kobe is Dwight-ing (new adjective) your FG%.  In H2H it’s not a paramount concern, but in Roto it’s getting scary.  I don’t know what you do about it except try to trade Kobe high to a team at the top of your FG% standings.  Then let Kobe and that ridiculous volume sink them like the whole Purple and Gold franchise.  I keed of course!  There’s just nothing there.  Like hairs on Carlos Boozers‘ head or anatomy on Ken’s crotch.  Kobe vs. NO tonight, 5-on-1!  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So when I approached JB about returning to the Razzball fold, my first suggestion was to do something on wing players. As any veteran fantasy hoops junkie knows, the dudes with the SG/SF designation are superly dooperly useful. Most teams have multiple non-PG and non-PF slots, plus you have the UTIL slots. Old-timers have some fond memories of crazy Latrell Sprewell, a member of the Wing Hall of Fame, and conveniently forgetting how he choked P.J. Carlesimo so you didn’t feel bad about clicking him into your lineup.

Anyway, some other ideas were floated to JB, but he wouldn’t give up on the wings. I began to wonder if his obsession with the concept had anything to do with basketball.

It started with an email where JB confessed to being hungry for wings, then continued with mentions of wing sauce, wing hotness, wing bones, wing grease on hairy chests, wing-covered women’s underwear, and then finally an email in 200-point type that said “ME LIKE WINGS” with this image attached:


Finally, I got the memo, so here we are.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In case you haven’t noticed I’ll go ahead and state the obvious, I don’t like to lose.  What’s that?  You don’t either?  Good, because it’s that time of year once again when we find out just what lengths we’ll go to to insure an early playoff victory.  Can you drop a player who’s been one of your most productive for months?  It’s easy when they’re injured but when you start to see your season about to end can you let the better player walk to gamble on a player with more games?  I can’t make that life altering decision for you but I can offer you a few words of counsel.

First, I ask that you confess your most shameful of fantasy sins, not to me but to yourself.  If you drafted Tristan Thompson and ignored all the warnings then you need to first come to grips with that before you can proceed.  This will be the internal struggle that not until you have accepted will you truly find peace.  Secondly, you must accept that none of us can do this little thing called life, or fantasy basketball, all by ourselves.  There was once and still are people there to guide me and as I write I pass this knowledge on to you.  I know one day you will continue this circle of life and pass the knowledge on to the next generation of fake basketballers.  And third, only you can make the decision to turn your life, or roster, over with this new found knowledge.  In other words, if you post your login/password below I will not make the move for you.  Now my apprentice go forth with this knowledge of weekend streamers and bring us back word of your glorious victory.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ohhhhh, fringe-fantasy worthy Duke players…  I’m not a fan!  Belle Knox isn’t a fan!  Is she fringe-fantasy worth?  Plausibly.  Whilst you search her in Incognito mode, Kyle Singer went all multi-cat in a near-rainbow explosion for 11/7/3/5/1.  He even stole DeMarcus Cousins‘ parking spot!  Fight, fight!  While I’m not necessarily the biggest Singler fan (which I’m sure you can ascertain by the title and if you’ve read all year), he does have something going for him that all Lakers and Bucks would give their left nut for.  Consistent minutes.  After the All-Star break, Singler is averaging 34 minutes a game.  And hey, he needs every single[r] one of them to stay fantasy relevant.  Burn!  But relevant indeed, as his slash in that time is 11.7/3.1/1.6/1.1/0.6.  Not setting the world on fire, but for your fringe-guys – especially in weekly leagues – giving you a little of something is better than a lot of nothing.  Award winning advice right there!  Along with the multi-cat, is at 1.5 treys and 82% FT shooting since the break.  Dibbling in this, dabbling in that, and next thing you know he’s someone you trust more than, I dunno, maybe even Brandon Jennings who couldn’t find the hole last night.  “Tie in a joke from the beginning, tie in a joke from the beginning!”  Shut up 13-year-old inner monologue!  Here’s what else I saw in NBA action from last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve all been guilty of it at one point or another.  Maybe the great ones, you know, someone like The Dude, haven’t been guilty of trying to look into the future.  For us mere mortals life isn’t so easy that all we need to do is throw on our best pair of Birkenstocks and face the day as it comes to us.  At this time of year in fantasy, it’s time to forget about the prospects and focus on the here and now.  There aren’t any September call-ups… wait, where are you all going?  Baseball hasn’t started yet.  Fine, go, be gone with you then!  Ahem…  For those of us still playing for a championship – ohhh *snaps fingers* out of the playoffs burn!  Excuse me.  For those of us still playing for championships, *smirk*, we can’t afford to worry about the what ifs, we can only concern ourselves now with the what has, so here are my weekend streamers of who wills:

Please, blog, may I have some more?