Captain N is aboard! Captain on the bridge! The respect he garners trumps captain Russell Crowe with long hair… Captain Patrick Stewart with no hair… Captain N has a huge ass flat top! And this captain is Nerlens Noel; double the N for twice the… nifty…? Twice the… neat hair? This captain will put non-believers 20,000 leagues under the sea! Here’s my top 75 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
…And we’re here! Finally wrapping up a recap of the top 100 and how much I hated Andre Drummond coming into the year. It’s not my fault! He still can’t hit free throws! Aherm, cough, I think I’m going to miss today’s class with the flu.
So far, and I’m not just saying this for my ego, I think I did the Nation better than I expected. Sure there were swing-and-misses – I’m not Biff from Back to the Future Part II! But it’s been a great learning experience recapping my ranks, and our loyal, bearded Slim comes in with his grades. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season. Slim then recaps JB’s best ranks in the 101-200 range and worst. Giannis Antetokounmpo for MVP! To keep it unbiased, Slim picked the best 4 and worst 4, so we’ll have to see who he goes with… Here’s a look back at the Top 100 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If Samuel Dalembert was drafted in your league this year, I’m guessing it was late. He was taken 12th in one of my leagues, and in the Razzball Dynasty League he was taken with the 176th pick for $6.
If Gorgui Dieng was drafted in your league this year, I’m guessing it was by a Louisville alum or a native of Senegal. He wasn’t taken in any of my leagues, including the Razzball Dynasty League.
Yet if you had Sammy D. or Dieng on your roster this week, you did very well in your playoff matchup. And if you had both, I’d be willing to wager you won.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twas the first night of the playoffs, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even Eddie House. Wait, I can’t rhyme house and House. At least I would think not, I tried to tell my buddies who listen to rap that Rick Ross’ “Everyday I’m Hustlin” is lazy because he rhymes Atlantic with Atlantic. “But they are different uses of Atlantic!” Pssssh. Wow, way off track. The playoff brackets were hung on the league sites with care, all in hopes St. Terrence Jones would be there. And be there he was! “Stop it with all the Christmas shizz, it’s March already!” Don’t start a war on Christmas with me, intolerable commenter! Dwight Howard was a late scratch with an ankle, and while we all know TJones starts anyway, it opened a bigger void for the TJ. TJ Entered the Void. Lots of minutes for the TJ. 38 in fact, for 30/5/1/1/4 hitting three treys and not having a single TO. Now, before you go crazy sauce on me, remember this was against a defending force of Marvin Williams and Enes Kanter. Jones got whatever he wanted. The Jazz were singing to him like Selena Gomez. Oh man, wow, sad that I know that… Anyway, Dwight will be back for the Rox next game on Thursday and I’m not ready to snatch up TJ really any differently that I was before. We all know his upside and the situation was ripe – this was against a terrible team and an influx of minutes from a last second scratch. I think TJ could easily disappoint his next few given his sparse usage when Dwight returns. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The injury bug hath claimed another victim, with LaMarcus Aldridge suffering a tough fall in San Antonio on his lower back/coccyx. What are you doing to us fantasy gods?! While reports right now is it was only a lower back contusion, you never want to hear “needed a wheelchair to get around the arena.” Unless you’re Professor X! Yikes. As Slim is putting out early this afternoon, the Blazers have a mammoth of a 5-week slate coming up in the second week of the playoffs. So if you’re an Aldridge owner, I would just thank my blessings, or count my lucky stars, or something like that, if L.A. can indeed give you all five of those. In the immediacy, Thomas Robinson looks like an interesting pickup for some flashy upside. “Oh camon JB, Thomas Robinson again!?” Yup! And I said it last time and he had a 14/18/2/0/2 in there! I serious doubt Aldridge will suit up again this week, giving T-Rob some serious run. We’ll obviously get some more detailed updates throughout the day, so sacrifice a shot of rum to Jobu, or rub your bunions against the carpet, whatever you do to appease the fantasy gods to get a healthy Aldridge back for the postseason. Here’s what else went down in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, a busy day yesterday in hoops! The obvious first mention is GO HEELS! Oh man, I feel like storming the court today. I think Chapel Hill fans everywhere this morning should storm their office/classroom/crowded area in a flash mob at some point. Then we have LeBron James getting his nose broken by Serge A Broke-a! The mayor of Cleveland has already issued Serge Ibaka a key to the city. Fine LeBron $5,000 for flopping! Man, the next round of internet videos of “LeBroning” are going to be a lot more like “The Knockout Game”. Seriously, even LeBron haters have to love he got it broke a step or two out before throwing it down. Word still to come if the nose is indeed broken, but my money is on yes. Regardless, we’ve seen a few players come back from a broken nose in the same game donning the Hannibal mask, so I doubt he misses any time after passing concussion tests last night. MaskBron! And then we had the trade deadline come and go, with nothing too major albeit a few surprises. I’m starting a bit off the reservation with a guy I’m going to pump hard and is a pickup now in 12-teamers. Lord Byron Mullens! After trading their former starting 5 which we’ll get in below, it’s Mullens and Arnett Moultrie manning down the C fort in the abandon ship Sixers front line, with Mullens picked up for draft picks. I know Mullens is boring, but he was usable while with the Bobcats posting a 10.6/6.4/1.5/0.6/0.6 line with 1.2 treys in 27 minutes a game in 12-13. His sub-40 FG% blew, sure, but he’s a perimeter shooter who can play decent D so I think he will get run. He’s a lot better than Moultire in my opinion and I think will get big minutes. And I don’t know why, maybe it’s because he looks so goofy or maybe because he’s been in the league 5 years, but Mullens is actually only 25 when I thought he might be 30. For a team tanking, he’s a perfect acquisition to help rack up points to try and fill maybe 2 more seats a night in Philly. “Thanks for coming Mr. and Mrs. Mullens!” Here’s what else went down yesterday, starting with NBA deadline deals:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In case you missed it (and let’s face it, who’s watching Bobcats games?), Kemba Walker had a scary ankle roll Saturday night and will miss 10-14 days. He’s gonna need a walker for a while after that! Cricket cricket, cricket cricket. “That’s not funny JB, it’s just cruel…” So what if I have Cruel Intentions?! Now I wanna make out with Selma Blair… So what if I’m not Sarah MG (I didn’t even want to bother Googling that be sure I had it spelled right…)?! This is way off the rails… Back to Walker, he’s a guy that relies on speed and explosiveness, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the full two weeks and even more. Cue the Ramon Sessions puns! As a North Carolinian, I guess I am more a
Hornets Bobcats fan than any other team, so I may be biased, but I like Sessions and think he can be a decent stream the next two weeks in 12-teamers that need a desperate solid starter. He’s an emergency Sessions! Hey that’s the title! In 38 minutes against the Heat, Ramon went 16/3/5 shooting 6-10 and 4-4 from the stripe. The 5 TOs are no fun, he does turn the ball over a tad too much, but I think the underrated aspect of his game is he constantly gets to the stripe and shoots good FT%. He’s at 3.4 makes a game at 79% this year, after being at 83% the previous two seasons. And last year when he was at 27 minutes a game (22 per thus far in 13-14), he hit 4.8 FTs a game. He’ll easily get low-to-mid 30 minutes per contest while Walker, Texas Ranger is out, so if you need some scoring, dimes, and that sweet boost of FT shooting in a tough matchup this week or next, or to pad those stats in roto, Sessions is in sess… Eh, well you get it… Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball:
There’s gotta be a hardcore Spurs fan in your league, or someone who appreciates the classics, or someone who doesn’t realize that Tim Duncan is 37 years old, or someone who doesn’t care, or, best of all, someone who has been hit hard by injuries and is in dire need of a big man.
Because if you find that dude, you want to offer Timmy D. to him right now.
Duncan has once again defied the odds with near-All-Star numbers. Yeah, he’s scoring a few points less, but his rebounds (9.8 per) and his blocks (around 2 bpg) are right where they have been the past few years.
While these numbers are all fine and dandy, the best power forward of all time is great trade bait because of what he’s been up to lately. Just last week he had a vintage, turn-back-the-clock game with a 24-17-2 at Memphis. After a bit of a rebounding slump, he posted three-straight games with double-digit boards, and just last night he snuffed four shots against the T-Wolves.Please, blog, may I have some more?