The Finals are here (well for RCL and most standard H2H leagues)!  And if you’re like me, and you didn’t have Kevin Durant or LeBron James on any of your teams and got knocked out, it’s baseball time!  Shameless plug!  Starting next Monday, you can check out my Pitcher Profiles if you’re about to hopscotch to baseball as well.  To those of you still in your fantasy basketball playoffs, I HATE YOU!  Haha just kidding.  It was a whirlwind of sports going on over the weekend: rounding out my baseball drafts/opening night, whittling down to the Final Four in March Madness, Hank Dobson’s Mini-Mart and Country performing on the uneven parallel bars in the Independent Nations Games.  A wild time.  But what sparked my eye, or ruffled my gander, or something like that the hardest was D.J. Augustin going career-high on us with 33 Pts.  Ended his night with a 33/1/3/1/0 line shooting 10-14 (3-4 3PTM 10-10 FT) in a %s dominatrix.  My safe word is “gimme more assists!”  A huge Sunday sendoff and a big bounce back from that Turd Ferguson earlier in the week against the Pacers.  He’s a guy I bet a lot of scuffling teams dropped while streamboating in the playoffs and should be owned in your title run.  Not to be confused with your “tittie run”, which might be the most enjoyable 5K anyone could come up with it.  Here’s what else I saw over the busy weekend in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve made it this far, you are about to head into the championship match week, or perhaps your semi finals. Wait, whut? There are a smattering of leagues only starting their playoffs now?? Madness. In March. Hmmm… that’s catchy, should try to remember that one.

I digress. You gotta get your game-face on, your heart rate up! Go to your bathroom, turn up your volume,  and listen to some inspiring music while mean-mugging in the mirror, it’s go time! As for me, I acknowledge that if you are indeed in the big dance, you probably don’t need me too much. To paraphrase Vince Vaughn in Swingers: “My baby’s all growed up!!” That said, should you may have to replace an injured cat or two, may I suggest the following:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be ThrAGNOF!  Full disclosure – I had to look up this song from that movie about a weird looking ginger chick and it’s about coming of age or something.  No, not Teeth!  Last night, an injury-ravaged, de-taloned Pelicans went out and shocked the Clippers.  Kevin Hart, apparently a big Clippers fan, got to travel with LA on a Ride Along I’m guessing.  When Jamal Crawford upchucked a three at the buzzer for the win, that arced so high it might’ve hit the Cowboys Stadium scoreboard, Hart started crying when it barely hit rim and got angrier than his little cameo in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Anyway – Anthony Morrow was a big factor in the upset win, going full-ThrAGNOF 27/5/0/0/1 with two treys.  Scoring is the name of his game!  Always a high-volume shooter, Morrow just has never stuck in a big role as he doesn’t do anything else.  Dude, if he was on a D’Antoni Lakers team, he might break the NBA!  With Brian Roberts with a bruised knee, Eric Gordon with an absence of knees, and Austin Rivers with the sniffies, the Pels were without three of their bigger remaining scorers.  Looking ahead to tomorrow, the Pelicans get a beignet of a matchup against the former New Orleans Jazz and all three could miss again.  So if you need some treys and a little scoring upside in the deeper leagues, it’s that time of year when the scrubs will come out tomorrow!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last night might have been an utter low for the New York Knickerbockers.  Haha, yup they get a full name scolding like your mom used to do.  Got shellacked by the Lakers by 31, in another horrific TNT Overtime fail.  It’s funny that the Lakers were involved in another redonkulous blowout this month:  One because the first was also on TNT OT when the Clippers beat them by, I dunno a million (?), and second because I had the following remarks on Xavier Henry, whom I call Wheels, three-ish week ago after that Clips blowout: “I dunno, I just have a weird feeling he is going to be fantasy-relevant even in shallower leagues in a few weeks because D’Antoni likes him.  And why not give him minutes again on this team?”  And that’s me quoting me!  It’s been a little up-and-down, and Wheels is a bit of a ThrANOF, but 8-11 (3-4 3PTM 3-5 FT) 22/3/0/2/1 last night.  Only 23 minutes (and oddly enough 23:20 exactly in the past two games), but mid-20 minutes seems about right the rest of the way.  He can easily score mid-teens, get a couple swipes, and nab a trey for you.  Jodie Meeks-lite, if you will.  I think even in 12-teamers he’s worth a look right now for the remainder of the week with three games left on the slate that all are pretty saucy (@MIL, @MIN, PHX).  And another 4-gamer next week with good matchups.  I just picked him up myself as I hope to slip by the Slippery Squirrels in my RCL playoffs.  Need more points and only up one in steals.  Go JB HUMAN!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yet another start for the Gorgui Apparatus, with Gorgui Dieng going all out with a Goromotaro!  I have to say, definitely the most unexpected Goromotaro since the term was coined.  22/21/4/1/0 and double-doubles in his last three games.  Except this was a double double-double.  There’s so many Ds in that sentence you’d think I was daydreaming about Tyra Banks!  And while Gorgui is out proving that he’s America’s Next Top C, what are doing right now in crunch time of fantasy?  He’s a tough guy to leave on the wire, but the Wolves only have Sunday left this week, and Nikola Pekovic is traveling with the team.  Pek is questionable, but Dieng has given the team every excuse to keep the youngun out there with pretty much no realistic expectations to make the playoffs.  So unless you’ve got a bye with a real scrub and you can stash Gorgui and hope for another big upside game, or your line-up is virtually full Friday and Saturday, you’re probably letting him ride in 10 or 12ers H2H.  Roto he’s worth a spin and if you’re crushing it in week 1 of the playoffs, maybe worth a stache as well.  Oh no, Grey has me daydreaming about baseball!  Mmmmm, Tyra Banks and baseball.  Get out of my head Grey!  What will be really interesting next year is what the Wolves do up front with Kevin Love having an uncertain future and Pek a FA.  Dieng would probably be a really flashy flyer if he projects to start.  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh man, was last night fun!  So much to hit on including a certain player going against his former team, but I want to start with two career-first triple doubles.  On the same night!  And on a night with only five games no less… First stop is Isaiah Thomas, who, and I mean this without sounding like I’m succumbing to a cliche about his size or anything, looked like the only dude who cared for the whole game on either the Wiz or the Kings.  I loved me some IT2 with the rankings before free agency, and really pimped him hard when Greivis Vasquez got sent off – as many sources did.  Regardless, everyone was right, he’s been a beast and went 24/11/10 with 10-10 FT and two treys.  And to top off the abuse of John Wall, Wall was 2-6 at the stripe missing pivotal freebies late.  My Wizards friend stopped texting me at the end.  I’m guessing he threw his phone through a Wall.  I capitalize that because he has a John Wall fathead on his wall.  Anyway, Paul Millsap also hopped in the trip-dub booze cruise for a 19/13/10 line.  Hopefully your fantasy teams own one or both of these guys and faced neither.  Nothing would be more annoying than marginally losing Rebs to an IT2 owner!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action (and don’t forget to fill out a bracket in our Razzball March Madness pool!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yup, bringing that back!  Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest.  Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes.  Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line.  This is what I envisioned all season!  I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year.  It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners.  If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship.  So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home.  ”Thanks Mrs. H…”  My name is JB!  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning.  And snuck in the end!  I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars.  ”Wait, why is he winning best picture!  So confused right now…”  Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win…  And that’s a problem!  Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week.  But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too!  After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO.  I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO.  BOOM!  Double sports joke.  The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played.  Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add.  So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music.  And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just like I was telling JB a few days ago, there just isn’t enough time left.  He doesn’t have enough time to prepare for the coming zombie apocalypse just like I don’t have enough time to tell you a story loosely based on fictional people and places.  My goal is to ensure everyone reading this makes the playoffs in their leagues and there isn’t enough time to talk about underground bunkers and if George A. Romero was really a psychic time traveler who had come from the future to teach us how to stop the coming apocalypse.  Instead here are 12, wait, 1,2,3… yeah, 12 widely available weekend streamers that I think could swing a close match in your favor.  Who you need all depends on how you’re doing against your opponent and be they a Romero zombie, a 28 days later zombie, or even Billy Connolly, then maybe an add from this list can help you survive one more week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wow, what a wild night across the NBA-osphere.  Tons of injuries, lots of scrubs getting some burn, if I didn’t know better, I woulda though it was late March.  But no!  I guess we can start with that other JB as Jerryd Bayless moved into the starting line-up and lit up the Hawks for a season-high 29 Pts.  Shooting 12-21, it was pretty ThrAGNOFfy for 29/2/2/1/0 with 5 treys.  Why you avoid the 3-point specialists on draft day!  Who knows what preppy-boy Brad Stevens is going to do next, and while getting the Pacers on Saturday isn’t a great matchup, home games vs. GS, BKN, then DET next week could be a 10 3PTM week for JB.  And while he’s not as multi-cat as the real JB over here, we can all grab the band if we need some scoring.  I’ll wear a headband as well for the moral support!  Here’s what else went down on a very busy night of injuries and surprise games in the NBA:

Please, blog, may I have some more?