Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a brothel. The Priest says to the Rabbi… Wait, why are you laughing? You’ve heard it before. That’s probably a good thing anyway because I might have been banned from the internet if I repeated it here. Witty punchlines and non sequiturs aside the point remains unchanged. No matter what our age, sex, or religion happens to be, we can’t just hope things are going to get better. We need to prepare for the future. For myself that means maintaining my perfectly quaffed facial hair with treatments of only the finest oils and herbs from the orient. For JB, and he might get mad at me for telling you this, but he has this pink rubber bowl looking thing. It has a wooden handle at the top and after about 5-10 minutes with that in the bathroom I swear he comes out looking taller. Definitely more confident. Still though – even the giants will shrink to the size of us mere mortals one day. In fantasy basketball – as in real life – we can’t sit back and hope we are the next giants to be. In a dynasty league, when our season is lost, that means selling off our older, declining players, and buying stock in the future. Since we here at Razzball endorse insider trading, here is my take on a few future blue chippers:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we mentioned a few months ago, the Philadelphia 76ers D is bad. Like D League bad. They could use some D league! At one point, they were close to 8 points a game worse than the the 29th worst team defense. But with the Lakers having all sorts of problems, they’ve entered the bottom feeders with Philly giving up a league worst 109.9 a game, LA now 29th at 106.2, then third is at 103.8. Suffice to say – soft D. Kinda like in the word djent. Any metal fans out there? Or in Django Unchained. The big benefactor last night was another huge game from Jeff Green, who shot 11-18 (5-7 3PTM 9-12 FT) for 36/8/2/0/2. Should’ve been doing this all year! Green had that even bigger 39-point outburst two weeks ago against the Wizards, so that’s two biguns sandwiched with cold cuts of bleh. Kinda like a $5 footlong when you choose meatball but have to eat it later… Stevens said a couple of days ago that they need to get Green the ball in the post and in transition more. I guess that equals making 5 of your 7 threes! Hah. While I do think Green will be better, and the return and minutes exansion of Rajon Rondo to help create better oppotunies will help, if you can get some really solid top-60ish value in a sell-high, run and do it. You may be saying, “top-60, this JB is reaching too high!” Heading into the year, ranked 63 in Yahoo and ESPN at 58! And I had him at… Yeah I don’t wanna talk about it. So getting draft day value at 100% would be very nice. Much lower than that and I’m still holding. Here’s what else I saw on a busy night of NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I love the second half of the season, because, let’s face it, while the first half is enjoyable, it’s too damn long. The games mean something, we all know this, but the real drama, the anticipation, is building now. And in the NBA, the races start to really amp up the drama, like adding hot sauce to your wings. Much like the drama in the Random Commenter Leagues, it’s starting to get spicy. What remains to be seen, is whether your team is the Philly Sixers (waa-waaaanh) or the Indy Pacers (who-hooo!) in the relative landscape of fantasy. To see where you fit in the global landscape, check out the master standings . Shall we take a looksy right now?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Lakers and dear ol’ coach Doh-toni are just an absolute mess right now. And just to make things even more interesting, there are injuries, mystery, intrigue, vets returning, and a scheme to divert water reservoir rights. With Pau Gasol out for two weeks with a bum groin and a good chance out of L.A. before the trade deadline, this whole team is turning into the end of Chinatown. ”Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown!” And you really can forget pretty much everyone on this team right now, as three vets returned, two guys got hurt, and it’s turning into a bigger Hollywood disaster than The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I bet Norbit could play PF for the purple and gold! Since going through everything that happened for the crumbling Lakers would be an 800-word paragraph, let’s hop out of the open and machine gun through em, plus what else happened last night in the world of fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Week 14 has wrapped up in our Razzball Elite league, and we’ve finally got a shake-up atop the standings. Feeling a lot less nature-y this past week with a 4-5 loss to Scurry to the Left, The Nature Boy is now tied for first with Kap’s Team. But even more exciting was my first huge win! No hangover from the beard ride Slim gave me last week… We shouldn’t have made “didgeri-don’t” the safe word! Only six weeks of the regular season remain, so it’s crunch time for the teams out of the top 6. Read more below from owners that chimed in on their squads as we recap week 14:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I might be making this up, but doesn’t Denver play the Flavor Flav “Yeah Boy!” when Randy Foye hits a three? Well I hope they do! After a brutal Super Bowl for the Broncos (and America), the Denver populous got some slight redemption with Foye hitting this buzzer-beater last night. Sportscenter! But even with that game-winner, Foye had a rainbow flirt of 14/7/4/1/2. That’s not ThrAGNOF! Even with Ty Lawson back, Foye is rackin’ up multi-cat!? I haven’t been a big Foye fan for shallower leagues this year – I thought he was constantly overvalued – but getting 16 dimes in his previous game then a nice all-around line last night with Ty-Ty back; I think I’m a little more a believer. Sure it’s only one game against a fast-paced Clippers team, but 40+ minutes yet again last night and now in three straight games and Foye is looking pretty locked in for good value right now. Owned in 57% of Yahoo leagues seems a little thin. Show ya Foye a little Flavor of Love. Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve seen it time and again in this year of NBA action, which has looked more like an episode of “E.R.” wrapped inside a scene from “Grey’s Anatomy” inside Nurse Jackie’s scrubs than it has the FAN-tastic exhibition of athletic excellence constructed by now-ex-commish David Stern.
The injury domino effect has wreaked havoc everywhere in real life, wrecking players’ seasons, sending some teams into tank mode while helping other teams tank.
In the fantasy world, the impact of these boo-boos has been equally killer for some owners and the big ones don’t even need to be listed. You all know ‘em.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Super Bowl Sunday was a fail across the board. Joe Namath messed up the coin toss. The Red Hot Chili Peppers refuse to wear shirts. The Broncos refused to play football. And the only game we got on the NBA slate to rival the Super Fail was the Magic against the Celtics. A combined 28-68 record heading into the game, but hey, at least no one was wearing this coat! Russell Westbrook now has a wardrobe to makeover… Anywho, it was an electric 27 minutes for Rajon Rondo, who had his best game since returning. 9-11 from the field for a 19/6/10/3/0 slash can get anyone rolling. Well, except maybe the Broncos offense… Hopefully Rondo won a few people their matchups this week and their Sundays weren’t ruined by all that food and beer turning into absolute lethargy like I’m feeling right now. But alas we have fantasy’s best sport to pull us through the soul-sucking quicksand that was the Super Bowl as we grow nearer and nearer the playoffs. Here’s what else I saw this weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last time I’m gonna mention it, I’m not a masochist, but last week, I suggested that Terrance Ross should be dropped. Well, I think he may read my smelly little article, because homeboy went off for 51 with 10 treys, making me look a fool. Well, to Terrance I say: “I don’t need any help looking like a fool, thank you very much!” I think I won that joust. But in all seriousness, there’s a good lesson to be learned here: never drop slam dunk winners! Wait, whut? No, Daniel-san, the real lesson is no matter how good you are, you’re gonna make mistakes in fantasy. I had Ross, and dropped him just in time to watch him put in a performance that would have won my week. But he had scored 14 points his previous 3 games, with not a lot of supporting stats, the drop was a good move, based on his numbers up to that point. I, like any good fantasy player, have to shake it off, and not beat myself up too much. So on that note, if you’re still reading, you may want to know whom to buy and whom to sell, and to that I say, thank you, read on, but obviously, buyer beware!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just like a vacation to Cape Cod, Tim Hardaway Jr. got a sabbatical Mike Woodson’s bench at the start of 2014. ”My New Year’s resolution will be… Bench my best players! Well except Melo…” Playing under 15 minutes in first 5 2014 games, it looked like it would be a Hardaway Way Back. But as they say, “slow and steady wins the race!” Then how come Andrew Bynum isn’t running track? ”Usain Bolt got nothing on me!” Then starting on the 14th, Coach Woody got Timmy Tim more minutes, capped off with 30+ in three of the last four. And man, was last night some straight ballin’! Topping his career-high by 8, Timmay(!) went 29/3/1 in 31 minutes, shooting a sizzling 11-17 FG with 6-12 from deep. ”That means he made every shot inside the arc!” Thanks arbitrary remark man! Enough with the quotes this morning JB… This game was virtually over the second Tyler Zeller lost the tip to Tyson Chandler (the ridiculous mismatch on the tip was a nice foreshadowing of the game…) and the Knicks embarrassed the Cavs about as bad as “The Decision.” But while Timmay(!) racked up some points in junk time, the Knicks have won four straight with him helping to stretch the floor. Of course no Iman Shumpert factors in, but there’s no way Coach Woody doesn’t have some morning woody seeing 4 straight wins – thanks to a lot less of Timmay(!) on the pine and more of him on… hardwood. So I think Hardaway Jr. is here to stay as a ThrAGNOF, which isn’t necessarily a derogatory term. Stream him when you can even in shallow leagues! Free points and threes! But not much else… Here’s what else I saw last night in a light slate of Thursday games:Please, blog, may I have some more?