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If I told you I had an Uncle Salvatore and he was eaten by badgers, that would be pretty wild, right? Well, I don’t, and none of my uncles have been consumed by wildlife. A true thing that happened that’s also pretty wild is Klay Thompson‘s amazing night. He mushroomed for 32 points, 7 rebounds, 2 assists and 3 blocks. Besides snaking his way around opponents to drive to the hoop, he also nailed 6 of 8 from downtown. His season best performance tops a current hot streak where he is averaging 20+ points over the past week. Not bad for kid, who probably isn’t even old enough to remember early Internet memes.

Andre Drummond – Someone should sing the praises of Andre Drummond. Ahem. “He’s in the middle without any plans, he’s”…what’s that? I already did this bit with J.J. Hickson a month ago? Darn it. Anyway, Drummond scored 18, grabbed 18, threw in an assist, a steal and a block. Can’t someone go 17/17 so I can break out the Winger reference?

Jarrett Jack – Jarrett Jacked off to 26 points, 1 board, 12 assists, a steal, a block and 3 of 4 from beyond the arc. He keeps getting better with each game.

Meyers Leonard – Played 3 minutes to collect 0/0/0/0/0/etc. After 3 games last week with halfway decent minutes and a few points and boards, he went for 1 point/1 rebound in 8 minutes on Sunday, and now this. Meyers, more like goodbyers, am I right? Cue slide whistle.

Monta Ellis – The dude had 24 points, 4 rebounds, 2 dimes, and a whopping 6 steals. Not the Dude, but this dude. Monta. You know him.

Alonzo Gee – Missed all 5 field goal attempts (incluing 2 threes) to finish with 0 points, 4 rebounds, 2 dimes and a steal. He’s averaged 29 minutes over the last 5 games and only managed 5/5/2 during that time, which makes me wonder what he’s doing out there.

Shawn Marion – Hate to talk about him again so soon, but he produced 12 points, 9 rebounds, 4 assists and 2 steals. He’s had some crappy performances recently, but he has also had some nice offensive outbursts, which could also describe my bathroom time. over the pst week, he’s averaging 8 rebounds.

Earl Clark – He had an impressive 20 points, 12 rebounds and 4 assists. The Lakers are crazy, even by L.A. standards, so you may as well grab Clark if you need a Forward help. He also had 6 turnovers on the night, for what that’s worth (it’s worth 6 turnovers).

Robin Lopez – You may not want to babble about him because he’s no Brook, but Robin still finished with 16 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists an a steal. Of course, it was his best game in 2 weeks.

Ersan Ilyasova – Came back down to Earth a little bit with 9 points, 1 rebound, 3 assists, and 2 steals in 21 minutes. Why the dropoff for the James Franco lookalike? Because you touch yourself at night, that’s why. Also, because the Bucks were crushing the Pistons by the 3rd and there was no reason to run out Milwaukee’s star(ter)s all night.

Wesley Matthews – The good news is he reached 17 points with 6 rebounds, 4 assists and 4 steals. He also took 9 three pointers and hit only 3, but if that’s the worst I have to say, it’s a good night. So…let’s try the bad news again. The bad news is, this is his first night in 5 games where he tallied more than 1 rebound. Although, that is sort of good news, too.

Dwight Howard – Here’s your weird line of the night: 24 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, 5 steals and 4 blocks.