Don't be shellfish...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

What the hell song am I even quoting there? Is that Backstreet Boys? Boy II Men? Men At Work? Kraftwerk? I remember it being slow and sultry, and an embarrassing song to admit I listen to. So that’s probably not Kraftwerk. Dudes are cool with other dudes listening to Kraftwerk. I’ve never verified this per say, but I’m comfortable with the assumption. Anywizz, The Thunder rolled on out of this year’s playoffs, leaving fantasy hoopsters (<– Grey’s mom’s term) asking themselves one important question: Are Durant’s wrists fatter than his calves? Uh, no. Is Russell Westbrook‘s mouth wide enough to fit his fist in? No again. Will James Harden start in 2011? There you go. I knew you could do it. Reports out of OKC are that, unless the Thunder have some sort of death wish, the team’s sixth man who averaged 13/5/4 in 17 games during these playoffs including .529 from the floor and 15/7/3 in the final four games will be in the starting lineup in 2011. I will remind you that Harden was discussed a couple weeks ago (naaailed it!). I will also remind you that Scotty Brooks looked like he wished he were dead throughout the last two games of the Dallas series, but still … if Harden starts next season and averages 30+ mpg, I’m calling 15/5/4 a lock. Okay, see?

Here’s what’s new with players on teams outside of Dallas, Miami and Chicago in fantasy basketball:

Reggie Evans – Likely gone from Toronto. This is generally good news for fantasy owners who are far more likely to rely on production from Amir Johnson and Ed Davis. Just between you and me and your roommate reading over your shoulder, I think Toronto will miss Reggie. When you have a first-class ball-thwacker on your roster, you really owe it to the franchise to do all you can to keep him and ensure none of your players’ balls get thwacked. Now? There’s a 4:1 shot Davis is getting a ball thwack at some point next season.

Antonio McDyess – Retired. Didn’t want to risk missing the season (series?) finale of Franklin & Bash messin’ with preseason games and shizz. Tiago Splitter has reportedly already started working on his shot. So if he can improve his 5/3/0 average to even just 7/5/1 … that would just about match McDyess’ averages from last season.

Thaddeus Young – Reports out of Philly suggests Thad will see close to 32 mpg next season. He averaged 17/7/1 every 32 minutes last season. He’s also going to be just 23 years old in 2011 and a huge sleeper candidate. Spoiler alert! There’s a Thad Young sleeper post coming up next week. If you have a time machine you can read it now. Though if you had a time machine, you should probably just skip ahead to next April and see how he does.

J.J. Redick – J-Rich is likely gone according to the Orlando Sentinel, making Redick the probable starter. This is great news for that one guy who felt the reason Orlando was bounced in the first round of playoffs was mostly because there just wasn’t enough Redick.

Kobe Bryant – Officially named the Lakers new player-coach. The announcement was made at the exact same time and by the exact same person announcing that Mike Brown is the Lakers’ new head coach.

Kris Humphries – Engaged himself onto the Kim Kardashian gravy train (the best part’s in the caboose). Odom just got a new brother-in-law and he loves it! Note: When Lamar Odom loves a thing you did, you just did the worst thing. So how are fans going to combine Kris and Kim’s name like Brangelina or TomKat? Krim? Kiis? Kardashies? My vote is for ‘The Harump’ and I’ve already copyrighted that mofo.