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Let’s face it. It’s unlikely that LeBron or KD are available on your waiver wire, and nobody in their right mind is gonna trade ’em to you. So adjust your expectations accordingly. You’re not taking the prom queen home tonight, but some of these fillies can still put out, and you can still pretend that the one you took home kinda does look like LBJ in the pale moonlight. Here are one man’s brain droppings on who to grab, and who to sell.

BUY

Gordon Hayward SG/SF

I know JB was goofing on Utah last week, so insert your best “jazz hands” quip here, but give Gordon a looksie. You may even get him for free, as he’s available in 41% of ESPN leagues, because he’s back from a shoulder injury that had him out 10 games. It should put a tingle in your dingle to hear he’s averaged 22 points, 2 3Pt, and 3.3 dimes per game in his first 3 back. He has the athletic ability to be a major contributor, and although he comes off the bench, he’s just given us the proverbial tip, if you will. There is value there, so long as Coach Corbin sees it my way. The talent part, not the tip part.

Kyle Korver SG/SF

Kyle Korver is available in 36% of leagues? Whaa? If he is in your league, start frogging, and jump, son! He is one of the perennial 3Pt leaders, shooting an amazing 46.4% from beyond the arc this year, and 4.1 boards and 2.5 dimes to accompany his sexy stroke. While his 11.3 points per can take some shine off of that trophy, we are talking rotisserie, and he has the potential any game to go off for 5+ 3Pt. But, full disclosure, long balls are a weakness of mine. I spend a lot of time at the community sauna. Just sayin.

Demar Derozan SG

There was concern on how DD was going to fit in with the arrival of Rudy Gay, that their games mimicked each others too much, etc. Well, aside from a dud against the Griz, who shuts a lot of good-to-great players down, he has scored no less than 18 per game since Rudy’s arrival. He went off for 34 against the Cavs on Wednesday, along with 2 assists and 5 boards. His playing in the Great White North can help your cause, due to lack of pub, here’s hoping you get him for pennies on the dollar.

Al Harrington PF

This dude comes in more as a waiver wire flyer, but because Al has been injured all season, he’s only owned in about 5% of leagues. With Big Baby injured, and J.J. Traded away, somebody’s gotta score. He averaged 14 points, 6 boards, 1.5 3Pts, and .9 steals per game last year. Getting a few 3s from your PF is nice, and although he may not get last years stats, he’s gotta be worth a gander, no?

SELL

Robin Lopez C

Lopez scored 14 points, 7 boards and 2 blocks going against his smarter, sexier, more talented twin. Which is a great time to sell Robin and his ridiculous Sideshow hair, off of a decent (for him) performance. He’s averaging a paltry 11.5 points, 5.4 boards and 1.5 blocks this season, and when Unibrow makes it back from a minor ailment, Lopez’s minutes will diminish behind Davis and Anderson.

Andre Drummond PF/C

Now don’t get me wrong, I love what this kid brings, his motor is off the charts, and will get time to play once healthy. The fact is, he’s not. It was reported earlier in the week that he could be back soon from a broken tailbone, and now that prognosis is being changed to end of March, beginning of April. If you don’t have IR space, he’s the one to go.

Jerryd Bayless PG/SG

After a fine fantasy start to the season, Bayless has tumbled back into obscurity. His game against Dallas Wednesday marks the 7th in a row that he has been limited to single digits, along with 3.4 dimes, and 2.1 boards. All I can say is: Meh.