Our first Buy/Sell of the season comes to from our very own Josh Vitale from the football side of the site. I say “our very own” because he’s one of us, but not like in the in-bred sense of “us.” Anyway, I deleted all the references to “tight ends,” “putting it through the uprights,” and “foot ‘n’ inches” because I thought he might have been confusing the two sports. At least I hope he was talking about football. Otherwise that was just a terribly disgusting metaphor. Anyway, enjoy!
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Jeremy Lin is Tim Tebow. There is no questioning this fact. They are the same person. The media’s darling. The guy every newspaper, website and blog devotes 14 articles a day to. The guy SportsCenter devotes 57 minutes of every hour to. The guy men want to be, and the guy women want to marry. Lin even gave Tebow’s boy God a shoutout after a recent win. Lin is Tebow, Tebow is Lin.
That’s why if you own Lin, you should sell high. Sell so high that you need six parachutes to keep the impact from killing you. Don’t sell for pennies on the dollar; sell for dollars on the penny.
“But Josh,” you’re surely asking, “why should we trade the best player in the history of the NBA?” You should sell him because the magic will soon run out. Sure, there’s no reason to think he won’t continue to be a solid NBA point guard, but if you think he’s going to put up Derrick Rose numbers playing on the same team as Carmelo Anthony, you’ve likely never watched the NBA before. Something like 12 points and seven assists per game is a reasonable expectation, but ME-lo would rather retire from the league and join the cast of Jersey Shore than allow himself to play second fiddle to a guy who played college ball at Harvard.
So send out some trade offers. Steph Curry, maybe. Perhaps Rajon Rondo. John Wall, even. And if you can find a Knicks fan in your league, send out a Lin for LeBron offer. Because you own Jeremy Lin. And he’s the most valuable commodity on the planet.
BUY
D.J. Augustin – Lost in all the Linsanity is the fact that a very serviceable point guard made his return to the court for the mighty Bobcats Wednesday night. Sure, his nine-point, two-assist, two-rebound line was child’s play compared to anything best-point-guard ever Jeremy Lin has done, but he’s definitely worth adding to your team. Unless you don’t like owning guards that average 14 points and seven assists per game on your team. Which you should. Because that’s good. It gives me woo… ahem. Moving on.
Greivis Vasquez – Anyone who ever attended the University of Maryland just pounded their chest and shimmied in their chair. Don’t lie to me; you totally just did it. The General is taking full advantage of the rash of knee injuries that have hit New Orleans like the plague, averaging 11 points and seven assists per games starting in place of the injured Jarrett Jack. He’s even posted two double-doubles in that span. Based on the Hornet’s luck with Eric Gordon’s knee injury, I wouldn’t trust Jack’s balky knee as far as I can throw it, which, admittedly, isn’t that far. Long story short, now is the time to invest in Vasquez.
J.R. Smith – If your league has somehow created a “team chemistry” or “selfless basketball” stat category, you’re going to want to avoid Smith. But if you enjoy a player who launches 3-pointers with absolutely reckless abandon, there might be nobody more perfect for you. Take him out to dinner, buy him a nice steak and offer him a $2.5 million exception and maybe, just maybe, J.R. will agree to play for your fantasy basketball team.
Chris Kaman – If you currently have, have ever had, or someday wish to own two healthy knees, please stay far, far away from the Hornets. Seriously, this is hard to believe. Four expected starters are all currently sidelined with knee injuries? Have the Hornets hired people to just sit outside the locker room and whale on players’ kneecaps with baseball bats? Emeka Okafor is the latest casualty, meaning former malcontent Chris Kaman is back in our lives. He’s averaged a double-double in his last two games, and with the Hornets showing him off like an ugly show poodle as the trade deadline nears, he’ll likely continue to produce while he’s on the floor.
Brook Lopez – He hasn’t played in a single game this season, yet he’s already the second best player on the Nets. And it’s not even that close. B-Lo should return from his foot injury soon, so his value is only going to go up from here. Now is the time to start flooding your friends’ inboxes with condescending remarks and low-ball offers.
SELL
Tony Parker – Tony Parker has got to hate Jeremy Lin by now. Seriously. Parker has been putting up unbelievable numbers over the past few games and the entire east coast of the country doesn’t even care. “34 points and 14 assists?” America is saying. “Might be good enough in France, but it ain’t worth nothing here. This is Lin’s world now.” Eva Longoria’s divorcee has been money recently, but with Manu Ginobili on his way back to full strength, it might be time to see if you can’t capitalize on Parker while his value is at its highest.
Jeff Teague – There’s nothing sadder than a point guard who can’t rack up assists. It’s like watching a baby who hasn’t learn to walk yet: you want to love them, but until they starts doing something worthwhile all you can do is glare disapprovingly at them and change their diaper when they inevitable soil themselves. Teague has averaged a paltry 3.7 assists per game in the past month, never topping six dimes in a game during that stretch. He’s even losing playing time to somebody named Kirk Hinrich. If you can find a way to unload him, do it now.
Tyson Chandler – Everything is currently peaches in the Big Apple, but all this ball-sharing, offensive balance and winning is pissing Carmelo Anthony off. And when he gets back, he’s going to destroy it the same way Robert California ruined The Office (yea, I said it). Chandler has enjoyed a nice little run as the Hall to Jeremy Lin’s Oates in the pick-and-roll, but the returns of Amar’e Stoudemire and Anthony, and the eventual addition of J.R. Smith is going to put a huge damper on Chandler’s numbers. He’ll still be plenty valuable as a center, but his value is likely at its peak right now.
Eric Gordon – Ok, you’re not going to actually get any fantasy value in return for Gordon, but it’s worth your while to get something, right? Maybe you can see if you’re buddy will buy you a fresh Subway sandwich in return for Gordon. Or maybe he’ll get you the new Madonna CD that everyone knows you secretly want. Either way, it’s better than nothing.
