Ahhhhh, our epic Jusuf Nurkic vs. Nikola Jock Itch debates. 16-17 might become remembered as the year of the Nuggets big men Civil War. I wanna be on Iron Man’s side!

In a gutsy battle with the Craptors, the Nugs almost pulled out a great road win, putting together a huge 3rd quarter and getting a lead for most of the 4th. We the North still ended up notching the W, and so did Slim and the Nurk > Joke contingent! I still feel like I have to remind everyone that I ranked Nurk ahead of all experts, and was middle-of-the-pack-to-slightly-below-consensus on Jokic. But alas, I did think Slim was a little crazy saying he wanted Nurk over Joke outright, and after last night, it’s looking like it’s going to be a coin flip any given outing. The real head-scratcher is Nurkic lead the team with a preposterous 38 minutes. Lunacy! Ended up going 13/18/1/1/5 in a great line, but did struggle with the %s, shooting 5-14 FG and 3-7 FT. He’s just so big out there… Look at poor Pit-Pat trying to block him, what are you doing Pit-Pat?!

I think this matchup made sense, as Nurk is a good fit to D up The Luminescent Lithuanian, and with his size and D presence, can help out on the Lowry and DeRozan iso drives. Erstwhile, I thought Nikola Jokic looked pretty good, but only played 22 minutes, going 12/4/1/0/0. Shot 6-9, but 4 TO?! The Nugs only had 8 TO as a whole, so friggin’ Jock Itch had half their giveaways, plus had 4 fouls in that limited run. Just wasn’t his night.

So what to do with these guys? I think you gotta just deploy them as usual, and hope the coin flips your way any given game. As long as it doesn’t pull a Watchmen and land standing up. I think that was Watchmen, I know it was in the dumb movie Ed too, about Joey from Friends teaching a monkey to pitch. Hahahaha, how terrible. I just had to link the trailer, because I watched it for 30 seconds to be sure I was citing the right movie, and holy crap. This is the most fantastic 2 minutes of my life:

If that doesn’t make you laugh, nothing will! I’m all over the place this morning… To wrap that metaphor, I guess Kenneth Faried would be if the coin landed straight up, and at least he only saw 15 minutes. I wouldn’t be shocked at all if Nurk gets 22 minutes next time out, Jock Itch 35, and Jock Itch has the big game. Going to be frustrating game to game. But for last night, Slim gets to gloat! Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Whoa, it’s November already! Where hath art time gone?! On today’s show, Slim & I discuss panic levels on slow-starting fantasy studs, the mess in Brooklyn, and JB notes his biggest surprise of the year thus far. I don’t want to give it away, that’s what we call a tease! We then wrap the show with previewing tonight’s games, and make our 30-point challenge picks.

Download in iTunes

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REL Basketball1The first week is in the books!  I hope everyone out there in the deep dynasty landscape had a strong first week, saw their rooks get into the rotation a little bit, and avoided the old dinosaurs like Dirk giving them early DNPs…  Smh.

If you’re still unfamiliar with the REL, I wanted to give a quick format recap for this first in-season look-in – it’s a 20 team league, 12 starting roster spots, 5 bench, 1 IL, standard 9-cat H2H.  You can keep an unlimited number of keepers (well, up to roster size) up to the auction budget of $200.  Whatever cash you don’t keep, you use to buy up the younguns outta the draft.  Then arguably the most crucial aspect of the league is the waiver wire.  All pickups are $1 keepers for life, so our $100 FAAB budgets have a dramatic impact on roster construction.  Expect to see some big buys for young guys who break out!

Enough with the league rules recap JB, we get it (says 99% of readers, who have seen these before)!  Here’s how week one in the 2016-17 REL went down:

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Save your horse, and ride a… Justin Hamilton?! As we coined on the Podcast, the coach of the Nets has officially changed his name. It’s even on his newly issued Birth Certificate! It’s no longer Kenny Atkinson. While Brooks wears his giant cowboy hat, Kenny literally wears his ass on his head. He is forever more: Kenny Asshat. I’d love to make that my Halloween costume!

After that shockingly low-run debut, Brook Lopez persevered in game two with a 25/5/1/1/0 line in only 26 minutes on Friday night. Maybe the most shocking aspect of that game was the Nets actually won an NBA game! Then on Saturday afternoon, we get word Brolo is going to get a healthy DNP-rest. Mother F Asshat! Because of course after 2+ healthy seasons including playing 33+ MPG last year, Brook is an injury risk. This is a ticking time bomb in Brooklyn… Asshat wants to chuck as many 3s as possible; through Saturday night’s game, Brooklyn’s 37.3 3PA were second in the NBA, only to the Mavericks who had an OT game then played Houston. 42% of their shots are treys, which leads the league thus far (small sample of course). Even in that “good” game from Brolo Friday night, he shot 0-4 from deep, giving him 6 3PTA this season. His career high 3PTA?! 14 last year for 0.2 a game. 3.0 thus far in 16-17. A big part of his value has been game-to-game reliability and FG%, and now we’re not going to get either. Asshat really wants to pound Brook’s square peg in a round hole, and we all know Asshat has a big round hole! What a mess this team is. Hopefully you don’t have too many shares of Brolo, and if you do, you’re really forced to hold as best you can. No one is giving you anything for him… But at least it opens some opportunities, with Hamilton now a streamer even in 12ers, and you know the rest of your Nets are all going to have ThrAGNOF streamability. Asshat playing his team like Duke. Shooting nothing but 3s… So annoying! No UNC bias there… I don’t think Asshat got the memo that the NBA perimeter is further out… Smh. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in Fantasy Basketball action:

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[10/21 – Final Update!  Complete with all of Slim’s stat projections, a few final tweaks, and hopefully a list that’s 95% accurate!  I’m going to try my best to keep our ranking’s post active throughout the whole regular season so commenters can give me some love for the calls that went right, or slam me where it went all Wiggins-ish.  Good luck this year, Razzball Hoops Nation!]

Oh.  My.  God.  It’s here!!!

Not too be all Sapper (I love Millsap!), but this post is the pinnacle of everything I’ve worked for through the years at Razzball.  Taking over hoops in 2013 and building a community with you awesome commenters has been unreal.  And is anything more important in fantasy hoops than ranks?!  As Zoolander would say when clowned for having one look, “I DON’T THINK SO!”

Enough melodrama, this is where it all comes together!  Our one-stop rankings page where we will be continually updating the top 200 until opening night, complete with Yahoo position eligibility (where we’ll be playing in 16-17 RCLs – sign up now!), my short-form blurb (you can read further on everyone in the rankings posts linked below), Slim’s ranks projection (if a rank looks wildly wrong compared to Slim’s projection – it’s a player we wildly disagree on!), and the comments section below that I dare say was the best in fantasy basketball last year.  In 15-16’s ranks, we got to 1,572 comments complete with rankings disagreements, breaking news, draft strategy, draft reviews, and general Razzball hijinks that can’t be topped.  Let’s go for 2,000 this year!

Here’s our 2016-17 Razzball Fantasy Basketball Rankings:

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So if you haven’t listened to this morning’s Podcast yet, you wanna know what’s fun when you run the world’s awesomest Fantasy Basketball blog?! Coming home to no internet! And your ISP having no way to fix it until the next day! It just makes you think about how we in the fantasy basketball world rely on the internet, when so much of the world is still without it… I’m over here stressing like a madman wanting to be sure Razzball Hoops can still deliver our silliness, when the world at large still has a long way to go. Even though it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, I want to tell my family at the Razzball Nation table that I’m just thankful to be here, and thankful for everyone reading! …and thankful I can get to work a few hours early to bang out today’s recap… Without the internet, I wouldn’t have a job with a software company, Razzball wouldn’t exist, I’d be working at some factory or some ish, fantasy basketball would likely not exist…. Imagine calculating fantasy hoops by hand! Ahhhhh! Awful! I’m very fortunate to merely exist at this point in time and space. And to wrap up this sappy open, I want to say I’m the bigger man and certainly wouldn’t ousT What Cable provider I use… Crooks.

Anyway, so with limited hoops watching last night due to an inconsistent 4G stream, I didn’t get to watch the Celtics game and two of my REL rocks, but had a little better service to watch most of the first half of the Spurs/Sac game. First off, have you seen the new Kings arena?! The Golden 1 Center doesn’t look real! It looks like where they’d play football in Starship Troopers, ya know, with that silver football? Wasn’t there talk that this team could move a few years ago? Geez! Well for as bad as the Kings manage their personnel, they certainly can hire some Star Trek architects, that’s for damn sure. But for as cool as the new arena looks, Kawhi Leonard looks better. Sleeker. Sexier… “You are ruining moving day for us!” 30/3/5/5/0 last night, giving him back-to-back 30 Pts/5 Stl games for the first time in NBA history. Ok, don’t fact check that, I’m sure it’s happened before… [edit – Rotoworld must be reading us, because about an hour after this posted, they put out this latest news blurb on Kawhi this morning…]

I feel like he’s one of the birds from Finding Nemo. “Mine! Mine mine! Mine!” But what an absolute superstar, and maybe he belonged right next to KAT a tier below the big-4 in my ranks. Maybe even within the big 4! 7-7 FT last night, giving him a 22-22 clip to begin the season. He only committed 1 TO last night too! If you watched any of this game, the Kings actually started pretty hot, and the other starting 4 Spurs looked horrific. It was all Kawhi to open the scoring, putting in San Antonio’s first 9 points. It was Kawhi 9 to Sacramento 16 halfway through the first… With the rest of the Spurs struggling a bit out of the gate, Kawhi put his team on his back, and absolutely looks like he’s in the MVP discussion. Makes you pretty happy for having a later-round pick in standard snake drafts! Here’s what else went down last night in Fantasy Hoops action:

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Ughhhhh.  Today’s podcast… Brought to you by the magic of 4G hotspots and free internet at Starbucks!  Due to internet issues at the Razzball Podcast Studio, Slim’s audio is a little funky, but as eager fans of Serial would say, “better a crappy Podcast about a deserter than no Podcast at all!”  On today’s show, we review all of the big news and notes from the first two nights of action including Anthony Davis‘s huge game, Sergio Rodriguez as a pickup, and Joel Embiid‘s debut.  It was a very sturdy debut, for sure!  We also make our 30-point challenge picks, and catch up on what we’ve been watching at the movies.

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What an incredible NBA Opener for big men! Maybe the Sixers aren’t as crazy after all…? But the bigs across the league went absolute ham; they were big hams! It’s why in Supermarket Sweep the people would always go for the hams first. Why did they never go to the wine section?! Just nab the best ish there and start a party!

Myles and JV go for 30, Embiid has an epic debut, but it was Anthony Davis who takes home the best line of the openers thus far, going an absurd 50/16/5/7/4! I mean, it could literally be the best line of the season… Double rainbow, 7 steals?!, shot 17-34, and hit 16-17 FT. After taking a little flack keeping him #1 last year, Brow started the 15-16 season going 18/6/2/0/3 shooting 4-20 (420!) and 10-15 FT. Dude, apparently the Pelicans medical staff – in all of their immense glory and wisdom – should’ve taken a hammer to his ankle before last season! Hard to believe a mere 1.5 weeks ago his status for the opener was in question off a kankle, but we’re seeing the ups and downs of what it’ll be like to be a Brow owner. Especially the dread of seeing him play 41 minutes in a loss… I nabbed him in one league, and might try some preposterous sell highs. But the allure of lines like that are tough to ignore. We just all know we’re one horrific Pels medical staff decision away from this happening to him walking out of the training room. Here’s what else happened on our first major slate of NBA games of the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

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Holy schnike, what an opening set of games! And what a night for Believeland! The Cavs get to raise their banners and get their ring pops to open the 2016-17 NBA Season, then top it off by playing a disjointed group of SUPER streetballers that a high school team might be able to beat. Really, Knicks?! 17 assists to 18 turnovers?! Just an absolute collapse by New York after a nice 2nd quarter run. I guess they’re going to end up going 115-1… Then a mere 50 feet away, the Windians pick up game 1 in the World Series, shutting out the Cubs 6-0. The dude who wrote Major League couldn’t have even foreseen this!

After seeing what LeBron James did last night, it made me want to link MAC’s comment on our staff picks article. Of course I’m overreacting to one game, but man did Bronny Bron look hungry from some MVPness (be sure to say that word out loud). 19/11/14/0/1 for his first career Opening Night tripdub, as the Cavs stand-n-shooters all hit their threes boosting the dimes. Monster dunks early and often, but still had his deficiencies in FT (1-2), treys (0-3) and TO (4). If Cleveland can keep rolling like this, and the MVP talk remains clamorous, we all know we need to be shopping him in a month or two. As we mentioned a few times in the offseason, his schedule in the H2H Playoffs (or at the end of the Roto season) is fraught with DNP landmines. I got The King in one of my RCLs, and if he’s still around by the All-Star Break, I have a feeling I’m going to have trouble dealing him away. But others in your league are likely a little less competent with foresight and don’t read Razzball, even though it’s a Shakespearean Tragedy! So hopefully in those leagues, you’ll be able to capitalize. Who knows, in Razzball leagues, maybe the hate and talk of trading him will create a buying opportunity! And maybe even the Knicks will turn it all around and fight the Cavs for the best record in the East… Hah, now we’re getting into some super crazy talk! Here’s what else went down across the first 3 NBA Openers last night:

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The season is here, the season is here! Get out your favorite throwback NBA jersey and your fantasy stat-calculating abacuses (abaci?!), because fantasy basketball starts tonight! If you could pick any throwback jersey, just for aesthetic sake, which jersey would you go with? For me, gimme those old school Nugs jerseys!

nugs-throwbacks

Doesn’t beat that right there! It’s so 80s it makes me want to watch Stranger Things for the 3rd time!

On the docket tonight, we have the Knicks going to Cleveland with the Cavs getting their rings, Utah going to Portland to battle it out in the Northwest, and then the best game of the night – the Spurs going to Golden State and beating the Warriors on the road to send Dubs fans into a panic! I’m planning on staying up all night to watch that game, so if I’m a little cranky tomorrow morning, it’s probably because the Spurs lost and I’m dehydrated after drinking 3 pots of coffee…

We’re stoked for another huge season at Razzball, and looking forward to our biggest season yet! If you missed our scheduling preview post for Razzball Basketball’s 2016-17 content, you can check it out here, and be sure to welcome in our new staff with as many comments as you can muster. Not unlike the Knicks, we have a Super Team assembled for 2016-17! Let’s get this ish going!

Here’s a few notes for the games tonight, along with a few final thoughts from the preseason (a lot of injury notes we just discussed on the Pod this morning, so be sure to give a listen!):

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