After getting down as much as 23 points, I was going to pose the question – is Nicolas Batum the glue for the Blazers?

But then the Charlotte Hornets looked like the Kelly Tripucka Charlotte Hornets, hiked up their shorts, and got run out of Portland in the second half.  This is Damian Lillard‘s show!  29/4/7/2/0 hitting 5 treys and 12 of 21 shots for The Omen.

With Batum out last night (and is hopeful to miss only two more and returning next Monday – he likes the weekly league fantasy players!), a lot of minutes opened up for Blazers SF.  And of all the options, I don’t think anyone would’ve projected Allen Crabbe as the starter!  Play Chris Kaman at the 3!  I actually remember watching a few of Crabbe’s games at Cal when they were in the NCAA tourney and thought he was a good little player.  But dude had 4 combined minutes on the season!  And even the starting role did nothing for him, going 2/2/2/0/0 in 22 minutes shooting 1-4.  Allen Crabby, want more rock!  Crabbe has virtually no value, and Batum’s injury just means a few stats will trickle down through the Blazers starters and role players.

The under-the-radar winner is Steve Blake, who nearly rainbowed for 5/4/2/2/1.  Season-high 25 minutes and he’s averaging over 3 dimes a game this year.  Your line-up is probably filled out tomorrow and Saturday for the next two Blazers games, but hey, if you have one streaming spot open and need a little PG love, don’t be afraid to turn to grown-up Dewey for help.  Here’s what else went down in fantasy hoops last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Logo

Two weeks in, and this is why you trust your veterans this Veteran’s Day!  Razzball and RCL veteran Pop’s Team takes over sole possession of the RCL lead with a blistering 16-2 start.  And to get there, the immaculate 9-0 victory.  *slow clap*  We’ll get more into Jay’s league and all the RCLs below, but on a day to give thanks, a quick shout out to all our veterans out there so we can play silly fantasy sports.

You can see how you stack up against Pop in the The 2014-15 RCL Master Standings table, and here’s how the action went down across our 12 RCL Leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry if today’s update is a little light on jokes, as I had to sit through the ultimate joke – my Panthers playing football.  Cam Newton looks more injured than the Thunder and the offensive line tanked worse than the 76ers.  Buzz’s girlfriend, WOOF!

Anthony Davis is good at basketball.  LeBron James can still get triple doubles.  Eh, there you go, open over.

 

 

 

Just kidding, but the level of ball Davis is playing right now is ridiculous, with my eyebrow raised off of my forehead like I’m a South Park cartoon.  And he’s doing it while being a boss with his %s.  27/14/4/3/4 last night in a near double-rainbow, while shooting 12-21 FG, 3-4 FT, and count em, even fewer TO than Davis has eyebrows, not a single giveaway.  I mean, the Panthers took two plays to have more turnovers than Davis last night…

Not to be overshadowed, LeBron tripdubbed for 32/12/10/1/1.  This game was redonkulous!  Key word on donk, as lots of that was being thrown around.  LeBron did have 4 TO, so advantage Brow!  According to Basketball Monster, Davis’ per-game value is on pace to obliterate the best per-game season since their system launched in 2005-06 with Kevin Durant‘s 2012-13 second best (looking at those, man I forgot how awesome Shawn Marion was!).  We need Rudy to build a best fantasy seasons of all time Sporcle!  While the times are a-changin’, just be happy if you got Brow, since I couldn’t anywhere.  Panthers suck, I see these lines from Brow even though I was in a big minority having him #1 overall… I will be drinking my Crown & Cokes for the duration of this article.  Here’s what else went down in hoops action last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now through two weeks, and Martyball – IFBL is trying to show off his utter eliteness with another ridiculous victory, giving him a 15-2-1 record to start the year.  “Augustus, save some for later!”  Marty’s got an exceedingly deep team, so everyone on his roster is going to have stats McFly.  Big matchup this week as the Barking BassetHounds at 12-6 will try to take Marty down a peg or two.  Barking is gonna rock out and on Sunday exclaim, “I guess you weren’t ready for that yet!”  Here’s how everything else shook out in the Razzball Elite League for Week 2:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ay dios mio!

Friday was a cryday for me.  Then Saturday was a sadderday.  Muy triste!  Ricky Rubio severely sprained his ankle in the second quarter against the Magic Friday night, effectively crushing several of my teams and ruining my DraftKings squad!  Seems like every year there’s several bad ankle sprains with players rolling their foot on their own, get these guys better footwear!  Rubio’s gonna miss at least a month, with a widely circulated update it “could” be 7-8 weeks.  All I want for Christmas is Rubio back on the court!  I’m holding in virtually all leagues, as he was finally banking on the high expectations I’ve set for him with my high ranks the past two years.  Because we all know the Razzball Ranks are bulletin board material for NBA locker rooms…

Everything seemed to point towards a massive workload for Mo Williams, who through the first four games (with Rubio in there full time as the starter), Mo was averaging 21.4 minutes and 3 dimes per.  But surprisingly, Flip Saunders went sushi on us with the raw Zach Lavine getting the start and going 5/6/4 in 26 minutes (only 2 TO) while Mo’s 2/4/5 in 22 minutes (3 TO) doesn’t inspire any sort of confidence Williams will get more rock.  Add into the stew the Wolves were actually in that game against the Heat until the end, and it’s a stew I don’t think I want any part of anymore.  I mean, who puts sushi in a mother f stew?!  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Exclusivity.  Makes you feel special, empowered, embrazened.  Embatlled, embaweome, Embiid-ish.

Yes, you’ve read that right, DraftKings – Razzball’s daily fantasy site of choice – has thrown us our first RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE NBA CONTEST for tonight, which you can only join through that All Caps link.  Yes, it may look like I’m yelling at you, but I’m pumped!  You can’t enter through the main DraftKings lobby or from a URL scribbled down on a napkin by your lunch waitress, only that link right there will guide you into our VIP area.

And by exclusive, we mean exclusive.  Only 20 spots will be open to readers, and well, it’s only 18 since Slim and I are in there.  So you’ve gotta sign up quick, no dilly dallying!  The entry fee is $10, with first place taking home a hunnet!  $100 for first, $50 for second, and $25 for 3rd and 4th place.  Using my Mickey Math (yes I had one of those as a kid!), you can add those up to get the full $200, so DraftKings is not taking any profit.  Just giving us our own contest for our own bragging rights.

If you’re new to daily fantasy, it’s an exponentially growing segment of the fantasy industry, and unlike failing the Marshmallow Test, you can get immediate gratification without feeling bad about it.  No more waiting the whole season before knowing if indeed JB BEATS SLIM!!!!, but I’ll know right away if I spanked his beard right off him.  I’m “jbrazzball” for your tracking enjoyment through the contest, and let’s get it filled up fast so maybe they’ll give widen us up for a few more spots!

Scoring for DraftKings is similar to a points league, and you can find the breakdown here if you’ve never played daily fantasy or haven’t played on DraftKings yet.

Here’s five of my picks for tonight in a big slate of games, so choose wisely and may the best daily fantasy-ite win:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man, both NBA games last night were atrocious…  Even if the Rockets McDonald’s unis were effing awesome, love those 90s reds and yellows!

Gregg Popovich sat Manu Ginobili and Tim Duncan (on top of Marco Belinelli and Tiago Splitter injured) that’s sure to get Adam Silver pitching a tent in his NBA-fines PJs.  With no Duncan or Splitter, the Spurs had to play Aron Baynes and Boris Diaw at C.  Wow.  And against an inconsistent-at-best post player in Dwight Howard!  But Dwight destroyed his “defenders” and looked like a 17 year old high school kid with college aspirations playing against middle schoolers.  Like watching Taco Fall play against other high school JV teams.  Man, Taco makes a basketball look like a grapefruit!

There’s really only one explanation to last night’s travesty – Pop owns Dwight on his fantasy team.  And well, let’s guess Kevin McHale drafted Tim Duncan and was against Pop this week.  Pop DOES NOT like to lose in fantasy basketball.  I’d imagine when he talks to his fantasy opponents it goes something like this.  “What’s more powerful than me winning every year?  Hope.  That I’d ever let anyone else win!”  Dwight for 32/16/0/1/2 shooting 12-18 from the field.  It was pretty bad out there, matchup wise.  He did his Dwight thing missing FT but ended up fine hitting 8-13.  I’m very steadfast in my anti-Dwight ways, so if you have Howard and have thought about trading, this is the game to be off of to do it.  Here’s what else went down in a light slate of Thursday action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?