Let’s say you and I traveled back in time, but we still had to run our fantasy basketball teams. Right about now (now meaning 1932), I would be sending you this telegram from Western Union: “John Wall diagnosed early stages stress injury left knee.

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Here it is, friends, the big kahuna. It’s like when your friends sit around and say, “what are your top 30 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies?” Only instead of that, it’s me telling you the top 100 basketball players for fantasy basketball purposes.

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The chatter is loud over the NFL scab referees screwing up games. You know what I say? Forget football and come enjoy basketball. We have thrills, spills, and spine tingling chills. David Stern is possibly the least offensive out of the big four’s commissioners, arguably, theoretically.

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We’ve all heard the snarky comment, those who can’t do, teach. Well, those who can’t play basketball play Small Forward. Now, both of those statements are not entirely true, and I’m really just being hateful. There are some great Small Forwards, but this position gets really weak really fast.

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Today we take a look at Power Forwards, perhaps the most versatile position in the NBA. Coaches like to slot these guys in the Center position, move them to fill in at Small Forward, and take them to the bowling alley for some downtime.

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Yarr, ahoy, mateys. September 19th is talk like a pirate day, and I will shiver ye timbers with more  2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings. Today we be lookin’ at tha shootin’ guard. Reminds me of the time I shot a man for stealing me rum, or maybe I’m just remembering the time I drank too much rum and shot my urine all over the sidewalk.

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I love a good big man. That works in both a gay disco and a basketball court, which is basically on par for the amount of sweaty men grunting in close proximity to each other. As we continue our 2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings, I am happy to hit the tallest of the tall.

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We have already delighted you with controversy and angst, ranking Dwight Howard in the top ten at the expense of the beloved reincarnation of the Christ child (or the deity of your choice), Andrew Bynum. In the original commandments given to Moses, God warned, “Thou Shalt Not List Any Other Above Andrew Bynum.”  At the end of the season when Bynum is the MVP with 30.3 PPG, 19.7 RPG, and 5.3 BPG, you can stand and look down at me as I endure the eternal torment of fantasy hell.

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Basketball season is right around the corner, and if you’re dancing like this girl, then you are showing the appropriate level of excitement. This time around, we get a full season of play, which should be good for those of us who like to occupy our time on fantasy sports sites.

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In December 2011, Brandon Roy decided to retire from the NBA (or was asked to sit out by Portland) due to a degenerative knee condition. Less the a gestational period later, he has decided that the knee isn’t so bad, and he still wants to play.

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