Guess who’s biiiizack, the Aussie Miiiiizack, aka Mr. never throw up a brick (shout out to beans). Andrew Bogut erupted on the scene like Mount Vesuvius in his return to action to the tune of 12 points, 8 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, and 4 blocks. Are the Golden State Warriors now contenders? Well, not if Stephen Curry continues to be more fragile than a Ukrainian egg, and the odds of that are quite high. Still, Bogut will put up numbers till he has another freak injury. Seriously, look it up. This man is cursed, I swear it. Below is what else stood out to your dear friend Tehol Beddict in last night’s NBA action. Peep game.
Aaron Gray– 22 points, 10 rebounds, 1 assist, 2 steals. Speaking of goofy looking white centers, Aaron Gray had a nice game last night. Do I believe in my huge heart it will continue? Absolutely not.
Terrence Ross– 11 points, 2 boards, 2 assists. So Toronto drafts Ross in the lottery, and decides to throw a bunch of money at Landry Fields, another small forward, in hopes of swaying Steve Nash to come aboard? I’m continually baffled that Bryan Colangelo is a respected basketball mind. That’s like telling me M. Night Shyamalan is an exceptional director. The man, to put it lightly, is a joke. Start Ross and give him 30 minutes a night. Please Sir, I’m begging you, only this time not on my knees like when I was asking for that intern position.
Rudy Gay– 26 points, 7 boards, 5 dimes, 1 block. We all need a little Gay in our life. If only we were all so lucky. These are the numbers you expect from a max salary player. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy….. I just watched that movie yesterday. Makes me cry every time. Your man Tehol is an emotional man.
Marc Gasol– 27 points, 7 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks. Speaking of high salaried players, Gasol has been living up to expectations as of late himself, and I for one love watching this butt ugly Spaniard work his magic with the roundball. He truly is a great passer and as I said from day one, ‘The Grizz’ fleeced the Lakers in that trade years ago. Ok, so I didn’t say that but it turned out quite well for them. Kudos to that horrific G.M. Chris Wallace.
Tony Wroten– 6 points. Watch this man closely as his minutes have been upped in a major way. No, don’t pick him up yet. Just keep a close eye. I’m a big fan, and guys that I’m a fan of almost always turn into stars. Just look at Pauly Shore.
Evan Turner– 27 points, 3 boards, 7 dimes, 1 steal. Now that’s what I’m talking about, Turner! Keep being a man! You’re not 40, but you’re still a man (please click on that link, it never gets old, I promise you).
Damien Wilkins– 0 points in 15 minutes? What is this man doing in the NBA? Gerald’s kid has officially worn out his welcome in the league. I’ve written at length about terrible G.M.s, and Danny Ferry is another one. What’s truly sad is that Ferry’s playing career was more successful than his player management skills. I wish we could just erase him from history, as all our lives would be better for it.
Isaiah Thomas– 22 points, 7 assists, 4 rebounds. Thomas has been ballin’ out of control since he learned that his team would be moving to his home state of Washington next season. Hey, maybe they will go out and sign Nate Robinson too and start the smallest backcourt in NBA history. Got to sell tickets somehow, right?
Francisco Garcia– 17 points, 3 steals, 3 rebounds. I thought I attended the funeral for Garcia’s career years ago??? Oh wait, no, that was Andy Garcia.
Emeka Okafor– 23 points, 15 boards, 3 assists and a steal. These numbers from ‘Mek’ nearly rendered me speechless, which is almost impossible. I suppose this says more about about Demarcus Cousins‘ defense than anything else. Still Okafor went Shaq style on the Kings last night. They lost the game but who cares?! I’m pumped over this.
Moe Harless– 16 points, 4 boards, 2 assists, 3 steals. Ok Moe Moe, get on with your bad self playa. It’s nice to see something of value coming out of Orlando. Wow, is that franchise in shambles or what? Monitor this rook with the same intensity you do your hairline. Maybe you should invest in rogaine and maybe, just maybe, you should invest in Moe. Moe money, Moe money, Moe Money!
Gerald Wallace– 7 points, 4 boards, 3 assists in 26 minutes. Wallace has finally proved that the nets management are absolute buffoons for resigning this guy. Not even Christian Slater is this washed up. What a disgrace.
Bismack Biyombo– 8 points, 9 boards, 2 steals and 1 block. Bismack has been pimp slapping the competition as of late in impressive fashion. It’s possible he develops into a more offensively skilled Ben Wallace type. Highly unlikely, but possible.
Ben Gordon– 18 points, 3 boards. 0 assists? I’m shocked. This Englishman can light it up like Master P and the old no limit crew. You might wish you had that 3 minutes of your life back if you clicked that link. Silk the Shocker, where are you man? Unhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Free C-Murder!
Jimmy Butler– 19 points, 6 boards, 2 assists, and 1 block. They said he’d never be more than an 8th or 9nth guy. They were wrong. Jimmy is Tru to the game like the aforementioned Master P, and looks to be one of the steals from last year’s draft. Grab this young man if you have room.
Paul George– 23 points, 10 boards, 5 dimes, 4 steals, and 1 block. Georgie has been a fantasy gold mine this season as he has blossomed, like Ricky Martin in his prime, to become a full fledged NBA all-star.
Danilo Gallinari– 27 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 steal, and 1 block. This Italian lady killer shot the lights out last night, and I for one, am excited about it. The talent is there, as is the deep stroke. Galli could very well be an all-star next season.
That’s all for this week my fellow fantasy nuts. All this Master-P talk had me digging through my old CD’s and now my chicken and I are getting crunk and reliving the good old days. Pretty soon I’ll be taking gravity bong hits and drinking Mad Dogs. Let the good times roll guys. Let the good times roll.