Monta Ellis played 32 minutes. The rest was spent nursing his broke-ass face that became broke after Anderson Varejao elbowed it into a million pieces. It was heinous. I puked a little. Babies were crying in the distance. Grandma said a prayer. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Monthly Archives: January 2012
I’m just gonna say this, and then I’m gonna stand by it: I’m almost positive that whenever anyone thinks of the Gustavos of the NBA, Gustavo Ayon‘s name will be mentioned. Sit on that, Potsie. 8/5/2, with 2 stl and 2 blk as Monty Williams has been leaving some slack in the leash for this guy in the last three games. Please, blog, may I have some more?
MLK Day Means Miller Looking to Kill
January 16, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 33 Commentsby: Adam
Mike Miller is set to to make his season debut with the Heat today, which is particularly fortuitous (if I may use that term on a family blog) as the news makes the rounds of Dwyane Wade likely missing more games has resulted in thousands of monkey-punches to the groins of thousands of fantasy basketball teams. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Commenter Master Standings (Updated: 1/13)
January 13, 2012 | Razzball Commenter Leagues | 53 Commentsby: Adam
The most recent week of fantasy basketball felt like every scene in the movie “300.” Except that Dwight Howard wears more armor, LeBron is more ripped and the losers wear fewer facial jewelry than Xerxes. (I’m pretty sure that’s true, right? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rushin’ To The Bearing Speights
January 11, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 44 Commentsby: Adam
Wade’s out. Rip’s out. Stuckey’s out. Tyrus is out (again). Thornton My Side was out. Lawson is day-to-day. Hawes slammed his back and left after 10 minutes last night. Curry remains out. Beasley’s status was downgraded. Granger went from missing time due to food poisoning to foot poisoning, marking the first typo-related injury in NBA history. Please, blog, may I have some more?
No J From J.J. Is Okay Most Days
January 10, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 45 Commentsby: Adam
James Johnson scored only 5 pts, but grabbed 5 boards, blocked five shot, made 2-of-3 from the floor and sank a three. This is why he’s valuable. Skip the scoring. It’s not there. Won’t happen. Ignore it. Grab him anyway. Of all the secondary players that are still mostly available in fantasy leagues (>25 percent owned), Johnson is the player that really shouldn’t be unowned the most. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Minny’s Got Some ‘Splainin’ To Do, Says Ricky
January 9, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 48 Commentsby: Adam
The fact that Ricky Rubio still isn’t the starting point guard of the Minnesota Timberwolves is only batshizz crazy until you dump water over your head and remind yourself that this is the Minnesota squadron that couldn’t find a regular spot in the starting rotation for Kevin Love in his first two seasons, despite him never having a PER under 18 at any point during that time. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Commenter Master Standings (Updated: 1/6)
January 6, 2012 | Razzball Commenter Leagues | 38 Commentsby: Adam
The biggest swing week in fantasy basketball happened. It totally happened. I went to bed at the end of last week nervous as all get-out that this week wouldn’t happen, fell asleep, woke up and BOOM – week two!And it didn’t disappoint. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Infographic: Hail! Hail! (Of) Bullets
January 5, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 12 Commentsby: Adam
With the franchise now known as the Washington Wizards, and at one point known as the Chicago Packers, Zephyrs, or Baltimore, Capitol and Washington Bullets, I thought it might be fun to create a word cloud that showed the names of anyone who’s ever worn the teams’ jerseys with their names sized relative to the time with which which they were on the team. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Z-Bo Knows Torn Knee Ligaments
January 5, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 49 Commentsby: Adam
Trailing hot on the heels of yesterday’s Manu news (Manunus!) that he will be watching basketball from incredibly fantastic courtside seats for the next two months while wearing a $5,000 suit like the rest of us insanely wealthy society folk, comes the follow-up jab-cross-jab-hammer combo that Memphis forward Zach Randolph is also out a couple months with a slight tear in his knee. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Garbage Pail Kid 2012: Low-Riskin’ Tristan
January 4, 2012 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 37 Commentsby: Adam
This year’s fourth overall pick, Tristan Thompson, has some growin’ to do. He’s going to need to learn to distribute the ball at least a little better. In five games, he’s amassed two dimes. Two dimes in 10 days. That’s less than my great grandfather made selling a day’s worth of newspapers. Please, blog, may I have some more?
