I’m not sure how it works in the NBA, but in school or places of employment, your name partly determines where you fit in. No one clique ever really has two guys with the same name. Occasionally, there would be two dudes named Brett or something, but one of them always goes by a nickname or his last name. No one ever said, “Brett H. can ride with me, Brett R. called shotgun in the Jeep.” Seriously. I defy you to prove that sentence had ever been uttered before just now. So I don’t really know how the name thing works within the league. The league can’t hold two Dirks, I know that. It just can’t. Same thing with LeBron. There are four high-quality Kevins in the league, but Love is the only one without at least two nicknames. You have to assume that when the Raptors drafted Jonas Valanciunas from Lithuania, Detroit Swede Jonas Jerebko was capitally peeved. Both Jonas’ (Jonai?) are in the 6-foot-10, 240 range, surprisingly athletic, play for weak northern teams, and have names my grandma will almost certainly mispronounce, fitting similar sounds into the right amount of syllables. I’m thinking she’ll call one Jonesy Valencia and the other Jordan Jibco. Despite missing the entirety of the 2010 season Mr. Jibco showed massive potential after his rookie season and was touted in most leagues as a sleeper to target in the final rounds of you draft. Then you did and then you immediately had to drop him. Along with his motivation to be the league’s best Jonas, here’s why Detroit might have a sleeper not named Brandon Knight on its roster.
It’s hard to tell what the Pistons are going to look like at the start of the season; new coach, half a roster that is both old and likely immovable, and a few young guys around whom the team never intended to build. So that’s pretty sweet, huh Detroit? Like it or not, Daye, Monroe, Jerebko, and Knight are the future of this team.* I have faith that the Pistons can’t be worse than they were last season. There were too many management errors, too much in-fighting, too many stubborn missteps that turned a simple underachiever into one of the league’s laughing stocks. The Pistons will turn to their youth. Between the possibility of injury and the sapping of their older players’ skills, they’ll have to turn to their youth. Jerebko only averaged 28 minutes in 2010 and was only involved in 16 percent of the plays when he was on the court and he still managed 9/6, witha steal and 1 3ptm+blk per game with good percentages. He’ll play most of his time at the four-spot, where he’ll open the floor and cause a lot of bangers problems. The downside will be his underwhelming rebounds and his fouling put him in the jackpot a few too many times as a rookie, but then again, he was a rookie. Now he’s a sophomore with a junior’s amount of experience watching the NBA function. I don’t think he’ll come out shiny and polished like Blake Griffin did after his rookie furlough, but watching the game for a year helps. Playing for a directionless Pistons team that will likely try to roll its old line out there more than it should, won’t help. I also don’t think that tact will last. Detroit’s old line is busted and a few of them might be gone before the season starts. The window for Jerebko to repeat his 26-28 mpg is there and I think mild improvements in scoring and defense after a few months of re-acclimation are a given; something in the range of 1 3ptm/ 11.5 pts/ 6 rbd/ 2 ast/ 1 stl and a return to the final flyer pick in your draft seems about right.
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*If the “Knight and Daye” combo doesn’t stick (it totally needs to stick), I’ll spend all next summer working to get Milicic back in Detroit for the Darko Knight combo.
Let’s just get it out of the way now: I don’t follow college basketball. Every year, a new line of freshman enter the league and I think, “It would really be helpful if I knew anything about these guys.” Then a squirrel passes outside my window or a dust particle hitting the sunlight catches my eye and I’ve already forgotten what I was just thinking about. Ah well. Let me just spin the new Adele album on the ol’ record player and prepare for the draft. This year, I thought instead of pretending I knew what I was talking about, I’d go the other way with it and shine a spotlight on how uninformed I am by keeping a log of the thoughts I thought throughout the first 12 picks. Yeah, I could go to 11 pm CST like the broadcast said it was scheduled to go, but I knew by those 40-something picks, I’d be forced to spell a ton of Lithuanian names and I just wasn’t up for it. Let Spinal Tap go to 11. Me, I’m stopping at 12 (if that makes sense).
So here we go. Your 2012 NBA Draft!
6:32 – Oh-em-gee, ESPN is playing Adele just like me! Apparently, the ad wizards over at Disney wanted to reach the mighty, hoops fan with a penchant for retro alternative soul from the UK demographic. There are probably a lot of us out there.
6:33 – Stern walks out onto the floor being booed by the New Jersey crowd like he was the San Quentin warden. I don’t understand why a group of people enamored enough with the sport to buy a ticket to watch teenagers in suits wear awkward caps would boo the guy that made it all happen. It could be the impending lockout, but it’s more likely that people from Newark would boo Santa Claus while he was shimmying back up their roof.
6:34 – Stern congratulates the Dallas Mavericks on their championship win, and when the Jersey crowd goes silent, he comments on how good the crowd is. Had he congratulated Jason Kidd and the Dallas Mavericks for their championship win, we would have gotten to see three of Stern’s assistants trying to figure out a) how to remove a tie from one’s anus and b) how they were able to get it up there without unknotting it first.
6:36 – The shiny head quotient in the Bilas, Van Gundy, Barry, Scott pundit quartet is strong.
6:39 – The Cleveland Cavaliers pick Kyrie Irving from Duke University. Honestly, has any league ever had as many notable Irvin or Irvings in its history? Not even close. Somewhere the Clippers organization is putting together that they packaged Baron Davis and the rights to Irving for Mo Williams and, uh, lemme see here. I know I have the paper with the the other guy who went to L.A. in exchange for … ah! Here we go. Jamario Moon. Yup. L.A. could have had a Gordon, Griffin, Irving nucleus for the next 4+ seasons, and instead have EMo Williams and something called Jamario. Classic Clippers!
6:42 - Irving’s father is named Dredrick. Dredrick! There’s no way that guy isn’t seeing the final Harry Potter movie.
6:43 – “You can’t get a veteran in an NBA draft” – Jay Bilas, forgetting that Greg Oden will turn 70 later this year.
6:45 – The Minnesota Timberwolves select Derrick Williams from the University of Arizona. Speaking of Jamario Moon! Why the long face Derrick? This brings about Bilas’ first mention of wingspan. Everybody drink! He’s a 6-foot-8 efficient scorer who doesn’t rebound or defend much, who is probably more of a three than a four. Ugh. Williams, Michael Beasley, Anthony Randolph, Martell Webster … right off, I don’t love Williams as a fantasy option next year already.
6:50 – The Utah Jazz select Enes Kanter from Istanbul, Turkey and the University of Kentucky. Well, Stern, which one is it? Is he from Turkey or Kentucky. Can’t be from both. I don’t know anything about him, but the fact that he’s clearly just replacing Mehmet Okur as the Turkish quota of the Jazz makes me … I dunno, like him more, I guess.
6:52 – Kanter is the third Turkish player after Hedo Turkoglu in 2000 and Okur in 2001 to be taken in the first round of the NBA Draft. Kenyon Martin was the No. 1 draft pick in 2000 and Kwame Brown was the No. 1 pick a year later. These were known as two of the worst draft classes of all time. Good luck, Enes!
6:54 – ESPN really needs to consider turning on the pundits’ mics so that everyone in the arena can hear them, if for no other reason, just to see the reaction of the angry mothers turning around and screaming, “shut the f%@$ up!” every five minutes whenever Jon Barry talks about how weak this draft class is.
6:56 – JVG is trying out his Seinfeld material, “What’s the deal with the front office clapping after their pick is announced? They already knew who they were picking!” Mercifully, Cleveland’s second pick is coming up.
6:56 – The Cleveland Cavaliers pick Tristan Thompson from Toronto, Canada and the University of Texas. 2012: the year of the 6-foot-8 power forward. My only question is whether or not he’ll be able to grow out those Anderson Varejao big curls.
6:57 – Can we be done with the Cavaliers now?
7:01 – I’m hoping for at least one notable trade between now and 11 pm. Seriously, why the heck is this thing starting at 7:30 on the East Coast? People in L.A. are just going to be getting out of their Botox appointments (or whatever those people do) by the time the Cavs make their twelfth selection in this draft. They’re drafting after every three picks, right? On a side note, I told myself I’d be aligned with Cavs fans up to and including the NBA Finals, but as soon as that was over, I would no longer want to hear about how LeBron made them all cuckolds. It’s only been mentioned three times in the first half hour, but I’m over it. You have Kyrie Irving, who seems like a Tyreke Evans-type of player. He also seems like someone my grandmother is going to call Carrie Irwin no matter how hard I try to correct her. Kinda like how she still talks about that little Iver Allison from the Philadelphia 76ers.
7:02 – The Toronto Raptors select Jonas Valanciunas from Lithuania. Uh, okay. It was kinda worth it just to see Stern have to pronounce a long string of difficult international words. You gotta love a team that gets hammered for choosing a 7-footer labeled soft and then decides, “Screw it! Double-down! Double-down!”
7:07 – The Washington Wizards select Jan Vesely from the Czech Republic. The best part of this pick? Everyone got to see him deep kiss his super tall girlfriend. He’s known as the European Blake Griffin, I’d be super jazzed if he’s just the white Javale McGee. I’m calling it now, John Wall will lead the league in alley-oop assists this season. Irving will lead the rookie class and Chris Paul will lead the, Don’t-You-EVEN-Dare-Forget-About-Me class.
7:09 – A recent trade sent Corey Maggette to Charlotte along with the next pick. It doesn’t matter who they get here, this team ain’t doing nothing next season. Nothing. Milwaukee, on the other hand … well, we’ll wait a bit. I don’t want to give anything away.
7:10 – A ton of Euro players so far, which is fine except that they’re all too nervous to show off with flashy, obnoxious suits – which is, of course, the third best part of the draft behind exciting 11th hour trades from teams desperate to ruin their franchise and bored New York/New Jersey fans who entertain themselves by booing anything that moves.
7:11 – The Sacramento Kings (Charlotte Bobcats) select Bismack Biyombo from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Bismack! BIZ-MACK! Let me clear my throat, Bismacky! I haven’t been this immediately enamored with an athlete for reasons that have nothing to do with his athletic ability since Ben Wallace‘s afro.
7:13 – Five of the first seven picks were foreign-born. I’m not sure what this means, but I’m betting Lou Dobbs has something to say about all the American jobs the league is losing.
7:17 – Here comes the Commish. He looks tired, like he goes backstage and sucks down a quart of Gatorade like those old commercials with Jordan. Just a bunch of dudes playing playground hoops with a bigass cooler full of Gatorade. No biggie. Yeah, the cooler cost $70 to fill with Gatorade. No biggie. Yeah, MJ is just pouring that shizz down his face. No biggie. Anyway, Stern’s just praying the Pistons pick Jim Smith from UCLA instead of the next hot prospect to come out of Eastern Europe with a name that sounds like a Seuss-rhyme actors use to limber up their lips.
7:17 - The Detroit Pistons select Brandon Knight from the University of Kentucky. Close! I loved him when he sang with Bel Biv DeVoe.
7:19 – I’ve already forgotten Brandon Knight.
7:23 – The Charlotte Bobcats select Kemba Walker from the University of Connecticut. Most other drafts, this guy would have the best name. But not in Bismacky Draft 2011! No, sir! That said, what the Bobcats lack in scoring ability, they’ll gain in awesome name-ness.
7:24 – Honestly, is Walker going to backup Augustin? That doesn’t seem right. Eesh, this team is going to be bad, although Bilas really liked that pick. My girlfriend really liked it too because Walker is short and cried on his way up the stage. I guess she can relate. So that’s nice.
7:27 – What is a “Jimmer” and is it edible?
7:28 – The Bucks are choosing for the Kings because of the Maggette trade that sent Beno Udrih and Stephen Jackson to Milwaukee, Maggette and Biyombo to Charlotte and a fair amount of crap to Sacramento. Barry just alerted me that Jimmer was the top scorer in the nation last season and would be a great fit with Evans in Sac-town’s backcourt. then the camera cut to a shot of a clean-cut white kid who looks to have a degree in finance. This is a mixture that, when combined, don’t make for a long NBA career. When will Marcus Thornton get some love from you people? Seriously, the 10th pick in the draft led the NCAA in scoring last season? This is why I can’t stand college hoops.
7:29 - The Milwaukee Bucks (Sacramento Kings) select Jimmer Fredette from BYU. He’s from Utah!?! His last name sounds French!?! Aw, COME on! This pick has Tyler Hansbrough or J.J. Redick written all over it. You mean because all three are likely to start out slow as reserves for a couple seasons only to eventually find their place and really assist their respective ball clubs into gradually improving? Um, sure. we’ll go with that.
7:30 – T.J. Fredette and his kiddie contract are enough to make me root against Jimmer his entire career. Or at least refuse to ever call him Jimmer.
7:33 – Stu Scott, “Jimmer and T.J. used to go to the local prison in Glens Falls and play pickup ball against the inmates. His first game, he dropped 40 points on them.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? I have so many follow-up questions, Stu. You can’t just move on from this! Jim is 22 years old, when was he playing pickup games in jail? Do New York prisons just let kids walk into the prison yards and hoop it up? This feels like a story that has gotten out of hand. And even if it really is true, way to be an jerk, kid. “Boom! I just dropped 40 on you, I get to leave and you don’t and when I head on out past those gate doors, I’m going to get paid millions to do what I did here today! Glens Falls, baby! Glens Falls!” Isn’t this equivalent to LeBron’s “You’ll all wake up tomorrow and still be losers” sentiment that followed his Finals loss? Yeah, it’s official, I don’t like Jim Fredette.
7:34 – According to ESPN, the Kings will be playing Thornton at SF, which makes as much sense as going to the local prison to shoot around.
7:35 – The Golden State Warriors select Klay Thompson from Washington State University. Can we just see old footage of Mychal Thompson? I mean, it’s the Warriors. What can we really hope to learn about Thompson’s affect on Golden State? He’s going to play 15 mpgs on this team backing up Dorell Wright and Monta Ellis’ recently vacated position.
7:36 - Mychal Thompson clips! Booyah!
7:38 – I miss the Cavaliers already. And I have mixed feelings about ending this live blog on the Jazz.
7:41 – The Utah Jazz select Alec Burks from the University of Colorado. In the words of Steve Buscemi in Fargo, “Silence. Total f—ing silence.” If you had told me the Jazz were going to pick a kid from Colorado name Alec and asked me to guess which of the rookies he was, I’m 97.4 percent sure I would have pointed to a picture of Jim Fredette. Either that, or I would have just Googled a picture of Gordon Hayward and pointed to that.
7:42 – Bilas tells me Burks needs work on his “dribble game,” which seems to be as good of a place as any to end this blog. It’s been fun. Now it’s time to research how these dudes will fit (or not fit) into their respective rosters.
Wait, wait! Before I go, I had to comment on the awkward interview with Golden State’s new head coach Mark Jackson. Firstly, I’m pretty sure Jackson fell asleep in front of the camera five minutes before he went on and was awakened just as the camera cut to him. Secondly, Mark Jackson did not guarantee his team would make the playoffs, despite the fact that he said they would. There’s a difference between saying it and guaranteeing it. The difference being that one is confident and the other is bluster. Total sissy move. Be an Atheist if that’s how you feel, what’s all this Agnostic nonsense. Thirdly, Jeff Van Gundy wants to push Jackson off a tall building. I can’t prove it, but I just know it.
I’m going to have to be careful here, so as not to convince you Gary Neal is a cherry, when, in fact, he’s closer to a lemon. Do people even call good things “cherries” or did I just make that up? I’m not good with food metaphors as evidenced by my comparing Gary Neal to a lemon. He’s not really a lemon, either. More like lemon zest; tasty, but certainly not the most important ingredient on your plate. Last season Neal was a bargain basement find in deep leagues, a 26-year-old rookie who drained a relative ton of threes and gave owners above-average percentages for a SG (.451/.808). Gregg Popovich didn’t really understand what he had during the first 17 games of the season, but by December 1, he was well on his way to averaging 23 mpg/ 1.7 3ptm/ 11 pts/ 2.5 rbd – not bad for a guy most owners didn’t own at any point in the season. He wasn’t one of his team’s first offensive options, didn’t attack the rim enough, offered precious few secondary stats and is at the age that suggests this is his peak. Frankly, I don’t see much of this changing next season. Whew! Way to sell it! So to recap: Neal is an old lemon, with no more than one tool in his kit on a team that can afford not to use him. And look, here comes Sgt. Sarcasm. Hey Sarge, what do you think about Gary Neal? He sounds like a winner! The only concern now is whether he’ll still be available in the third round or if you’ll have to reach for him in the second! Way to go Sarge! You’ve done it again! Anyway, here’s what we can expect from Gary Neal in 2012 and what makes him a fantasy sleeper.
He was used very evenly in his rookie season, seeing his fair share of touches (20.6 USG%), but little else. This was in a season where Richard Jefferson missed only one game, Manu Ginobili was healthy for all but two and Tony Parker for all but four. The median age for those guys is 31 and if I were a betting man, I’d put my money on that trio missing a heckuva lot more than seven combined games next season. Besides George Hill, Neal developed into the go-to backcourt reserve. His late-season development (his APG doubled from 0.9 before the All-Star Break to 1.8 after it) mingled with his underrated efficiency (Only made 25 fewer threes than Ginobili, despite playing 741 fewer minutes; had the third highest FT% among qualifying Spurs; averaged the fourth best per36 scoring among qualifying Spurs after Parker, Ginobili and Duncan; and among the nine Spurs who averaged at least 19 mpg last season, only Matt Bonner had a lower turnover average (0.4) than Neal (1.0) and sprinkled with the lemon zest of Spurs injuries probable next season, it wouldn’t be ridiculous to predict incremental increases across the board from Neal. Figure 26 mpg/.465/.815/ 1.7 3ptm/ 12.5 pts/ 3 rbd/ 2 ast from a guy you can probably pick off waivers sometime in November, or in any other month for that matter.
Every once in a while when my DVR is empty and there are no dead cats in the alley for me to watch the raccoons chew on, I take a slow walk on over to my local post office and do a little pre-holiday shopping for my girlfriend. What holiday? Any holiday. That’s the secret to being a good mate, always be ready for the inevitable day in which you totally forgot to show up for some important occasion; birthdays, bat mitzvahs, the birth of your second child. Whatever. You never know. The point is, four out of every five street toughs that steal women’s purses off the street, dump the emptied bags into a mail box. So if you walk into the post office in a ritzy neighborhood and ask if anyone dropped your wife’s handbag into a mailbox, the chances of you coming up with last season’s Prada are pretty good. Your girlfriend, “The day’s almost over and you haven’t wished me a happy birthday. Did you forget?” You, “Heck no, honey! I was just waiting for the perfect time to present you with this new handbag.” Your girlfriend, “Why is there a slightly used billfold in here with someone else’s monogram on it?” You, “Who calls a wallet a billfold? What are you, 80 years old? I’m going to bed!” Anyway, the point is that you gotta know where to look to get good stuff on the cheap, or at least know how to ask. Dwight Howard said earlier this week that he wants to stay with Orlando, but will definitely become a free agent instead of signing an extension. That’s how to ask. Now it’s up to Orlando to know where to look to get good stuff on the cheap.
Here’s what else is going on in offseason fantasy basketball:
Yao Ming – His ankle is reportedly only 30 percent healed. He hasn’t played in well over half a year and Yao has said he needs to be at least 80 percent to play. By that math, it’ll be January before he’s 60 percent and April before he’s at 80 percent. By April 2012, he’ll have missed 17 months of basketball and still won’t be 100 percent. I love Yao. Big love for a big lug, but there’s no chance I’ll ever enjoy watching him play basketball again. You know how when someone describes a terrible injury they suffered and you suddenly feel phantom pains in the same area of your body? That’s how I feel just thinking about Yao.
Greg Oden – Geesh! Speaking of guys I cringe just thinking about: Oden won’t test his knee in a game until November. No preseason, no Opening Day, but the worst sign here is that EMOden is being referred to as a client. Nothing good comes from athletes being called clients.
Baron Davis – Despite reports that Cleveland is shopping Davis and Ramon Sessions hard this offseason, Byron Scott said that Baron Von D. will be his starting PG come Hell or high water next season. This suggests that a) hell already came, and Cleveland is hoping to see what high water is like, b) Scott might not have any idea what he’s talking about, which would be totally fitting for this franchise, c) Kyrie Irving won’t be worth a whole lot fantasy-wise next season until Davis injures himself in January, and d) I don’t have anything else, but I didn’t put “and” before “c)” so I felt I had to keep going. That’s my bad.
Ty Lawson – The Nuggets want Tyny Lawson to shoot more next season. He shot the ball 11 times a game last season and we loved him for it. If he shoots more than 14 in 2012, I’m tattooing “Tyny” on my junk. Wait … let me rethink this one.
Danilo Gallinari – George Karl said he expects Gallinari to “get more responsibility” next season. I’m assuming this means he’s getting put on dish duty. Look for the Rooster to have dishpan hands come December.
Brad Miller – Had microfracture surgery on his left knee a couple weeks back and won’t likely return to the court until January, which is great news if you’re Chuck Hayes and terrible news if you’re a squirrel within shooting distance of the front porch swing Miller will likely be relegated to ‘Rear Window’-style all autumn. You may go back to planning on not drafting him.
Chris Kaman – After jabbing the Caveman by stating it was making DeAndre Jordan the priority at center next season, the Clippers followed with the “Oh-yeah-we-are-also-interested-in-acquiring-Andre-Iguodala-for-Kaman” flurry of punches. Kaman’s a lame duck in L.A. He’s like Misha Barton, only prettier. On the bright side, Boston needs some meat in the middle because…
Nenad Krstic – Signed a two-year deal with CSKA Moscow. I’m telling you this because otherwise you would never have known.
DeShawn Stevenson – Arrested for public intoxication. I really hope someone called the cops and that the cops asked if the man they were calling about had any distinguishing marks. You know, like a large mole, birthmark, or tattoos of Abraham Lincoln on their jugular?
As I peeled myself off the linoleum floor, sucked down the last few drops of last night’s Bitburger beer and licked the crusted schnitzel off my fingertips, the memories of last night’s NBA Finals celebration reignited in my mind. Dirk is a champion. Kidd is a champion. Marion is a champion. Stojakovic is a champion. It’s like a decade of old guys from past glorious also-ran teams finally got theirs. The ’06 Mavs. The ’03 Nets. The ’05 Suns. The ’02 Kings.
And although I may have had Kraftwerk and ’99 Luftbaloons’ on repeat immediately following Dirk’s coffin nail layup with 30 seconds left to go in the fourth Sunday night, I didn’t really have a dog in the race, which is to say, I would have celebrated one way or the other. I had my Miami Sound Machine queued up on the ol’ iPod and a big bowl full of cocaine awaiting my face had the Heat acted like they wanted it this year. They didn’t. Strudel it is! No need for me to go on and on about Miami (that’s what the summer offseason is for!) I believe most of the Heat players feel there’s a decade’s worth of championships to be grabbed and if it didn’t happen this year, it’ll happen next year. Dallas felt it had to be this year and that’s why they won this thing in six. LeBron James has played remarkably well for most of the season. He’s the best player in the league (by far, I think) and the only thing stopping him from eradicating every record this league has to offer is his unwillingness to put his foot on the throats of his opponent. It explains his willingness to join his enemies on the Heat. It explains any shrinking he may or may not do in late game situations. It explains how a guy can get a triple-double and look terrible doing it and it explains the fourth quarter of Game 6. The Heat ebb and flow with LeBron James. Sorry Wade, they do. Any team in this league would. James ebbed through the second half and so Dallas blitzed every last member of the Heat.
Enough about Miami, one last Razzball look at both the Dallas Mavericks and the 2011 season:
Caron Butler – It always seems a little unfulfilling when the injured player gets a ring, but in Tuff Juice’s case, he deserves a ring because he got injured. Marion and Barea filled a mighty portion of the minutes Butler would have played and both of those guys were huge in portions of the playoffs that I don’t think Butler would have been huge in. Hang that, preposition!
Rodrigue Beaubois – Robo Bobo is still seen as the future of the Mavericks. That title sounded a lot better before there was nowhere to go but down.
Corey Brewer – Played 23 more minutes in the NBA Finals than you did. So there’s that.
Brian Cardinal – Nicknamed “The Custodian,” not the Janitor, not the Garbage Man. That’s how white Brian Cardinal is, even when he draws charge after charge or commits prescient foul after prescient foul, and earns a sweet reputation, they stick him with a proper nickname. Why not just call him “The Porter?”
Ian Mahinmi – Pronounced “Yahn Mahini.” Yawn. Wait, I take that yawn back (which gave me the hiccups after doing so) – Mahini did have a sweet scream in the pre-game huddle.
Peja Stojakovic – If I thought Peja had any idea why he was still in the league, I’d say he could peacefully retire now. But I don’t, so I won’t.
Tyson Chandler – Remember last season when Bobcat G.M. Michael Jordan nixed a deal that would send Chandler to Toronto? His nixin’ (Nixon?) allowed perhaps Dallas’ final piece to fit on the roster in the offseason. M.J. – 7, LeBron – 0.
J.J. Barea – He had the second-most assists on the team throughout the playoffs. Seventy-one dimes, one dime for every inch of his height.
Jason Kidd – The narrative for this championship has belonged to Nowitzki, but Kidd is probably more vindicated than Dirk here. He’s been to the Finals one more time than Dirk, been surrounded by a worse cast than Dirk and is six years older than Dirk. He’s well past his prime and not as likeable, but he’s in the conversation as a top 3 point guard of all-time. You want to see guys like that win one. You just do.
Shawn Marion – If you pointed to the roster of the 2005 Suns and told me that one, but only one, of these guys would win a ring in the next six seasons, Marion would have been my fifth choice.
Jason Terry – Find a picture of Jason Terry’s head. Measure the space from his eyes up. Then measure the space from his eyes down to his chin. The top half is way bigger. From this point henceforth, you’ll never NOT think about that when you look at Jason Terry.
Dirk Nowitzki – From my girlfriend last night, “From his knees down, Dirk has legs like an old ‘80s player. All pale, with thick socks and big white shoes.” And if that alone doesn’t make you love the NBA Finals MVP and solidify him in your mind as one of the 30 greatest players of all-time, nothing will. Nothing. Nichts. Ninety-nine dreams Dallas has had / They dream of Dirk and let ’em goooooo
