It’s easy to get lost in one’s own thoughts writing an unending stream of fantasy basketball foofaraw. Just yesterday I wrote a letter to EA Sports requesting they program Eva Longoria and Khloe Kardashian into the new NBA Jam Wii cheat codes so I can settle a bet with my buddy who would make the best player among all the NBA wives and girlfriends.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Monthly Archives: October 2010
The air is crisp, the leaves are turning, rows and rows of stale caramel apples assault me as soon as I enter my local grocery store. Seriously, why do they assume caramel and nuts insulate the apple from going bad? Just because you dipped an August McIntosh in caramel doesn’t mean it’ll stay fresh ’til October.
Please, blog, may I have some more?If the Raptors make it out of the season with anything better than one of the five worst records in the league, Canadians everywhere should celebrate – or whatever it is Canadians do in lieu of celebrating. I’ve never actually seen a group of Canadians celebrate anything.
Please, blog, may I have some more?You gotta have a draft day routine; the things you do or eat or wear to ensure you’re in the best possible zone while picking players that you will spend the next nine months swearing at. What do you mean Troy Murphy might miss the start of the season?
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s not always easy to keep perspective. Like when the 410 lb. orca whale purchasing $30-worth of Burger King for himself double-checks with the cashier that the soda he was served is Diet. But we here at Razzball know how difficult maintaining perspective can be, especially when you’re drunk and trying to sketch moving objects.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In a tragedy fit for Dick Van Dyke, Chicago’s Carlos Boozer threw off everyone’s draft rosters earlier this week by tripping over a bag on his way to answering the doorbell and breaking his hand. What is Boozer’s house like that there is no clear path to the front door?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Auction drafting: my favorite time of the year. You can keep your Sweetest Day and your Arbor Day. Give me auction draft day. It’s the only time where friends and strangers alike converge in one place and sweat it out uncomfortably all afternoon.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The single most important tool to have in a fantasy auction draft is an efficient way to examine the big picture at any point in the process. I get a lot of questions about so-and-so being worth such-and-such money. The answer is almost always … “heavens to Betsy, no!” When I’m surprised by a question, I revert to exclamations from the 40s.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s not always easy to keep perspective. Like when the 410 lb. orca whale purchasing $30-worth of Burger King for himself double-checks with the cashier that the soda he was served is Diet. But we here at Razzball know how difficult maintaining perspective can be, especially when you’re drunk and trying to sketch moving objects.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ve had a couple requests lately for a post about draft pairings through the first two rounds. I planned on publishing 1,500 words on the value of calling Shaquille O’Neal the “Big Shamrock” instead of “Ordeal O’Neal,” but it occurred to me that 1,470 of those words would probably be unprintable.
Please, blog, may I have some more?