Oh man, Russell Westbrook has turned into Oscar Robertson meets Michael Jordan! It’s like the first time you heard your favorite off-the-radar album, you’re like, “it sounds like Godspeed You! Black Emperor meets Between the Buried and Me on acid!” And right at the end of yet another tripdub with monster scoring Friday night (40/13/11), Andre Roberson pulled a Van Damme from Kickboxer and kneed the shizz outta RW’s face. Friggin’ Roberson and his fat knees! After the game, the fashion photographers were like, “Russell, show me your good side, no no the other way, give me Le Tigre! Ferrari! MAGNUM!”
Luckily facial reconstruction for face dents doesn’t include a long healing period; maybe they just went in under the skin and used a Pops A Dent! It’s been reported he could’ve even come back yesterday if it were the playoffs. I’d guess he’ll miss another game or two, but looks like we dodged a bullet. More like, Westbrook’s cheek caught the bullet, just it bounced off his Adamantium! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:
George Hill – Tripdub alert! 15/10/12/2/1 against the Cavs B unit on Friday night, while Blatt satt LeBron (catnap) and Kyrie Irving (shoulder). Followed it up with a solid 17/9/4/2/0 last night. After that little lull, his past 3 have been mas bien! (no idea if that’s right…)
Isaiah Canaan – Ugh. Looks like Canaan belongs in D Minors! Handel jokes! Shot 3-11 Friday then only 2-8 last night in 22 minutes apiece. Pretty brutal he ceded the majority of PG minutes to Ish Smith who went 2-10 FG and 2-6 FT Friday night! Although more brutal is that the Sixers won that game against the Wizards Friday night! Sorry Wiz fans… Even more brutal is this new Periphery album! Oh, and yeah, you can drop Canaan everywhere.
Nerlens Noel – Better late than never working really good here! 14/13/3/2/3 rainbow on Friday then 10/12/1/1/3 last night hitting 6-6 FT. Actually 26-32 (81.3%) from the stripe the past 5 games in a really high volume. It’s easy to forget it’s his rookie year as well. I am gonna love me some sleeper Captain N heading into 15-16.
Elfrid Payton – “What did the young professional run into while listening to Pink Floyd?” The Wall! Horrific weekend, and before James Borrego put Elfrid on the Shelfrid for good, Payton was 0/1/1/0/0 in 13 minutes. Benched in favor of… Willie Green?! Yikes. I wouldn’t drop Payton everywhere yet, he was doing just fine until running into this rookie wall, but if you need more for-sure production, I couldn’t blame ya.
Jeff Teague – Bum hammy. Makes it a bum whammy for Teague/Champ Kind owners.
Dennis Schroder – Huge short-term pickup, going sauerkraut on the Heat for 16/4/10 Saturday. Ich lieben die Schoder!
Jonas Jerebko – After two of the flukiest games in recent memory, fell back down to earth like Icarus for only 12 minutes of nothingball against the Warriors last night.
Mo Williams – Taking the torch from D.J. Augustin as pickup of the year right now. 31/7/4 Friday night with 6 treys then 23/4/11 with 4 treys last night. Mo Will hittin’ the Mo Trills!
Andrea Bargnani – Il Diva strikes again! That’s right, Andrea Bargnani is back into fantasy relevance. Ugh. Huge 25/12/4/1/1 Friday night in the 2OT win, and a still usable-ish 19/3/1/0/0 with a trey and 6-7 FT against his former Raptors Saturday. At 19% owned in Yahoo, he’s still out there, and I mean as long as he’s getting minutes and has a pulse, he’ll put up a couple nice lines. Wow. Bargnani support. It physically hurts me. But humor cuts through the pain – I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!
Draymond Green – Ridiculous. 17/9/2/2/3 rainbow line on Friday night with 3 treys and has been unreal his past 4 after a mini-lull.
Kyle Lowry – After a horrific showing and sustaining a minor injury in the home blowout loss to the Warriors, got sat yesterday and will probably sit again tonight. In stocks they tell you to buy low and sell high, and it can’t be much lower!
Henry Walker – He’s turned into 6th man J.R. Smith. Bench ThrAGNOF! The Heat 10-dayer for 16 Pts on 4 treys Friday, and got a surprise start against the Hawks last night for 10 Pts on 2 treys. Shot an atrocious 3-16 though… Lay off your brother Johnnie’s drink!
Goran Dragic – Could probably use a few shots of Johnnie’s drink though! He’s questionable tonight after playing through back spasms, and would blow to miss it going against his former Suns. Mario Chalmers would be a nice streamer if no Dragon.
Alexis Ajinca – Whoa, got an NBA Jam “HE’S ON FIRE!” on Friday night! 9-10 FG 24/8/0/0/3 in only 22 minutes off the pine. Still a solid 10/6/3/1/1 last night also in 22 minutes. For a streaming big, he should give ya a couple points and a block.
Nikola Pekovic – Stop me if you’ve heard this before! He’s hurt. And not from that shiner on his eye! More issues with the kankle, and had to come out early Saturday against the Grizz. Choo choo! Time to be sure and hop on the Dieng train! Get Gorgui Dieng everywhere…
Jimmy Butler – Ruh roh. Hurt his elbow yesterday, and thankfully he’s not a pitcher. Getting an MRI today, but very likely missing tomorrow. Tony Snell has been playing hotter than Karen Gillan (mmmmm, redheads) so nab him everywhere!
Taj Gibson – Bulls dropping like flies! Hurt his ankle Friday and was spotted in Das Boot yesterday. Damn these kankles! Means a healthy dose of minutes for…
No Minutes Mirotic – …Nikola Mirotic! And N-tic (eh, that nickname just reminds me of Pero Antic…) went ham on Sunday for 29/9 with two treys in 31 minutes against the Clips. While Gibby isn’t feeling shibby, grab that N-tic!
Jarrett Jack – Still coming off the bench for the forever-kankled Deron Williams, but got 31 minutes for 14/1/4 next to Deron’s 34 in an upset of the Mavericks Saturday night. Combo guards be workin’ and Markel Brown can be back to twerkin’ on the bench! Wait, can you twerk while sitting down?
Mason Plumlee – Played well other than the FT (14/10/2/1/3 & 4-9 FT) in 31 minutes against Dallas, with Brook Lopez only playing 15. A back-to-back set, maybe Brolo got some extra rest, he is Mr. Glass and everything… Not getting re-excited for Prof. Plum just yet.
Spencer Hawes – Rainbow alert! 7/4/3/2/2 Friday then 14/9/1/1/3 with a couple of treys last night. Not playing huge minutes as the starting 4, but hitting that multi-cat!
Will Barton – Is he the best Nug right now? Don’t be smug with the slam of the Nug! 22/2/2 Friday then 16/10/0/2/0 last night. Getting pretty big minutes as they seem to have given up on the extended Gary Harris developmental run. I’m interested in WB, as long as he doesn’t merge with UPN.
Ray McCallum – Pretty decent weekend going 20/0/3 on 10-17 shooting Friday then 12/2/5 last night. It’s not huge and any time he struggles it’ll mean it’s Andre Miller Time (!), but I’d rather Ray-Mac than Canaan. Miller did have a nice 12/10 dimebag last night, so he could be a little deep-league assists streamer.
Michael Carter-Williams – Ya know, I love my Brewers and kinda like the Bucks (still more a Hornets fan if I had to pick, but not big really on either) and had a soft spot for them since I love Brandon Knight, but I’m hoping this trade costs them the playoffs. MCW was awful Friday in a horrible loss to the Lakers, then played a tad better Saturday night for 16/5/3/4/0, but another 3 TO and a loss to the Jazz.
Jeremy Lin – We’re bringing back the Linsanity! 14/5/6 in that win against Milwaukee, then a humungo 20/6/8/3/0 last night losing to the Thunder. Of course, if Westbrook’s face wasn’t dented like the side of a Campbell’s can, it might’ve been a different story…
Reggie Jackson – Even worse than a dented cheek, numerous kankles and a hyperextended elbow, R-Jax getting benched was like a kick in the nards! 9/3/7 Saturday night, only playing 23 minutes as Stan Van went to the hot Spencer Dinwiddie for 20/4/8 in 25 minutes off the bench. Dinwiddie isn’t ready to be that hot every night, so R-Jax should be fine. But if Dinwiddie does play huge when given run, it might scare R-Jax out of Detroit in free agency!
Michael Beasley – Your first reaction should be, “he’s still in the NBA?” Second reaction, “should I care”. Third reaction, “Beasley is a bum!”
Alexey Shved – Getting some run while Jose Calderon is out with a strain in his Achilles (that will likely cost him a good bit of time), and had 11+ points in 3 straight and 9 dimes the past two games. It’s low end, but it’s a non-Knicks starter we’re talking here!
Al-Farouq Aminu – Efficient rainbow alert! 4-4 FG (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 12/5/2/4/2 with no TO in one of the cleanest rainbows to date. While spiffy, his minutes are inconsistent especially with Chandler Parsons about ready and hoping to be back tonight.
Brandon Knight – Ugh, with 24 points at halftime I was wondering if Phoenix would even break 50 Saturday night! Losing Knight was a toughie; he was playing through a hip issue in 17 awful minutes before coming out early. Might miss a couple, but doesn’t sound too serious. Although that sounds eerily familiar to the Darren Collison timeline… Please don’t be that bad!
Tristan Thompson – Outplayed Healthcare.Mozgov yesterday in a 14/19/1/2/1 line in 38 minutes to only 18 for Mozzy Bear. TT and Mozgov are very different C, and with no Dwight Howard and a collection of PF/C there in Houston, this makes sense. Not losing Timofey Mozgov for this one.
LeBron James vs. James Harden – A big fantasy debate heading into the year, probably could still be one now, and dueling rainbow lines yesterday! King James for 37/8/4/3/3 and Harden for 33/8/5/3/2. But the most important stat is the W, so advantage Harden!
D.J. Augustin – With Westbrook a cheeky fellow, 18/9/5 for DJ with 4 treys. Hopefully you snatched him back up for these few spot starts!
Randy Foye – Dammit! I thought this was happening right away, but after wallowing on the bench, Foye finally got his first start this year for 19/0/3/0/0 on 7-13 FG (5-10 3PTM). Maybe it’s good I hopped off the Foye wagon. ThrAGNOF!
Streamers/Cheap Daily League Picks:
Greivis Vasquez (11% owned) – Off a nice 14/3/6 game against the Knicks, Lowry getting benched one more game to heal up should give Vasquez a monster opportunity against the terrible Sixers tonight.
Adreian Payne (1% owned) – A gut feeling here! With Pekovic likely out and Dieng starting, big minutes should be there for Major Payne. While he hasn’t done all that much yet, I think he could be a surprising trey or two, bock or two kinda play.
I hope everyone had a great weekend, and we’ll catch ya tomorrow!