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Last week, I gave you my Top 10 for 2017 Fantasy Basketball. Today, I present the Top 15 after the Top 10. Since I’ve included the link for the Top 10, it’s technically the Top 25 but not really. Top 15 after Top 10 just doesn’t flow off the tongue properly, so I’ll just go with Top 25. Plus, it’s so cumbersome and annoying for me to write. Similar to if I had to spell out Giannis Antetokounmpo every time. Sure, I could just copy and paste it, but what if I had to copy and paste something else? What if I had to turn off my computer and re-copy and paste? I ain’t got time for that nonsense! Bing! Lightbulb suddenly appears over my head, which is good because my halo is now illuminated. From this day on, I shall call Giannis Antetokounmpo, G. I believe that gets G up to five nicknames now, right? That has to be the dopest nickname of all time. Hear me out. One-names were all the rage back in the day. Cher, Prince, Pele, etc…but then Prince took it to another level by eschewing letters altogether and just going with a symbol. But you know what? A symbol, while cool, is difficult to write. It’s also very difficult to utilize on the computer, although, it’s pretty amazing that people figured out a way to do it. Anyways, G is already on the keyboard. Yes, you do have to press Caps Lock or Shift to get it right, but…damn, you lazy!! Who else do you think of when I say G? When I say G, you say what? G. Anus. See?  No bueno. It’s a good thing no one ever reads intros. Well, at least I will know who didn’t read this intro when I get the inevitable, “What does G stand for?”

As always, big shout-out to Slim, who provided projections and insight.

11) Demarcus Cousins

Congratulations! You have discovered Easter Egg #2. You either know what I’m talking about or you don’t. For those that don’t, scroll up and click on the link in the first sentence. I’m calling Cousins, Cuz, because I’m a lazy f’er. Cuz is a beast. He’s so skilled and agile for a man his size.

With that said, he can check out of a game both literally and figuratively. That’s the risk, but I do realize that there is tremendous upside, especially if AD gets hurt. After getting traded to the Pelicans, the shot attempts and usage went down a bit, but he still produced. The only other issue I have with Cuz is that he falls in love with the jumper too much at times. I think that shows up most in the precipitous decline in free throw attempts from 10 all the way down to seven attempts per game. I get it. He has a great J, but he can pretty much get to the rim at will. Anyways, I hate him enough to put him at 11, yet I love him enough to put him at 11. Capisce?

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.455.7701.823.511.53.81.41.33.634

12) Rudy Gobert

I initially had Jimmy Butler slotted here, but decided on Rudy. Was it due to watching Rudy on cable? I cut the chord years ago, so no. Butler is good across the board, but Rudy is ELITE in three categories: blocks, rebounds, and field goal percentage. With the addition of Ricky Rubio and deletion of Gordon Hayward from the roster, Gobert could see both his field goal attempts and points scored increase this season. The free throw percentage isn’t great, but it’s not Ben Wallace-esque.


Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.650.665016.012.21.30.72.71.934

13) Jimmy Butler

Make no mistake about it, Butler is the alpha for the Timberwolves. As it is in the wild, alphas get first dibs at kills. What do you know, he will also be reunited with Thibs. This reminds me of Game of Thrones. Thibs is Bran Stark, the three-eyed raven, who is able to see all and will guide the Timberwolves to the promised land. Butler is Summer, Bran’s Direwolf, who defends and is by the side of Thibs at all times. Let’s all forget about the part where Summer dies protecting Bran. Or should we? Is GOT actually a prophesy for Timberwolves basketball? Anyways, the only category that Butler doesn’t contribute much is in blocks. Other than that, he fills the stat sheet. The beautiful thing about this situation is you know that Butler is getting huge minutes, barring injury of course. There’s also been some chatter that Thibs may play small ball, which could lead to an increase in pace? Well, wolves do hunt in packs and are nimble and agile.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.455.8601.422.55.85.11.80.52.236

14) John Wall

Only three players averaged over 10 assists per game last season and only two players averaged over two steals per game. Wall was one of the players in both categories. He was also one of only four players to average more than four turnovers per game. Psshhawww. Turnovers schmurnovers. The only other knock on Wall St. is the lack of a downtown, but that’s why God created JJ Redick on the Sixth Day before resting. While the Lord was resting on the Sabbath, Son created a new nickname: Wall Street because he prints money and is highly proficient at thievery.

Image result for john wall dance gif

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.445.8001.222.54.410.41.90.64.136

15) Lebron James

Bron will be 33 years old. Shakes head. Damn, where did the time go? Anyways, I feel like many are writing him off, myself included. I initially had him ranked in the 20s, but I settled here at 15. The free throw percentage sucks. 67%? Really, Bron? Stop posting shit on Snapchat and practice your damn free throws! And the turnovers are high at 4.1 per game. I always feel that he should have more blocks. With that said, he’s in phenomenal shape and plays heavy minutes. Plus, he’s a triple-dub threat any time he’s on the court. I think word of his demise have been greatly exaggerated. Now, he’s going to miss a few games here and there due to the NBA schedule, but there’s a chance he goes full FU mode this year due the Kyrie saga and fact that this is probably his last year in Cleveland. As a Lakers fan, I just hope he doesn’t go too hard, as I want some tread left on those tires when he’s a Laker.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.530.6901.525.57.78.01.20.63.836

16) Damian Lillard

I love Lillard’s game. He’s so smooth when he moves around. Reminds me of a running back probing for holes, then exploding when he sees daylight. He’s a strong finisher at the rim and his J is so silky. When creating a player in NBA 2K, I’d use Lillard’s shot. There are just some strokes that are easier to shoot with. Anyways, his minutes and usage rates are high and he will contribute across the board, except for blocks. He has the ability to drop a fifty burger any night. Dame doesn’t get too high or too low. He just balls and flows.

Dame Dolla. So smooth on and off the court.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.440.9003.027.04.76.11.00.22.736

17) Myles Turner

I just watched a shit ton of Myles Turner highlights with Miles Davis playing in the background. The day of my wedding, the birth of my children, and completing a wonder in Civilization were the only times I’ve been more happy. I think Myles has a chance to crack the Top 10 next season. He’s already a defensive force, as he was third in blocks per game last year. On offense, Myles can do it all. His shot is so good because he has a high, quick release. He doesn’t jump high on it, but because he’s so tall, he doesn’t need to. He has range out to 20 feet, which makes him deadly in pick-and-pop. If he does dive or roll, he’s explosive enough to hammer it in grills. Down in the post, he has great footwork that enables him to display a bevy of moves, but it’s that high, quick release that really makes him deadly. He can face up and, either, drive past a defender or shoot it real quick. The free throw percentage was 81% last season and he’s only 20 years old!!! The one negative to his game is in the rebounding department, as he was only at 7.3 last year. I gotta imagine that with his athleticism the rebound numbers will increase. Now, I haven’t even mentioned that Paul George is no longer on the team! I gotta imagine that Myles should/will be the focal point of the offense.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.495.8000.817.57.71.51.02.31.634

18) Kristaps Porzingis

Which nickname for Porzingis is your favorite? A) Zinger B) KP6 C) Unicorn D) Godzingis E) Porzingod. Zinger is alright. Compact but can lead my brain to other associations. I hate KP6. Lazy. But Son!! Your nickname of G for player I will not spell from now on? Well, that’s laziness from physical exertion. KP6 is mental laziness. Much thought went into the formulation of G. To derive the essense in the most efficient manner possible took much time and thought. Fine, you got me. I just hate nicknames that take the first letter from each name and slap on the jersey number. The only one that it works for is anyone with a first name that starts with P and a last name G with the #13. Unicorn is okay but makes him seem soft and cuddly. As Michael Rapaport says, he is the Lativian gangster. I like Godzingis but the winner for me is Porzingod. Since I’m a lazy f’er, I will just use PGod. Ok, enough about nicknames. PGod can do it all and, at 7′ 3″ 240 pounds, is a matchup nightmare. If only Melo would get traded already! I’d probably put PGod ahead of Myles if that was the case. As it stands, he’s just a notch below.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.460.8101.920.57.41.60.82.12.034

19) Draymond Green

Easter Egg #3. Three down, two to go. Here are the categories that decreased for Dray last season: minutes played, field goal attempts, field goal percentage, three-point percentage, free throws made and attempted, rebounds, and points. Whew. So why do I have him at 19? He led the league in steals at 2.03 per game and he contributes in every category. For a player with a relatively low usage rate, it’s remarkable what he does for both real and fantasy teams. Also, Golden State plays at such a fast pace that there are more opportunites to accumulate stats. As I mentioned in the Curry section, I do think there’s a chance that the Warriors take it to another level this year. If so, Green will be an integral part of that.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.445.7101.211.58.27.01.81.42.432

20) Kyrie Irving

Drew was such a tough one for me to rank. From a pure talent perspective, he’s close to, if not in, the Top 10. From a fantasy perspective, he’s Top 25 for sure but is he closer to 10 or 25? He’s one of the preeminent scorers in the game and can break down anyone off the dribble. One does not receive the nickname of Ankletaker if one is not. He contributes a little bit in rebounds, assists, and steals. Key word being little. Now, there are two concerns for me. The first is usage. He shot a career-high 19.7 shots per game, which translated into a career-high 25.2 points per game. Is that sustainable? Which brings me to my other concern. What’s his situation going to be? I can’t rank him on another team until he’s actually on that other team. But….I can’t imagine him being on the Cavaliers. So, how do I rank him? Am I to believe that everything would be hunky dory between he and Lebron? I don’t know about you, but I’ve completely phased out guys on the court before. With that said, I have to lean on the side of his usage coming down.

UPDATE on 8/22:

Beep beep beep. Important message in 3…2…1…

Kyrie has been traded to the Boston Celtics. I would still probably rank him in this area, as his usage and volume should go down but the efficiency should improve. It’s going to be exciting to see him operate in a Brad Stevens offense.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.465.8902.223.53.15.91.30.32.636

21) Hassan Whiteside

Led the league in rebounds last season, was tied for eighth in field goal percentage, and fourth in blocks per game. You’re not getting any three’s or assists and the free throw percentage takes a hit. With that said, the blocks and boards are elite. There’s a reason he’s nicknamed Agent Block and Count Blockula. He was also tied for fourth, with Gobert, for the most double-doubles in the league last season.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.575.640017.010.50.70.72.62.032

22) Paul George

PG-13 really is the perfect nickname for George. The Motion Picture Association of America has five designations for movies: G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17. G rated movies are intended for all ages. There’s “no sex and nudity, substance abuse, or realistic/non-cartoon violence.” On the opposite end of the spectrum, NC-17 has it all. PG-13 rated movies have a little bit of everything, but not too much of anything. That’s exactly what Paul George gives you. Ok, maybe George could be an R, as he provides a lot of nudity (i.e. points) but it’s not gratuitous. Now, PG-13 has moved to OKC from Indiana. Is there reason for concern, especially since he is now on a team with Russell Westbrook? PG-13 will get so many open looks and cheapies due to Russ breaking down defenses. Also, PG-13 will be given chances to do his thing. When Russ and KD played together, they were both given opportunites to ISO. I think the key aspects to this situation are that both players will probably be willing to accommodate each other. Russ had his FU tour last season and proved his point. I think he tones it down and defers a little bit to PG-13 because the relationship is fresh and it’s more about team this year. PG-13 seems to have a chill personality, so he’s not going to ruffle feathers or be a diva. In true PG-13 fashion, he wants a movie that the whole family can enjoy. Plus, he’s going to the Lakers next season with LeBron, so no need to expend too much energy, right? Anyways….

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.450.8852.921.06.63.21.60.32.736

23) Kyle Lowry

Like most things Canadian, Lowry is often overlooked. Can I call him KLow? No? C’mon! KLow is on the Down Low! Here’s a little side observation. Canadians are known for being super duper nice people. Hockey players are known to be some of the toughest and meanest SOBs on the planet. If most Canadians play hockey, then….“Shocking, Most People in Canada Don’t Play Hockey.”  “According to the latest research paper published by Canadian Heritage in 2013, only 4.4% of people over the age of 16 played hockey in 2010.” Stupid internet. Anyways, KLow is overshadowed by his own teammate, DeMar DeRozan, when it comes to usage rate at least. DeRoz had a 34.2% rate while KLow was at 24.9%. With that said, he plays a boat load of minutes (37.4 mpg), attempts 7.8 3’s pg, averages 22.4 ppg, and drops seven dimes pg. He even chips in 1.5 steals pg.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.430.8152.820.54.76.71.50.32.936

24) Isaiah Thomas

I initially had IT2 waaaaaay lower. I wanted to fade him sooooooo bad. The usage was going to come down after a ridiculous 2016 season. The Celtics acquired Gordon Hayward in free agency and Jason Tatum in the draft. There was talk of hip surgery. But then I remembered people have been trying to fade him throughout his career and look where he’s at now. Then I saw this over the summer:

Then I remembered he’s a freaking star. Will he get a ton of rebounds and blocks? No. He’ll drop some dimes and get some steals, but at the end of the day, he puts the ball in the basket. And that is the easiest way to accumulate fantasy production. My initial thought to the whole Celtics situation was that the newly acquired players would be a detriment for IT2. Now, I’m beginning to think they could enhance his ability. The floor will be better spaced on offense and, on the defensive end, it will be a little easier to hide IT2 due to their versatility. I’m surprised the C’s didn’t trade him, considering that they like to accumulate assets. I don’t think there’s any way they sign him to an extension. With that said, either scenario is a good one for fantasy because they a) believe he’s a star or b) will use every last ounce of his ability before letting him go.

UPDATE 8/22/17:

IT is now in Cleveland. I repeat. IT is now in Cleveland. I think this is a fine spot to leave him in the rankings. The minutes may come down a smidge with DRose on the roster. With that said, when he’s on the court, he’s going to do his thing and may get more open looks playing along LeBron.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.445.8802.825.02.75.60.90.12.634

25) Paul Millsap

The final player in my Top 10 was Jokic. It’s only fitting that the last player in my Top 25 is Sap. As you can see, I’m super high on the Nuggets this year. The combo of Jokic and Sap could be a beautiful one. They both can shoot from outside and pass like guards. Sap was 0.1 short on blocks to be the sixth player of the 1/1/1 club last year. I think he gets there this season. The pace that the Nuggets play at just affords more opportunites to accumulate stats.

Slim’s projection:

FG%FT%3PPTSTRBASTSTLBLKTOVMP
.470.7601.117.58.03.21.31.02.232