We have already delighted you with controversy and angst, ranking Dwight Howard in the top ten at the expense of the beloved reincarnation of the Christ child (or the deity of your choice), Andrew Bynum. In the original commandments given to Moses, God warned, “Thou Shalt Not List Any Other Above Andrew Bynum.” At the end of the season when Bynum is the MVP with 30.3 PPG, 19.7 RPG, and 5.3 BPG, you can stand and look down at me as I endure the eternal torment of fantasy hell. “How did you like Howard’s free throw percentage?”, you will cackle at me. “It wasn’t anywhere near as nice as Bynum’s!” Oh, how you’ll laugh. Well, anyway, here’s some other players I like better than Bynum:
11. DeMarcus Cousins – I am going to have to go to some Community College English classes (and not just because of all the spelling and grammatical errors in my posts), because I need to come up with many more terrible puns involving romance with Cousins. The Line of DeMarcus-tion just turned 22 years old and has all the promise in the world, including the promise your mother made to you that she would not let anything bad happen to you. Give that back, DeMarcus! This will be his third season in the NBA, so I am hoping for an increase in minutes along with some experience to smooth out some of the rough edges. Frankly, if I was drafting in your league, I would focus my attention elsewhere in the first round and target D.C. as my sniper pick in the second round. Projections: .455 fg/.712 ft/0.0 3pt/20.1 pts/12.4 rbd/2.1 ast/1.3 stl/1.1 blk/3.2 tov
12. Deron Williams – I don’t like point guards with uninspired field goal percentages, because it invariably hurts their three point goals. Nevertheless, Of Ron still has an acceptable 3PG line with a delicious helping of assists. The arrival of Joe Johnson could impact his PPG, and his horrific turnover rate would infuriate Gordon Ramsey, but in a position that can get a little squirrely the deeper you go, I like a guy who can provide solid numbers in the stats I want from my point guard – threes, assists, and steals. Projections: .430 fg/.833 ft/1.7 3pt/20.8 pts/3.8 rbd/9.7 ast/1.1 stl/0.3 blk/3.7 tov
13. Andrew Bynum – Ugh, why is he ranked so high? Well, because he’s good. I’ve gone over my reservations here (yes, it is ironic I criticize his FT% considering where I played Howard). Bynum absolutely can be a #1 center as soon as this season. I don’t have as short term memory as some people…what? Where am I? Oh, I don’t have as short term memory as some people do, however. The guy has spent his career banged up, and in seven seasons, he’s only scored more than 15.0 PPG once – last year. If you ignore his first six seasons, Bynum is the undisputed stud at the center position. I just can’t do that. I won’t ignore history like you Holocaust deniers out there. Is Bynum top 5? Yes. Top 3? Maybe. Top 1? You know, I live across the river from Philadelphia, and since the trade went down, I have heard nothing about Bynum on sports talk radio. Granted, I spend a lot of time in my car scanning every radio station looking for Wide Awake, but only because it is the musical milestone of the 21st Century. When I do listen to local sports talk radio, they’re too focused on the Eagles to even toss a belch towards basketball. Hopefully, I can join in and not have to talk about Bynum anymore until the season starts. Projections: .565 fg/.680 ft/0.0 3pt/17.5 pts/11.5 rbd/1.2 ast /0.5 stl/2.0 blk/2.5 tov
14. LaMarcus Aldridge – I have as much love for LeMarcus as I have for DeMarcus, and it’s nice they give me such happiness considering their teams bring such sadness. Aldridge will be the focal point of his team’s offense and shall continue to deliver positive ratios in FG% and FT%. It would be sweet if he could ever reach 10 RPG, but I’m not seeing that happening, unfortunately. Still, he will be a steady source for boards with a block or so per game. Projections: .510 fg/.800 ft/0.0 3pt/21.2 pts/8.5 rbd/2.5 ast/0.9 stl/1.1 blk/2.2 tov
15. Carmelo Anthony – Melo had some rough patches last season, and he’s not in the same tier as our #1 and #2, but he’s nothing to sneeze at. He offers comfortably stats across the board, and can offer some Kobe-esque explosions in points. The Knicks always seem to be a mess, but Anthony has positioned himself as the premiere player on that team. He is definitely a nice player to have, and if you have an opportunity to take him, I would. Projections: .448 fg/.844 ft/1.4 3pt/24.6 pts/7.0 rbd/3.6 ast/1.2 stl/0.4 blk/3.2 tov
16. Kobe Bryant – I actually like Bryant, and given his resurgence last year, he should probably be a little higher. He’s in a high octane offense, which should allow him to do wonders, considering he takes a ridiculous number of shots. I have concerns about his age and his knee, but you know what, let’s wait for Bryant to disappoint us before we start discounting him. Projections: .427 fg/.839 ft/1.5 3pt/25.9 pts/5.3 rbd/4.4 ast/1.1 stl/0.2 blk/3.3 tov
17. Al Horford – I must love big men because my top twenty is loaded with them. They work hard, they play hard. Without Joe Johnson, Horford gains more of the offensive focus, which has its pros and cons. What I am looking forward to is 15/10 with great ratios, some assists and a block. Projections: .555 fg/.790 ft/0.0 3pt/15.2 pts/9.9 rbd/2.1 ast/0.7 stl/1.2 blk/1.7 tov
18. Marc Gasol – It really is preferable to balance the positions in the rankings, but it’s hard for me to drop Gasol lower. In addition to the same 15/10 Horford offers, you also get an insane number of assists from a center. The ratios are a little worse, but the two blocks per game make up for it. If you follow the Razzball rankings, you should be walking into the third draft with a center already under your belt. Look at it this way: if half your league has great centers, do you want to be the team with the next best thing? I don’t know, I was asking you. Projections: .501 fg/.751 ft/0.0 3pt/15.4 pts/9.5 rbd/2.9 ast/1.0 stl/2.1 blk/2.1 tov
19. Blake Griffin – Man, people sure are tough on Griffin. It seems the greatest fantasy basketball sin is to suck at free throws, probably because it should be the easiest statistic to accumulate. I’ve heard him described as nothing more than a one trick pony. That’s not fair. He will hurt you with FT% and TOV, and for some reason he can’t block, but let’s look at the positives. He is all but guaranteed to give you a double/double every time out, and his FG% is actually fairly good. Projections: .530 fg/.550 ft/0.0 3pt/22.1 pts/10.5 rbd/3.7 ast/0.9 stl/0.6 blk/3.0 tov
20. Monta Ellis – I originally had Monta Ellis ranked a little lower, but then I realized shooting guard is not that exciting, and the scarcity of top notch talent makes Ellis more valuable. You’ll get a couple of threes, steals, a smattering of rebounds and a good chunk of assists from Ellis. I may actually wait for an Eric Gordon or another later pick. Shooting Guard this year seems equivalent to Short Stop or Tight End; it’s a position I’m going to target more in the 4th or 5th rounds. I like what will be available later and I don’t need to reach too soon for an SG. Still, Ellis is good value, although it’s disturbing that he is as tall as me but I consider him short. That’s basketball for you. We might have to hike the rim up a foot by the year 2075. Projections: .436 fg/.789 ft/1.3 3pt/18.9 pts/3.3 rbd/6.1 ast/1.5 stl/0.2 blk/3.1 tov
