The glass-half-full part of you wants to enjoy DeMarcus Cousins‘ 13 boards from last night, while the glass-half-full you can’t help but acknowledge that he missed all but three of his 13 shot attempts. The glass-half-full you revels in the fact that he’s averaging 25 minutes per game as a rookie, while the glass-half-empty (GHE, pronounced “g’eh”) part of you can’t ignore Tuesday’s four turnovers or the .424 season FG%. He’s not a Rookie of the Year candidate, not even in the top 5. He hasn’t developed any low post moves (thus the FG%) and his swan diving free-throw shooting has not only hit rock bottom in November (.660) but somehow managed to break through the Earth’s crust and bury itself several layers closer to the planet’s magma in December (.600). But that’s the GHE part of you talking. Stop being so GHE. Let your full glass remind you that Cousins is only playing an extra 4.5 minutes per game this month as compared to last but has increased his scoring by three points and rebounding by a pair. He may be averaging a .424 FG% on the season, but, really, he averaged .389 in November and .455 this month. He’s growing, improving; he looks somewhat settled – if not overly content – in his starting role. If you own him, hang on. There are likely better days ahead for the rookie this season. If you dropped him, look at him once more and if you want to snatch him from an unsuspecting owner, well that’s your right. I wouldn’t blame you. You can look at DeMarcus as half-empty, but then your glass would be half-full of shizz.
Here’s what else went on last night in fantasy basketball:
Beno Udrih – Career-high 34 points in the overtime loss. And since this is Beno we’re talking about, you know that there’s something stinky around the bend. He turned the ball over five times and only dished out one assist in over 43 minutes of play. Fantasy-wise, his 34/1 carries the same weight as if he’d gone 18/5. So yeah, it’s nice, but it’s nothing worth writing about. Irony!
Reggie Williams – 24/7/4 with a menage a treys. Also, he has a huge head. Really. Have you seen this thing? I’m pretty sure I could sit in one of Williams’ baseball caps if I tucked my knees in tightly. That’s my big takeaway from Williams’ time as Stephen Curry‘s replacement. It’s been fun. I’ll see you during Curry’s next bout with the walking boot, bro.
Matt Carroll – Started in place of the injured Gerald Wallace, who missed his fourth game. You’ll never know the severe sourness that coincides with having to write a blurb about Matt Carroll. You should be ashamed of yourselves, Charlotte. It can’t get much worse than this.
Derrick Brown – … Unless, of course, Derrick Brown also played significant minutes. Hey, Zeus Christmas! Are these really the players the Bobcats are rolling out there? 11/6/2 in 33 minutes. Hedo would kill for that line.
Kwame Brown – Sticking with the Brown theme, Kwame played like poop (9/5 with a block) despite standing on the floor for almost 32 minutes.
D.J. Augustin – Followed up Monday’s first half benching with an 8/1/1 game. He’s averaging only 24 mpg in his last two. I’d give him through the week to bounce back. If he doesn’t, hit the panic button.
Jrue Holiday – Shot 3-for-12 in 23 minutes. The Sixers might have had more of a chance in this one had the team seen Drew Barrymore shot. Wait. What? Let me try that again. The Sixers might have had more of a chance had the team seen Jrue bury more shots. There. That’s much less violent.
Spencer Hawes – 0/2/2 in 18 minutes as Kurt Thomas’ lethargic, lolling, goofy-footed defense was just too much for him.
Kurt Thomas – 12/8 and five blocks. “I wonder if Thibodeau will play Deng at the four, because besides Asik, I can’t think of any other big besides Boozer available for the Bulls.” – Me, 60 seconds before I looked at the team roster and was reminded Kurt Thomas still played basketball. Leave him be. He did this to a Sixers ball club that was about as excited playing against Kurt Thomas as I was about watching him.
J.J. Redick – Sank 21 points on .500 shooting from the floor as a starter and Stan Van Gundy has absolutely no idea how to use the pieces on this team.
Brandon Bass – Moved back to the bench to see what would happen if Hedo guarded Dirk. Spoiler alert: I found out that you can’t say, “Bu kahrolas? oyun kokuyor” on Turkish television. Anyway, Bass will be back sooner than later. Everyone on the Magic except Dwight will go through some ch-ch-ch-changes, but will most likely learn to face the strain, Bowie.
O.J. Mayo -Don’t you go quoting me, but after his 17-point bench performance last night, he hasn’t scored fewer than 13 points in any of his last six games. /double-checks last six games\ Okay, there was one 6-point game in there, which is why you shouldn’t go quoting me. Anyway, I’d look for a permanent return to the starting lineup from Mayo soon, as Zah-Vee-Ay Henry has averaged 4.6 points and sloppy defense in his last seven.
Sasha Vujacic – Shot 75 percent from the floor on his way to 16 points. If he scores 16 again, it’s waiver time.
John Salmons – 20 points last night, at least 18 in his last three. He’s about six weeks early on this little streak.
Earl Boykins – Oingo Boykins scored a game-high 22 points against the Lakers, including four threes. I’m pretty sure Scott Skiles turned to Boykins early in the third quarter and said, “That’s it. Boykins! You’re going in for Mbah A Moute! “But, I’m 5-foot-nothin’, sir. I won’t be effectiv-” Boykins! I’m not here to pussyfoot with you about the game of basketball. My efficiency reserve ain’t being efficient. So you’re my new efficiency reserve. “But I’m 15 inches shorter than Luc- “ Boykins! You know I hate excuses. Now go out there and d’fense the hell out of Lamar Odom. And Andrew Bynum too, what the hell!” And that’s the story of how the Milwaukee Bucks defeated the Los Angeles Lakers by 19 points at home without four of their best players.
