The big boned Sean May broke his foot and will be out ’til after training camp. May’s feet were tired of all the stress and strain and put their two weeks notice in. After three consecutive days of coming into work late, filthy and constantly harassing the secretaries, the rest of Sean May asked his foot to go away immediately. A screaming match between Sean and his foot ensued. Sean’s foot said through tears, “You can’t break it off with me! I’m your foot! I break, you don’t break!” Then Sean said, “Are you kidding me?! I’ve been broken for four seasons! I’m 6-foot-9 and have a career average of 7/4! It doesn’t get more broken than me.” Then his lip quivered. The word “unownable” (not a word) comes to mind.  Though if you really care about Sean May’s fantasy standing, you already knew all about his injury because you are Sean May. The Nets will likely replace the 3pt/2 rbd May with the 3 pt/2 rbd Joe Smith. Callooh! Callay!

Here’s what else is shakin’ and breakin’ in fantasy hoops:

A.J. Price – Resumed basketball activities now that his kneecap has resumed its position at the front of his knee. I don’t think Price will prove relevant this season, but if you told me either Dahntay Jones, Brandon Rush or Price would be a rosterable fantasy option come December, I’d probably go with Price.

Charlie Villanueva – Charles Newhouse lost 10 pounds and is down to 220. On a completely unrelated note, the Pistons are hoping to lose about 220 more pounds before the season starts.

Andray Blatche – He had his protective boot removed and says he’ll be ready to go by training camp, presumably because his car can be driven again. Frankly, I’m surprised it took him this long to have the boot removed. I’m not sure why a millionaire can’t just pay the parking tickets as they come. D.C. parking patrol are real sticklers for that stuff, man.

Chase Budinger – Will miss 4-6 weeks after a substantial foot sprain. How substantial? He’s dropping from Studinger to Crudinger in most drafts. Know what sound the drop made? Thudinger.