Griffin is Kia Optimal

January 29, 2018 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 12 Comments

I wish I could just use this entire recap to rant about how Lou Williams deserves to be a NBA All-Star, based on statistics and value to his team. This could be his only chance to play in the game and how cool it would be to have a supremely underrated sixth man honored like that in front of millions of people and basketball legends…But…I am not even making him the lead in this recap because, no matter how great Sweet Lou plays, the Clippers have Blake Griffin and that dude jumped over a Kia. By the way, I am super impressed with the Kia Optima, it is actually pretty tight.

Ok, it’s getting late and I have a bunch of slashes to get to, so here is why Blake is the lead: 4/27/12/7/1/0. Almost messed around and hit 10-of-22 from the field, including 4-of-6 from deep. Here is what else I saw:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How Many Shots Could A Kobe Chuck, If A Kobe Could Chuck Wood

November 17, 2014 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 149 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

“Hey Kobe, I’m open, I’m open!” That’s every Laker…

Despite the plausibility that the Lakers are a real NBA team, they once again proved the contrary with yet another blowout loss. Well, I guess they’ve been in some games, but c’mon! Kobe Bryant is trying to do everything himself, like an asexual chronic masturbator. 15-34 FG last night (3-12 3PTM 11-16 FT) for 44/5/3/0/0. After a 1-14 brickhouse Friday night, that’s a 16-48 weekend (33%). At least Sunday was good! Ish. Most concerning are those treys, going 3-17 from deep in both games. He’s never been a good three-point shooter, especially the past four years. Glasses anyone? Russell Westbrook has got a guy…

As I’m sure Kobe would appreciate to no end, I have a comp for him. Dwight Howard. Hah! Mostly kidding, but Kobe is Dwight-ing (new adjective) your FG%. In H2H it’s not a paramount concern, but in Roto it’s getting scary. I don’t know what you do about it except try to trade Kobe high to a team at the top of your FG% standings. Then let Kobe and that ridiculous volume sink them like the whole Purple and Gold franchise. I keed of course! There’s just nothing there. Like hairs on Carlos Boozers‘ head or anatomy on Ken’s crotch. Kobe vs. NO tonight, 5-on-1! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Anonymous Hacks Bank Of America, Orlando Hacks Dwight Howard

March 13, 2013 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 5 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

I wonder what the public opinion really is on Anonymous, the computer hacking collective… I like them, they expose top-level greed – a mix between Russell Crowe in Robin Hood and in The Insider. OK so he wasn’t a hacker in The Insider, but did the same type thing Anonymous does. Anonymous hacked Bank of America last month and found they were using worthless Social Media searches to profile activists and their salary information was on a server in Tel Aviv. Say what? I thought it was Bank of ‘Murica not Bank of Israel! Well the Orlando Magic knew they needed some hacking to try and beat the Lakers with Dwight Howard returning to Orlando last night. With the crowd booing Howard from the moment he stepped on the floor, the Magic tried some psychological warfare, fouling Dwight every opportunity and giving him 39 free throw attempts. Thirty-nine! I don’t think I’ve taken that many free throws ever. Now imagine 15,000 fans yelling at you every time. Dwight made 25 of em, capping a 39-16 and 3 block night in his return to O-Town. One of the best returns to a former team in NBA history, but the Magic just plain handed him 25 of those points. The Magic are terrible (minus Tobias Harris – read below) and the Lakers, while a soap opera, I think make the playoffs. A good career move for Dwight. Just hope he doesn’t store his salary on a server in Tel Aviv.

Here’s what else went down last night across the NBA:

Please, blog, may I have some more?