The number 3 is considered a mystical and magical one by many because the Universe is predicated on it. There’s the Holy Trinity. Three little bears. Larry, Moe, and Curly. Past, present, and future. Birth, life, and death. Beginning, middle, and end. Menage a trois. Yummy. Outside of a circle, the minimum number of sides you need to create a pattern is three. Only a third person can break a tie to decide where to go eat. Last night, Fred VanVleet, who has three capital letters in his name and wears the number twenty-three, went H. A. M.

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Today it’s time for those less appreciated players to take the spotlight. Those so-called “Glue Guys”, the players that every winning team needs to have if they hope to succeed. Those guys who will not complain about their touches, those guys who know exactly what their role is and what their limitations are and are not afraid to sacrifice themselves for the team by making the vital hustle plays. Those guys who are becoming more and more the exception in the modern NBA and surprisingly can fit specific niche roles even for your fantasy teams, especially in leagues where turnovers matter.

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We’re still pretty early on in the season, but it’s always a good time for some hot takes. What follows will be the totally legitimately definitive ranking of each NBA team when it comes to their fantasy production.

I took the top 100 players in total value and by per-game value, figured out how many were on each team, and ranked them. Very scientific stuff, I know. But no worries, there is a point. We’ll discuss what that means for each team, and for fantasy owners that may have the players mentioned, or have their eye on a player mentioned.

If a team has fantasy gold, does that mean they have great pace? Is it because they have a great record? Without further ado, here are your answers.

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Is it just me or does O’Neale need one less “E” or one more “L”? Otherwise I’m just going to read it like he’s the Irish Nelly. Sans the light racism question mark (you’d have to ask Nelly, and I guess Ireland), we’re continuing the trend of discussing players to plug and play because apparently the year we’re having is just a continuation of 2020… and if there’s anything we’ve learned from 2020, it’s that we probably all just died and the past year or so has just been our synapses firing randomly the entire time. I mean, why not? But if you ain’t here for the existential crisis, you’re probably here to read about Royce O’Neale. Or you googled “Irish Nelly”. Either way, I’m sure you’ll find what you were looking for…

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Hi y’all, after another week of COVID-stricken life in the NBA (one of the players on the below list has been affected by it), here’s a few players you should consider adding to your fantasy team. Which one you choose depends on the cats you need a boost in, so you should analyze your time before making a pickup. I don’t have much else to say so let’s get into the list!

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The alerts on Channing’s phone have been going bonkers since I wrote this article. “Honey, I’m getting Google alerts for Step Up!” Jenna rolled her eyes, then placed her hand on her husband’s back, and slowly moved it in a circular motion that Miyagi would be proud of. “It’s been almost 15 years, hon. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” The reviews were not kind: This hokey, formulaic romantic drama is every bit as appalling as it sounds. Ouch. As Channing clicked on the alert, he responded with “That [email protected]#!er Son is writing about Jayson Tatum again!”

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There are a lot of differences between Jimmy Butler and myself. I, for example, am not a five time NBA All-Star. I’ve also never been named the Most Improved Player, won a gold medal, or screamed at Karl-Anthony Towns with such vigor that I had to be sent to Philadelphia. But perhaps the biggest wedge between Jimmy and myself is our feelings toward rear-view mirrors. 

See, I’m a look back kind of guy. There’s wisdom (and cars!) back there if you care to investigate. This willingness to wallow, to ruminate, to linger and consider all the roads not traveled means that I signed myself up to do the tedious work of taking long, wistful gazes at how this first ever RazzJam went down and try to glean something useful from it. Son, our fearless leader and fellow RazzJam League 14 draftee, is here to keep an eye on my blind spots. You strike me as a reasonable guy, Son, you’re pro-mirror, right?

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We’ve come to the end of the road of the rankings/projections. Sniff. Sniff. I’m sad, but don’t cry, dry your eye, as this means the season is almost upon us. If you want to see the players past the 150, click HERE.

If you missed previous editions, here you go:

Top 10
Top 25
Top 50
Top 75
Top 100

Before I begin…

THESE RANKINGS MUST BE UTILIZED IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR LEAGUE SETTINGS, TEAM ROSTER CONSTRUCTION, AVERAGE DRAFT POSITION, AND PERSONAL PHILOSOPHIES.

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