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I’m back from a two-week hiatus in which I was driving a minivan around Cleveland hunting for Bucks. No, wait, that was Georges Niang Wednesday night.  Niang picked up the Minivan nickname during his college days in Utah. Shouldn’t it be the Suburban? Well, his Cleveland teammates have given him a less-soft moniker – G-Wagon. […]

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Scottie Barnes’ second season in the NBA was so disappointing that the fantasy realm considered renaming “Sophomore Slump” to “Scottie Slump.” Well, Barnes has busted through that slump like a nerdy virgin kid who just hit the lottery hanging out at a bar full of gold diggers.  Scottie’s been hotty this season, and is currently […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Halloween was last night and we live in quite possibly the best area in the US for the candy gaining activities.  My town was founded in 1705.  Blackbeard made his mainland home here.  There’s a graveyard that dates back to 1734.  Truly cool and spooky stuff.

Unfortunately, the flu, like the actual literal flu, struck the Kelder household and we were unable to join any festivities this year.  With two people actively sick and me fighting off a scratchy throat and achy knees which I always have anyway, sat home.  Now notice I’m not complaining about two days off of work watching Full House, Ninja Warrior, and playing Mario Kart.  I should probably also mention that I fell asleep on the couch during the Knicks-Cavs game, so I’m purely box score watching instead of my report from watching TNT Tuesdays.

Here’s what happened fantasy wise last night:

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Drafting rookies in fantasy basketball can be a lot like the fishing game at carnivals. The unknown of what’s going to happen is kinda fun and whimsical, you know you’re going to walk away with some sort of “prize,” but whatever rinky-dink toy or stuffed animal you get probably will depreciate in your mind faster than a new car off the lot. 

Long before I was the expert Razzball analyst you’re reading now [“psshh above-average amateur at best”; “Shut up voice in my head, too early for you!”] I never trusted rookies much. The more I read, it was nice to learn this was the correct take to have in this realm. 

Rookies traditionally underwhelm because they’re, well, rookies [DUH!]. They struggle with efficiency, which doubles in leagues counting turnovers, and lack the experience and game knowledge at the NBA pace that leads to an extra rebound here or assist there, or what have you that creates a reliable fantasy asset. 

Last season was a classic example. There was a Rookie of the Year in Paolo Banchero putting up headline-earning stats, yet finished ranked 211 per game in 9-cat. There were studs who started hot and heavy like Benedict Mathurin but never improved on average-to-weak counting stats. Per usual, the big guys fared the best, with a fun breakout campaign by Walker Kessler (57) and some usable players at the end of the season in guys like Mark Williams (128), Jalen Duren (135)  and Jabari Smith Jr. (144) – sniffing a double-double with a block can go a long way for guys on rebuilding teams. And then we had the surprise breakout of an older, more seasoned rookie in Jalen Williams, who finished ranked 73 in 9-cat, and was a top 20 player in the last two months of the season.

As the headline attempts to wittingly suggest, no matter how good the rookie, the general rule is to expect inconsistent fantasy production day-in and day-out. There will be some exciting bit lines and inevitable mistake-laden stinkers.

So let’s take a look at some of the class of 2023-24, as I’ve compiled a list of sure-fire analysis of steady that I’m 100% certain of….

Please, blog, may I have some more?