Flashback, if you will, to about three weeks ago — it was colder, snowier, and darker then, I’m sure you remember it — when I reached out to Son with an idea.

Mr. Hooper: I’ve got three words for you, Son: the 2020-2021 Razzball Writers Fantasy Basketball All-Star Team. We’ve got some sharp players in this corner of the Razzverse. Why don’t we poll the writers and have them submit ballots? We can tally the votes, form our own super team, and then present our readers with a fantasy basketball All-Star team from each conference. It will be great!

Son: That’s a lot more than three words, Hoop, but as long as you do the polling and tabulating and writing, I won’t stop you.

How do you not love a guy like that? Such inspiring stuff. Flashforward past doing some research and a half dozen emails about Google Forms and then a few more about Google Sheets, and poof! We’ve got a couple of All-Star teams for you to enjoy/critique/grouse about.

Before we do the big reveal, a few notes about what exactly we’ve done here. The task was to fill out a 12-man ballot for each conference that has: 3 Guards, 3 Forwards, 2 Centers, and 4 Flex positions. It’s also important to keep in mind that we were using 9-category scoring (points, boards, dimes, steals, swats, turnovers, three-pointers made, field goal percentage, and free throw percentage) when punching our ballots. Because it was a collaborative effort to construct each team, I also enlisted my fellow writers to share their thoughts about their favorite All-Stars.

Observant readers will notice that we ended up with more than 12 Eastern Conference All-Stars. It turns out the Leastern Conference is actually pretty stacked (check out Keith’s piece exploring the why) and when it came to the final two flex spots we found ourselves with a five-way tie. Because this is a for-fun exercise and I didn’t have the foresight to create a tie-breaker, we decided to expand the bench and bring all our favorites on board (plus we needed to find a way to get Julius Randle onto this team so Vas could cook.) In this case, asterisks are not scarlet letters for PED users, but signifiers that the player listed was part of that five-way deadlock.

Without further ado, Razzball readers, here are your Eastern Conference Fantasy All-Stars!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Cleveland Cavaliers upset the Sixers tonight in an overtime confrontation. Impressive win by the Cavs. 

SexLand combined for 53 points (28 from Collin Sexton, 25 from Darius Garland). Garland also provided nine assists while Sexton stole the ball three times. Their big man of the future, Jarrett Allen, put up another double-double with 14 points and 10 rebounds while also blocking one shot. The rookie Isaac Okoro also had a good outing with 15 points, eight rebounds, and three steals. 

MVP front runner, Joel Embiid, had another spectacular performance scoring 42 points and grabbing 13 rebounds, while Ben Simmons had a near triple double with a 24/7/8 statline. Danny Green had a peculiar game scoring nine points but swatting three shots and stealing the ball twice. 

The Sixers seemed to miss that extra spark besides Embiid and Simmons, and that could have been the cause of this tough loss for them.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In some ways, I have sympathy for what happened to the Celtics last night. After all, who among us hasn’t done the groggy barter with the alarm clock in the morning and hit the snooze button? Five more minutes, we tell ourselves, just a bit longer and then I’m getting up. Sometimes it’s fine — the bonus z’s make you feel better and you leisurely arrive at your morning rested and ready to go — and sometimes you really needed to get out of bed on time.

Roosters, nature’s alarm clock, have no snooze button. When it’s time to go to work, they’re going to let you know about it. Last night, the NBA’s Rooster crowed loudly and emphatically, but the Celtics slept right through it.

Danilo Gallinari

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
38 6 2 2 0 4 10 13/16 2/21

Unable to get up for their game against Atlanta, the C’s instead found themselves in waking nightmare featuring a 6’10” gamecock that also happened to be absolutely on fire. While the guys in green were rubbing sleep out of their eyes, Gallo canned the wide open triples. By the time Boston had put their slippers on and started closing out to him, Danilo had extended his range out to the logo. All told, Gallinari hit seven first half threes. The bonus three balls in the second stanza were his way of tucking Boston back into bed. Buona notte!

Sleep on the Rooster at your own peril.

Here’s what else happened on a busy Wednesday in the NBA:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yep, I’m going to subject you all to my friends and family league yet again. We’re at the midway point of our regular season after today, so I wanted to go back and see where my predictions from the preseason were right and wrong, and which fantasy players are performing better or worse than their average draft position (ADP).

What I hope you can take from this is how to better formulate your strategy in your own leagues, and what seems to work best for people in a relatively average league. Our league is listed as a “silver” league on Yahoo!, which isn’t really scientific but indicates our team levels combined are slightly below the average of “gold.” We have two platinum, one gold, four silver, and five bronze managers. It’s a top-heavy league, which is the case in most scenarios as the people who run the league seem to be far more invested.

Anyways, the below records and rankings are based on if the scores stay the same as they are at the writing of this article. Those are subject to change, but not by much.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s an argument to made for LaVine or Giannis being the lede tonight (spoiler alert: 40 burgers ahead), but I’m going a different direction in my first ever recap. Karl-Anthony Towns returned to an NBA court last night against the Clippers following his bout with Covid. It’s just the fifth game he’s played this season, and while the line is hardly a stunner by KAT standards, it’s just really good to see this dude back on the floor. The impact that the pandemic has had on his family is well documented, so on a human level, it’s wonderful news that he’s back on his feet. Fantasy players will be rejoicing too, as replacing the sheer volume of goodies KAT provides has been a tall order.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
18 10 3 1 0 3 2 8/15 0/0

He played 31 minutes tonight, which should quiet some concerns about conditioning. Whatever. He’s here. Welcome back, KAT!

Here’s what else I saw from last night’s action…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now THIS is the Luka we all expect to see, not his bricklaying doppelganger who’s plagued us with his presence too many times this season. It was a proper shootout in Texas last night, with Luka emerging the victor. He’s still only the 22nd-ranked player in fantasy despite projections, but, shooting like this should catapult him back into the top-10 if he can keep it up.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe it is all the hype building up from the BallIsLife mixtapes and House of Highlights montages on YouTube. Maybe it is the loud ringing of Lavar Ball’s old quotes starting to slowly resurface. Or maybe, just maybe the Ball Brothers are really as good as advertised.

It feels safe to say that it has been a pretty exciting week and a half for the Ball Family in terms of performing on the NBA stage. So, with that in mind, the bandwagon for the Ball Family Bucket Getters may be quickly pulling out of the station.

We are still relatively early in the season and there is still a lot of time to see where things are heading for these two as the season progresses. But as of right now, if the league was sleeping on the talent of the Ball Bros in the NBA entering this season, then EVERYONE should be bright-eyed and bushy tail awake by now! That is why this week’s Hoopers of the Week are LaMelo Ball in the Eastern Conference and Lonzo Ball in the Western Conference.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This was definitely a weird Friday Night spree of games for the NBA, maybe the weirdest of the entire season. All-Stars like Jaylen Brown and Paul George missed their games due to injury. All-Stars who did play like Domantas Sabonis, Bradley Beal, and Russell Westbrook could not seem to hit a shot to save their lives. And maybe the oddest of all, Kevin Durant was put in the game, taken out, put back in then yanked out the Toronto game after only playing 18 minutes. Basically, this was a Friday filled with games where a good handful of superstars either did not play or did not play particularly well.

Please, blog, may I have some more?