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The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. 

For those without kids, that’s Branch in “Trolls” overreacting because he’s scared of success (and friendship), just like so many fantasy basketball players will overreact to the first couple games, when regular bench rotations guys will be proclaimed breakouts of the season, and busts will be said to abound as the rust gets knocked off the boots. 

However, while we definitely don’t want to overreact, let’s remember: Branch ended up being right. You don’t want to be caught with that average penny stock and telling yourself, “any day now, it’s gunna go crazy!” [Checks portfolio, sighs with depression, gets back to basketball.] Keep an eye on minutes, rotations and usage more than the general stat lines in these early going. 

And with that piece of nonsensical advice, let’s get on with the show! Here’s what caught my eye in the 12 games of the unofficial official opening night in The Association.

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Razzball Nation, welcome to the fourth quarter of the NBA season. Most of you playing in points leagues are in your fantasy playoffs with hopes of being crowned champion in the next few weeks. For those of you in rotisserie formats, you are here until the bitter end, which will surely include some silly season heroics, and I will be with you for all of it.

Trade deadlines have come and gone for a vast majority of leagues, which left me contemplating how to pivot this post for the final stretch of the season. The answer is and always will be in finding value and making that value work best for you. That is why this week, I am looking at an entire team and leaving it up to you to roll the dice on a few options that may be readily available on your wire or perhaps sitting on your bench in deeper leagues waiting to be deployed.

Get your motor running…?

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Welcome to March everyone! March Madness will be the headliner later in the month, but until then we have some good ole NBA DFS to keep us busy. We have a slightly more moderately sized nine-game slate here. #1 piece of advice as always is to be up to date on injuries, as the info in this article will only be up to date as of Tuesday night. The value is pretty terrible right now, we’ll need injury news to get up to multiple spend ups.

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….Making all the threes! What, where did you think I was going with that? But yeah, reaching the 48-hour mark until the NBA trade deadline hits, many things are happening both on the court and off it. With the trade of Kyrie Irving to the Mavericks complete (don’t let it near the Jewish space lasers!) marking the end (or beginning?) of the Net’s introspective journey on finding out what happens when you let two idiots have their way with the franchise (three if you count Joe Tsai), one has to wonder what could top that? Will KD be next? (Doubtful, but of course I would never rule out a return to the Warriors just for the lols.)

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Last night I was able to test out a new Seuss-style story during my kids’ bedtime:

“An Ant-man with cool fluffy hair, who went the nation’s capital and let it rain from behind the arch. He was hitting ‘em on the pull up. He was hitting ‘em on the spot up. He nailed 3s on the swing. He nailed 3s on the run. He hit 3s from the corner, at the top. He created a skookum of 3s like it was a skookum of tallywade  ….”

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Something tells me the Pelican won’t fare well in that scenario, right? Well, that was the case Wednesday night when the Celtics’ Scottie Pippen, “Robin” or what have you – Jaylen Brown – torched the young Pelicans to the tune of 41 points and 12 rebounds in 34 minutes of action. Brown led Boston to a convincing 125-114 victory over New Orleans and he wasn’t alone – top dog, Batman Jayson Tatum bullied his way to 31 points and 10 rebounds of his own.

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It was tough to enjoy watching my Ducks eek out the Holiday Bowl Wednesday because every commercial break was chock full of warnings about shingles. I have never known anyone in my life getting shingles, and after that I’m convinced all of us are getting it next year. 

On Friday night, however, Minnesota had to deal with a case of the non-viral irritation known as Ingles: Joe Ingles. [Wow, Phil, way to send off 2022 with the oddest lede/transition yet.] In his sixth game back from injury, Ingles played a season-high 25 minutes and banked 14 points (5-9 FG, 4-7 3pt), 5 boards and 10 assists, and was a major factor for the Bucks in the second half, as Milwaukee pulled away from Minnesota in a 123-114 win. Ingles probably won’t garner enough minutes when Jrue Holiday and Middleton play, but is worth adding to the streamer board as needed. 

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week Seven!  In this post, I help you identify widely-available players who can help win your head-to-head matchup.  The NBA’s revolving door of injuries keeps churning out opportunities for lesser-known players, with Karl-Anthony Towns being the latest big name to cop a multi-week ailment.  A number of players could stand to benefit from filling the enormous production vacuum vacated by KAT, and I detail a couple frontrunners in the list below.  On the good news front, we should see Damian Lillard, James Harden, and Kris Middleton return from extended absences within the next four days, which will restore some balance in the universe.

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Despite only three games on Tuesday, DFS dynamos were in play. A small game slate featured a battle of the best pure scorers in the NBA and provided us with one of the best games of the season. Scoring giants, Steph Curry and Luka Doncic clashed in Dallas. The Knicks and Pistons were both in need of a win. A game that on paper appeared would be close, was anything but. And a Portland team that not long ago led the Western Conference, trying to stay in playoff position against a hobbled Clippers squad.

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Welp.  Went up against the first place team and predictable things happened. JokerSmoker outclassed the Infector 6-2, but I did manage a glorious tie in the blocks category!  I was within ten points in every category.  My strategy of well-rounded guys to start, then fill in the gaps has failed.

What do do when your plan fails?  Trade!  Scottie Barnes, Jayson Tatum, and Anthony Edwards should be able to fetch good big guys.  I’m in good shape with rebounds and blocks.  I’m finna make some bad offers on paper but try to magnify my strengths and maybe get some Ws.  I’m also guessing none of the writers read this site trying to defeat an Infector.

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