We all had the Tingles this Summer, at least those of us who know what a second apron is and why the Celtics didn’t want to be there, but I get it, who has time to talk cooking-fashion when we’re here to talk ball? Basically, the Celtics quickly maneuvered themselves out of a salary and a roster constriction death knell by making a flurry of trades to shed salary. Once Jayson Tatum went down, it was the most likely scenario, to have a solid tank year and come back reloaded with a hopefully healthy top-10 player in 26-27.
Thus, step in the Hawks, who when you look at their offseason entirely, have really readjusted their roster approach and have created a very intriguing dynamic, but that dynamic is still kinda dependent on a center who is sorta-fragile and is coming off a season that was hampered quite a bit by a mystery illness. How an illness is still a mystery after a calendar year has passed is probably a black mark on science in general, but people are saying science is dead anyways, so who cares. Also, privacy laws…
While a notable three-team trade in real NBA terms between the Hawks, Celtics and Nets (acquiring Terrance Mann and the #22 pick), we’ll focus mostly on Kristaps Porzingis to the Hawks and a little bit on Georges Niang and maybe Mann. I’m leaning no since just thinking about them is making me sleepy, but let’s see what happens. [Spoiler Alert and Editor’s Note: It didn’t happen. Another Spoiler Alert and Editor’s Note: I am the Editor.]
So, the Tingis Pingis or Zingis Tingis, I don’t know which nickname it goes by, I just know whatever it is, it generally flirts between sounding like a medical condition or a small-percentile love-making gambit. I mean, maybe its both, I’ll Google it later. But yeah, the perfect casting choice for a movie based on SLENDAH MAHN (Conan ref… the other Conan…) Kristaps is also the perfect type of player to put in the lineup next to Trae Young. Sure, there are always going to be knocks to Trae’s game, I get it, but no one can deny that his assists have gone up just about every season, and while he may not be the best facilitator out there, just from a sheer stats factoid, he ends up being the most effective distributor regardless, and honestly, I don’t even think 11.6 assists a game is anywhere near his ceiling.
I’ll talk more about Trae as one of my targets this season in a separate piece, but suffice it to say, he led the league in Potential Assists Lost, with his teammates missing 696 shots from his passes. The next closest was Tyrese Haliburton, at 217 less misses… that is meaningful.
So when you add one of the best big-men shooters in the league, I think this is a fantastic match. And it’s not like I’m discovering a new technology here, it’s been through the great aggregation machine and the Hawks are looking great, so great that they might be a bit overrated at the moment. That being said, I won’t take anything away from a great offseason, but from a fantasy perspective, there are a couple of things to think about.
First and foremost, health. Yes, Porzingis has stated that he’s feeling “fantastic” and “super happy” which probably shouldn’t be any indicator of anything, but I guess it’s better than him saying his leg imploded or something. Second, while his medical ailments remained a constant issue throughout the late season and playoffs push by the Celtics earlier in the year, no real cause was ever given besides it being a post-viral illness. While many have pointed to a possible long-term Covid diagnosis, I would just caution that sure, maybe this ordeal has passed, but you most always calculate for other possible health events if drafting or trading for KP.
That being said, I love that this is another show-me year for Porzingis, the last time this happened, he produced a 23/8/3 on nearly 50-percent shooting for the Wizards. The Hawks can make some real noise in the East and I can see career years from both him and Trae because of how the complement each other and the rest of the offensive setup, and the fact that this team will most likely be in the thick of it.
So in conclusion, the trade is great for Zingis Pingis Forfingus Gingis (I may have just said some nasty things in an Alien language) and is pretty good for Trae… and who cares about Niang and Mann? Well, ask in the comments if you do…
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell.