All preseason, Mike D’Antoni and the Knicks left a shroud of mystery surrounding the two-spot the likes of which ain’t been seen since Carmen Sandiego was in Budapest, no Algiers, no Greenland. All good things like the shooting guard mystery and Rocapella must come to an end. Unfortunately, just as Carmen Sandiego was never really contained as much as she was paused, so continues the hunt for a sturdy SG. Rookie Landry Fields beat out Wilson Chandler, Toney Douglas, Roger Mason Jr. and Bill Walker for the spot. Fields averaged 9/3/1 during seven preseason games with about 1.3 treys to boot. I’ve already seen Fields snatched up in deep leagues, which is fine if you’ve got room to spare. The problem with Fields is that the Knicks don’t have room to spare. He may be the starter today, but the two-slot for the Knicks is like fashion designing: one day you’re in. The next day, you’re out. You know what else is like fashion to D’Antoni? Fashion. Have you seen his neckties? Beautiful.
And now, typed from New York: it’s Opening Night!!!
Andre Iguodala – Will likely sit out the season opener. We’re not even 24 hours into the season and already Iggy and Samuel Dalembert are going to miss games this season after missing zero in the last three. Earthquakes, volcanoes! Rivers and seas boiling! Dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria! Lou Williams and Evan Turner will get the lion’s share of the minutes. UPDATE: It looks like he’ll play. It also looks like he might play poorly until his wrist is less limp.
Chris Douglas-Roberts – Out a month after getting five across the eyes on Sunday. Actually it was just one and it was in the eye, not across it. The infliction of this injury was efficient enough that clearly Brandon Jennings is not to blame.
Anthony Randolph – Injured his ankle and will miss Wednesday’s Game 1. It doesn’t appear to be more serious than a missed game or two. This is, after all, Ant Rand. He shall let no man or ankle hold him back from excellence and achievement.
Tyronne Lue – Why is Tyronne Lue still employed by the NBA? Has he put on a jersey in the last five seasons? Every friggin’ year – there’s Tyronne Lue at the end of some team’s bench looking depressed. It’s bummin’ me out.
Dwyane Wade – Wade didn’t have any of the numbers owners were hoping for, including this number: 1. Is that the number of times Wade will see his kids for the remainder of the year? No. Is that the number of times some smartass reporter will call Wade “Flash” before he snaps? Nah. How ’bout the number of losses Eric Spoelstra is allowed to earn after tonight before he’s fired? Probably, but not what I was getting at. Well what then? It’s Wade’s ast/tov ratio. He had six of each. Relax. Breath into a paper bag. Wait. No, not that one. That one has my lunch in it. Why would you breath into a bag with a sandwich and three string cheeses in it? Never mind why my lunch consists of a sandwich and three string cheeses, this is about Dwyane Wade!
Chris Bosh – Earned eight points on 3-of-11 from the field. Ugh. I can’t even look him in the eye.
Glen Davis – 29 minutes, 13/5. This ain’t nothin’ now. Might not be nothin’ later. But if it turns into something later, you’ll want to start paying attention now.
Karl Malone – “Aw sweet! A commercial with The Mailman! What shoes are those? adidas? Wait. Oh, no! No Karl, no! Those aren’t Shape-Ups, are they? Tell me my second-favorite basketball player of all-time isn’t in a commercial for … dammit, Karl!”
Steve Nash – Nine turnovers. More like Leave Trash.
Hedo Turkoglu – 6/3/2 on 2-for-7 shooting. While I choose to chalk up all other poor performances from the first game as rust and adjustment, I choose to believe this will be the Turk Phoenix gets.
Nicolas Batum – 19/11 (including three treys) in 26 minutes (fewer than any of the other starters on the team). This doesn’t blow my mind. It shouldn’t blow yours.
Wesley Matthews – If there was any doubt who the first man off the Portland bench will be, Matthews dropped 13/6/3 in 30 minutes. I know, I know. Wesley sounds more like the PowerPoint guru at your office than a viable fantasy option. I don’t like it either. I’m still not over the Kevin Martin situation.
Shannon Brown – Speaking of undesirable basketball names, Shannon scored 16 points (four treys) in 21 minutes off the bench. Watch out Devin Harris. Apparently, Jordan Farmar sucks the good out of players.
Luis Scola – 18/16/4 with no blocks. Hey, pretty girls get blemishes too.
Yao Ming – Committed his sixth foul right before reaching his 24 minute limit. With the tiMing parameters put on Yao, I’m hoping for a series of games in which Yao starts swinging wildly at the 23rd minute.
