Oh man! So many places to go with a title like that… Last night we had two virtually 100%-owned big men step back on the hardwood in Derrick Favors and Andrew Bogut. Let’s start first with Aussie Aussie Aussie who had his typical Oi Oi Oi multi-cat line for 4/7/4/1/1. Played 29 minutes which is very encouraging, but did foul out. The big man fouls were rough in this one! Both starting 4/5s combined for 10 fouls in Golden State at Detroit. Mark Jackson pre-game must’ve been like, “pretend you’re all Artest and the Pistons just threw a beer on you!” I remain high on Bogut for his multi-cat walkabouts. Then to Favors – who had been doing fantasy owners no Favors with his bum hip – but lit it up in his return last night for 8-9 FG (4-4 FT) 20/4/1/0/3 in 29 you-couldn’t-ask-for-better minutes. Hopefully his hip can hold up the rest of the season! And hopefully he doesn’t Favor too much on the other one. Womp womp. Worst joke of the year! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:
Enes Kanter – Back to the bench and back to being… Enes Kanter. 12/5/0/0/0 in 26 minutes with 3 TOs. Dude, he should be killing it against 2nd units! But he’s only good against starters, apparently… Maybe it’s because opposing teams size him up like that annoying kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park. The opposing line-up sees “Enes Kanter” listed as the starting 5 and they’re like, “That doesn’t sound scary, sounds more like a six foot Turk!”
Alexis Ajinca – Career high in Pts and Rebs for 19/12. I watched this game, and virtually none of it involved nice basketball plays. Wait, what? What I’m saying is, wasn’t too impressed. He was awful on defense as well. Not recommending him unless in deep leagues.
Tyreke Evans – 8/4/5/0/0 in 27 minutes, and yeah, that stat line alone tells you it was unimpressive. Reke could have so much going for him if he had consistency and ankle transplants. Maybe they can transplant some talons from the Pelicans mascot!
Matt Barnes – After two huge games, cooled off a tiny bit last night, but man, efficient! 12/3/3/0/1, no TOs on 4-6 (2-3 3PTM 2-2 FT) shooting. If only his post-game tweeting was that efficient…
DeAndre Jordan – Looked really good. Surprise update there! 14/16/2/1/4. What a value he’s been…
Hedo Turkoglu – Took 10 shots in 15 minutes. Ball hog! All 4 makes were treys as he could actually be a very deep ThrAGNOF type.
O.J. Mayo – He’s back! Grab him now! Um, no. 8-14 including 7-9 from deep for 25 points, but who was it against again? League worst Philly! Larry Screw benched his starters and played the second unit virtually the whole 2nd half. And when you’re in the 2nd unit of an 11-win team as a vet, things are pretty bad.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – Aphabet soup was spelling B-L-K last night! 13/6/4 with 4 swats. Shot 5-8 and hit a trey. Like a can of alphabet soup (do they come in cans?), I’d like to stock my fantasy cabinet with at least one of them. Wow, metaphor police after me for that one.
Ramon Sessions – 16/4/5 with a trey in a solid line for his 2nd Bucks appearance. Nah, this whole game was pretty much junk time.
Jeff Adrien – Same for the other former-Bob C. 6/10/2/1/1 in a great multi-cat effort that Slim missed on because of our stupid REL commissioner. I blame Yahoo for the default settings…
Thaddeus Young – Two straight ginormous games. Wow, I didn’t get a red underline for “ginormous”? Can’t believe that’s legit in the dictionary. Off topic! 28/5/7/6/0 last night with 3 treys shooting 11-19. They might as well rename the team the Philadelphia Thaddeuses.
Tony Wroten – Uh oh! Starting! 19/2/5/1/0 and 100% from the FT line! On 1-1… With one other tweak, I think Wroten starting is the best line-up the Sixers can field… Or would it be court… I dunno…
Byron Mullens – Should be starting at C. 14 minutes shooting 4-6 for 9/1/1/1/1 and a trey. Multi-cat! Terrible that Arnett Moultrie got 28 minutes and Henry Sims 20, and Mullens out-did both of them. Now, this was Mullens first game, so still high on him increasing minutes and getting shots, because, well, the Sixers like to play fast and like to lose big.
Draymond Green – Welllllllll that didn’t go quite as hot as I had hoped. To be honest, didn’t think Bogut was coming back. 6/5/1/2/1 shooting 3-4 – at least game you an efficient multi-cat – but I think that’s most likely a loss as a “must-start” call. Well, I think I might give it another tie, what do you think? What’s sad is…
Jermaine O’Neal – …coming back and playing well post-wrist surgery is hurting Green too. 16/10/2/0/3 from O’Neal shooting 6-8. Pretty nifty. Jonas Valanciunas is like, “well damn, I should be able to do that, not some 50-year old dude with a bum wrist!” We all agree Luminescent Lithuanian!
Andre Iguodala – A bum one here. I think he’s a really solid buy low. 2-10 from the field for 4/2/2/0/1. In the past 5 he was at least 8/5/5 in 4 of them, and 2+ steals in 4 of the 5. Since 13 Pts is his game-high scoring in his past 13 games, I think he’s getting a little underrated. As they say, “chicks dig the scoring!” Or something like that…
Josh Smith – It’s time for another installation of “where did J-Smoove hurt you?!” 18/11/7/1/1, mmmm all nice, 3 TOs – meh, you can deal – but 9-24 shooting and 0-3 FT. Ouchie! I still think if you prepared for some rough %s you’re loving the Smoove train.
Kyle Singler – Ugh. I hate Singler. 18/3/2/1/2 in a near rainbow, two treys and shot 7-11. Hurts so bad! Oh yea, UNC bias coming out. Still not touching Singler in 10 or 12ers despite the huge minutes John Loyer insists on giving him. Even when he gets absolutely murdered at the rim…
Klay Thompson – While crushing Singler’s spirit on that dunk is all well and good, still a ThrAGNOF for fantasy purposes!
Dirk Nowitzki – Sprechen sie game-winner?! Too bad that’s not a fantasy stat, because his line was otherwise a little scheiße…
Vince Carter – Hit 7 treys last night. From slam dunk champ and great slasher to 3-point line camper…
Jose Calderon – Camped as well. New York was a campgrounds! 6-9 which was comprised of 5-8 3PTM and 1-1 inside the arc. 20/3/6/0/0, 3-3 FT, and no TOs as he continues to be %s shiner. A Shiner Bock!
Jae Crowder – Stat of the day! Played 4 seconds and had a -3 +/-. About as bad as it gets in 4 seconds! If he was playing the whole game, the score would’ve been 2,160 – 0 Knicks over the Mavs…. Good thing Dallas pulled him when they did…
Carmelo Anthony – I’ve heard he’s good at basketball. I know the Knicks suck though… The math doesn’t add up!
Raymond Felton – 8/3/7/2/0 shooting 3-4 with 2 treys and only 2 TOs. It’s like he modeled this game after Calderon! Which would probably help… But then, and boy am I glad I caught this story during my late-owl-ness, is being questioned for pointing a gun at his girlfriend. His girlfriend probably hid his ho-hos. Which way you interpret ho-hos is up the reader…
Kelly Olynyk – 21/8/4 but a lot of it was in junk time.
Jared Sullinger – I missed this update yesterday, but missed last night with the minor concussion. Very questionable the rest of the week, but I am still holding like a Felton firearm.
I hope everyone got a solid start from their squads as we get closer and closer to standard league playoffs!
