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D.J. Augustin – Saint Augustin is averaging a heavenly 17/3/5.5 for the Cats after three games. What’s the difference between his start this season and the promising average of his rookie year? Is that rhetorical? No. Why would it be rhetorical? Uh, Is that rhetorical? No. Who asks unending rhetorical questions like that? Okay, I’m confused. That last one really sounded like a rhetorical question. Okay. Stop talking now. Although Augustin took a definite step back last season, Augustin’s per36 in 2008 was 16/2.5/4.7 with .430/.893 percentages. So far this season, he’s averaging 15.2/2.7/4.8 with .432/1.000 averages. His numbers look so much better now because he spent 2008 playing 27 minutes behind Raymond Felton, and this season playing 41 minutes behind no one. If he keeps this up, we’ll be calling him Quaint Augustin.

Here’s what else went down this weekend in fantasy basketball:

T.J. Ford – You gotta love Indiana. They do everything they can to bring in a PG to avoid playing Ford. So they bring in Darren Collison and in the last two games play him in an almost even timeshare with Ford despite Collison averaging significantly better per minute stats. Let the circle (city) remain unbroken.

J.R. Smith – Continuing the theme of players with initialed boy-band names, Smith is averaging 20 minutes in his first three games. Afflalo is averaging 35. Jrue story.

Paul Millsap – 3o/16/6 on Sunday. 19/13/1 on Thursday. Boozer who? Whoozer?

James Harden – He made only one of his seven shots on Sunday, mostly caused by his three-jerk reaction.

Derrick Fisher – He’s scored in double-digits in the last two games. He only did that 26 times last season and didn’t score his second double-digit game until the 12th game of last season. Despite his start, I don’t think he scores more than nine points in 24 more games this season.

Lamar Odom – 16/13.7/3.3 in place of injured Andrew Bynum. I won’t lie, I love me some Odom. Sadly, unlike Khloe, I wasn’t smart enough to snatch him for myself in any drafts.

Stephen Curry – Curry’s wearing a boot on his injured foot and won’t take it off until Wednesday’s game (at the earliest). For what it’s worth, his boot was made for walkin’ and that’s just what it’ll do … until his ankle is strong enough to allow him to run.

Dorrell Wright – He’s getting about 36 minutes of burn and torching snitches with it, averaging 3.7 3pt/19/5.3/2/1 stl/1 blk. If he’s not in your lineup, it’s because someone beat you to the waiver wire.

David Lee – A Sunday bucket of yuck comin’: 19 min/.000/.000/0/3/2/0/0/5. You don’t really want an injury to be the explanation for this (which it wasn’t), but you also don’t want there to be no explanation for this.

Carlos Delfino – I’m pretty sure I owned a couch in college called the Delfino. It was part of a classy line of furniture that included cup holders right in the arm rest. Right in there! In honor of that classy line of furniture, I present you with the Delfino Line™: 37 mpg/4 3ptm/16.5/4.5/1.5/2 stl so far in three games. Delfino is the waiver pickup you get if Dorrell Wright is already got. Also, Maggette’s still getting a fair amount of minutes too. So like when a drunk enters a crowd, someone’s getting bumped. Who?

Drew Gooden – … Drew’s getting bumped. There are about 20 shades of blue in the average crayon box of 64. You have your normal blue and your midnight blue, your cerulean and your blue-green. But then Crayola started throwing in colors like green-blue and you started questioning if 64 crayons were even necessary. I mean, I’m gonna shade the characters in my Smurfs coloring book normal blue. And when I use that up, I’m going to want a new box of crayons. You go with the sharpest tools that fit into your overall plan. Right now, Gooden is the green-blue crayon and he’s giving everyone else the blues.

Baron Davis – Baron Von Davis is shooting .333 from the floor this season, which is worse than even the lowest estimates on him. Does that make him “Boom-Fizzle” or “Err-on Davis?”

DeAndre Jordan – Jordan played 9, 13 and 19 minutes in the first three games of the season, scored 4, 8 and 10 points in each outing and is outproducing Rasual Butler. In deep leagues, he’s worth a flier now. In shallower leagues he should be as closely monitored as Lohan in a vodka distillery.

Mike Conley – Scratched up Minnesota on Saturday for career highs in assists (11) and steals (7) while averaging 37 minutes over the first three games of the season. This all would be more impressive if every other point guard in the league wasn’t averaging 15 friggin’ dimes a game.

Kevin Love – He’s averaging 14/13 in 25 mpgs. Just 25 minutes. Not because of foul trouble. Not because of injury. Because of poor defense. Kevin Love’s team DRtg? Fifth-best on the team (99) and better than any of the players that served as his defensive replacement. Yeah, I can’t figure out why the Timberwolves are 0-3 1-2 either.

Ben Gordon – Breath easy Pistons fans. Gordon matched his 2009 mark for 32+ point games on Saturday with one. So that’s outta the way.

Hedo Turkoglu – Do you suppose Yahoo! users who drafted Turkoglu with the 75th pick and ESPN users using their 72nd pick expected him to average 9/3 while shooting 41 percent from the floor? ‘Cause I didn’t expect him to be this bad and I recommended not picking him anytime before No. 102.

Derrick Favors – He’s shooting 58 percent from the floor and averaging 10.3/10 in three games (including a double-double Sunday). He doesn’t really offer much more than average and boards, but then again, you never expected more from the Nets than to be average and make you bored.

Travis Outlaw – Outlaw played 21 minutes and missed the only five shots he took on the afternoon. In fact, if you removed Devin Harris and Brook Lopez from the Nets starting lineup, the three remaining starters shot 2-of-16 on the night. Though if you remove Lopez and Harris you have the Timberwolves.

LeBron James – Yes, it’s early. Yes, he’s still playing at an elite level, but at what point should we begin discussing his 92 ORtg (career average 114), 6.1 tpg, .448 FG%, his career-low 35 mpg, and annoyingly self-referential Nike commercial of which promotes neither Nike apparel nor the game of basketball? Not yet? Well, tell me when ’cause I’m really itching to discuss these things. How about next week? And don’t say ‘we’ll see.’ That always means ‘no.’