Every time I type C.J. Miles name, I want to type Watson. I almost type it. I get to the “t” and have to delete. This tells me that Miles just hasn’t made a name for himself yet. Hasn’t carved out his place. Last night, dude dropped a career-high 40 points against the T-Wolves riding in on the wings of six long bombs (also a season-high) and an unreal .778 from the field (also a season high – min. eight shot attempts). The problem here isn’t last night. No, last night was the best game of the sixth-year unreliable guard. The problem is that he’s been given this opportunity time after time and he rarely makes anything of it. He’s started in seven games this season, 28 a year ago and all 72 of his games the previous year and nothing. Defensively he’s subpar, offensively, he’s sub-par four out of every five games. Then he puts together a night like last night. It’s nice that Miles jacked 18 shots last night and made 14 of them. But he also .4071 from the floor in the last two weeks leading up to this game. in the previous week. And that’s more like the Miles that’s shown up most nights for Utah. We’re 5/6 of the way through the season, he’s getting 23-25 minutes a game and he’s doing nothing with it. He’s a big reason the team shipped Wes Matthews to Portland. He’s been given the keys, the mirrors are all adjusted, the speakers are pumping a sweet Beyonce/Sugar Ray mix cd, the engine’s revved and this kid can’t reach the pedal.

Here’s some more fantasy basketball in your face:

Zaza Pachulia – Zaza earns the first double-double of the season (19/10 in 33 minutes) and the Hawks lose by 15. Something stinks. Must be Patchouli-a.

Josh Smith – There should be a word for a fantasy stud that owners immediately want to trade away every time they watch him play. Smoove’s line was 13/9, with three blocks and 5-of-6 from the line, but I don’t think there’s a forward in this league that spends as much of his time walking up the court.

J.R. Smith – Let’s stay with the Smiths for a minute – Get out the black nail polish! – Not those Smiths. Oh. Junior is another fantasy player that owners hate owning when watching them play. Smith ended with 15 points and three treys. But all of that came during  fourth quarter hot streak. There wasn’t one owner who wasn’t thinking about all the other times Smith takes 10+ shots in a quarter and none of them go in.

Rodney Stuckey – Career-high 14 assists from the bench, almost as many as the entire starting lineup had (16). It’s never a bad thing when players on the same team engage in assisticuffs.

Richard Hamilton – Dropped 24 points, and four threes. You probably weren’t starting him today, but if you were, don’t start him Friday, as he’ll miss the game in order to attend a funeral. Stuckey, McGrady, Bynum are your spot-starts.

Greg Monroe – 21/10/5 against the Raps. He’s averaging .567 from the floor and 14.5/9/2.5 this month. Also, his bpg average has improved slightly in each of the last two months. Blake Griffin is averaging .446/17.5/10/3.5. Griffin will be gone in the first two rounds of next year’s draft, Monroe will be around in the eighth.

Blake Griffin – Speak of the devil … 3-for-12, 14/8. Hey there, Blake. Are you feelin’ okay, buddy? Do you need a hug or something?

DeMar DeRozan – I’m not completely enamored with DeRozan this year, but I can picture September Adam being enamored with him. September Adam is more romantic. Until September, it’s worth noting that DeRozan’s mpg have declined from 36.9 to 36.5 to 36, yet his ppg has gone from 18.5 to 18.9 to 20.1. He’s the Eric Gordon you can get 10 rounds after Eric Gordon.

Emeka Okafor – Big Mek earned his 19th double-double of the season (16/11, in 38 minutes), but only his first since January 19, or almost two months ago for simplists, or 57 days ago for exactists.

Steve Nash – Returned to dole out 10 assists, shoot uncharacteristically poor and turn the ball over four times. Sadly, it’s like he never left. If the Suns fall hopelessly out of the playoff race, it’s almost certain his minutes will be cut drastically.

Chuck Hayes – Season-high 17 rebas, season-high seven dimes along with nine points. Whoa, Kwame Brown, you got punked! Don’t shake your head no, you’re teammates are all ashamed for you.

Patrick Patterson – Earned his second double-double of the season (12/10/2). It was also the second consecutive game he’s started. Those two things are not connected, but it’s completely acceptable for you to have thought that.

Chris Bosh – He’s shooting .541 and averaging 23.3/10.5 since demanding that he gets it where big men get it. ‘Cause, you know, they get it down low … where it’s easy to throw it in. Get it?

John Salmons – 22/7/5 in 45 minutes. Way to make me look like an ass, John.

Andrew Bogut – He’s in a game, he’s out a game (he was out this game). Story of the season. Also the story of Milwaukee’s season? The Bucks are healthy, they lose by 20. The Bucks lose their best player and their backup centers combine for 16/11, with no blocks in a combined 61 minutes and give Orlando an overtime scare. This team is fun.

Kevin Love – Stepping outside of fantasy basketball for a second – just a second, chill out! – it’s pretty abhorrent that Ignorambis is subbing Kevin Love into 20-point blowouts with the express purpose of getting him a double-double. The streak is over, the game is over and if Love blows out his knee, Minnesota’s nine fans will never forgive the coach.

Dwight Howard – Has there ever been a more exemplary Howard line illustrating why a) he’s a top 20 fantasy option (31/22, 2 steals, 3 blocks) and b) he’s not a top 10 fantasy option (13-for-24 from the line, five turnovers)?

Luke Harangody – He’s scored 13+ points in two of the last four games; 6+ rebounds in his last two. He’s probably not someone you want to do anything more than monitor, but can we not all agree that even wanting to monitor him is slightly alarming.

Rajon Rondo – 0/0/8, with two steals. It’s like he’s testing to see how much steals and assists are worth to you.

Kevin Garnett – The summer before last season, Cagey was in Indy’s Conseco Fieldhouse shooting a commercial. During a break from filming, a representative from the Pacers approached Garnett and alerted him that the two rookies the team had just drafted a month previously were in the wings, excited to meet him. Garnett looks over at the two noobs, shakes his head, turns his back and yells, “Man, f**k your rookies!” He finished shooting his commercial and left. Skip ahead 20 months, where Garnett finished last night 10/4, having shot 3-for-7 from the field.

Tyler Hansbrough – Hansbrough (and A.J. Price) were the shunned rookies waiting in the wings. He ended with a 10/11 line and has averaged a similar line to Garnett (19.3/7.5 for Hansbrough, 14.5/7.8 for Garnett this month). Moral of the story. Never f**k rookies. Just ask the recipient of those Greg Oden dong pics.

Roy Hibbert – Shot 3-for-7. If hook shots didn’t count against a player’s FG%, Hibbs would be shooting somewhere in the neighborhood of .850 on the season. Christ, does anyone miss as many weakass hooks as Roy Hibbert? In the history of the game? Total!?! Answer me!

  1. Dominic says:

    I feel you on Dwight, I always lose FG% so I contemplate playing him every day… I even played Caveman and his 8/3/2 line over him yesterday… eek obviously a bad decision

  2. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Dominic: His FG% is almost always an asset, but those free throws … they sink your team even if onl averaged HALF of what he does.

  3. Migs says:

    I’ve missed more baby hooks against much weaker or smaller competition than I’d like to admit, but I’m about a foot shorter than Roy Hibbert so he wins..

  4. jleeishere says:

    how do yo u feel about jodie meeks or jordan crawford?

  5. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Migs: Does he win, Migs? Does he?

    @jleeishere: Neither have shown any consistency, but I’m more lenient on Crawford because he’s been on two different teams this year and not given much PT on either roster. And although I don’t think Crawford’s scoring two nights ago was a fluke, I don’t see him riding to the end of the season on a cloud of 20-point nights. His team was (is) banged up and he’s off opponents radars. As more teams pay attention to him, his inconsistent shot will hurt him. Remember his huge preseason performance? The kid can play, but he’s got a lot of growing to do. If you’re in a league deeper than 12 teams, I’d pick him up on the chance that he stays hot and ends hot. But I wouldn’t bank on it happening.

  6. Migs says:

    @Adam: Considering he makes about a couple hundred thousand times more in a minute of “work” than I do in an entire year of 9-5, then yeah, he wins 🙂 …. 🙁

  7. Larry says:

    Would you replace Bogut and Boozer with Ibaka and Monroe considering the latter’s play of late? Is Boozer the softest tough looking PF in the league?

  8. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Migs: Touche. Well played, Migs.

    @Larry: Probably Bogut, but not a healthy Boozer. Chinstrap beard or not, he’s an elite PF when he’s healthy. If you wanted to switch him out in the time Boozer remains out, that would work.

  9. alright for tonight choose four. Jameer, Serge, Nene, Tyson, Blowpez, dejuan, and tyler. right now im leaning with nene, tyson, serge, and blowpez. I’ve got deron at starting pg, not sure if i need to play jameer. I’m only down four assists but I’m up in every other category so i’m trying to build on those and put assists maybe

  10. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Jeremy: If you’re only down four assists, why punt? Especially if you have Deron and Jameer at your disposal?

  11. Chase says:

    How can you compare Demar Derozan to Eric Gordon? Demar Derozan does nothing but put up solid points…and a steal here and there.

    Gordon can throw down 4 threes in a night and you won’t be shocked by it

  12. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Chase: Agreed. But compare Gordon’s first two seasons with DeRozan’s and you’ll find more similarities than dissimilarities.

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