In terms of actual acquisition versus projected round/value, James Harden was one of the top three players in any draft I participted in. People were anxious to get a hold of the great bearded one. Why? Well, last night was a reason why. Harden put up 37 points, including 4 of 10 from downtown, plus 12 assists, 6 rebounds, 4 steals, and a block. LeBron James can retire, I think we just found the MVP (of week 1). If Harden continues to produce lines even close to this, I have a feeling anyone that covers real or fantasy basketball will write an entire book of commentary on this guy before the season is over.

Speaking of books, November marks the beginning of National Novel Writing Month, which genuinely has the worst acronym in modern history (NANOWRIMO). Just for fun, I once started to write a novel (not for this project) and sort of lost interest about three chapters in, and then the television show Hell on Wheels came out a few years later and I felt like I could never really get away with writing a story about a black cowboy and a white cowboy eating apple pie and shooting people that don’t like apple pie. Anyway, there were nine bloody games last night, so this post is going to be as long as a novella.
Before we begin, just a reminder that if you still want to join a league in the Razzball Commenter League, one is drafting Friday and still has a few slots open. Okay, let’s rock and roll:

Gerald Green – Lots of people have been asking me if they should drop so and so to pick up Gerald Green. Well, I say, as I sip a glass of scotch, Green played over 36 minutes and earned 6 points to match his 6 turnovers. You like rebounds? Assists? Well, he got 2 each. Now, does this mean he shouldn’t be rostered? Does this mean you slit his throat, kill his family, and erase his entire existence from the face of the earth? Well…

David West – The Pacers didn’t get much from Green but – GO WEST, YOUNG MAN – David West went 12 for 19 for 25 points. Not much else, but I’ll take 25 points.

Roy Hibbert – Almost a double double. Almost, but not quite. 14 points, 9 rebounds…oh, yeah, get this. Are you sitting? Maybe you should stand. No, sit. Five blocks. Suck on that, Serge Ibaka. Not really, that would be gross.

Paul George – I can’t quit Indiana. Not yet, not when John Ringo earned 14 points, 15 rebounds, and 5 assists. Here comes the stats, here comes the stats, and I say, it’s alright.

Kyle Lowry – He seems to be having trouble fitting in. He only scored 21 points, including 2 threes, plus 8 assists, 7 rebounds, and 5 steals. Trade him to me.

Jonas Valanciunas – Hey, all of us who drafted him have already been rewarded with a double double: 12 points, 10 rebounds (plus a block). Can I get an “Amen”? How about an “Allah be praised”?

Ty Lawson – The Nuggets kind of looked like the nuggets that dogs leave on lawns. Lawson had the best night for the team, with 16 points, 5 rebounds, 7 assists, and 2 steals. Three other starters on the team managed to equal the points and steals but not the assists.

Lavoy Allen – Starting in place of the injured Andrew Bynum (“I’m surprised he’s still injured…NOT” – Book of Expressions, 1992), he only played 16 and a half minutes for 3 points, 4 rebounds, and 1 block.

Jrue Holiday – Played over 41 minutes, only managed 14 points but also had 11 assists and 6 boards. It’s a good line, but when a guy plays 41 minutes, how about 20 points? Huh? Jruth.

Jeremy Lin – He kept his TOV to just 4 and gave 8 assists with 12 points. That’s nice, except for his teammate Harden.

Omer Asik – Lots of folks targeted Asik as a #2 or #3 center, hoping for lines like 12 points, 9 rebounds, and 2 blocks. The good news is, I didn’t just pull those numbers out of thin air. The bad news is, Omer Asik is standing right behind you.

Brandon Knight – It feels like the world had soured on Knight, so he lashed out with 15 points, 4 boards, 4 dimes, and a steal. At least, I hope he is producing to spite us.

Jason Maxiell – If you’re in need of a forward, Maxiell played 24 minutes with 10 points, 8 rebounds and 2 blocks.

Marcus Thornton – Came off the bench, played 31 minutes (more than 4 of the 5 starters), totalling 15 points with 4 rebounds and 2 assists.

Tyreke Evans – In nearly 40 minutes, he had 21 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists and a block. See, Jrue? Not so hard.

James Johnson – He went 1 for 8 for 2 points. He also had more turnovers (4) than rebounds (3). I’ve seen worse. For example, when Tyson Chandler hurt his ankle 30 seconds into a game, he had fewer stats.

DeMarcus Cousins – In your daily Cousins update, he scored 14 points, 7 boards, and 2 blocks. He also had 7 turnovers. Hmm. Hmmmm. HMMMMMMMM.

Luol Deng – In over 41 minutes, he had 12 rebounds to pair with 7 points. Maybe, just maybe, we can do more than 3 for 13 (including 0-4 from behind the arc) next time out.

Joakim Noah – He seemed like a bit of an after thought on draft day, but if he continues production like 23 points, 10 rebounds (5 offensive), 3 assists, 5 steals and 3 blocks, you will knock over your own (dead?) grandmother to grab him off waivers before someone else does (still only 95% owned in Yahoo!).

Kawhi Leonard – With 3 of 6 three pointers, he managed 19 points, 5 steals and 7 rebounds.

Tim Duncan – Old man Dunc’ scored 24 points (on 10-15 shooting) with 11 boards and 3 blocks.

Tony Parker – Old man Park’ scored 23 points (on 9-19 shooting) with 6 assists and 3 waffles.

Anthony Davis – He was in my top three of hot draft picks (as described above) and he delivered with 21 points, 7 rebounds, and a block. He also went 9-9 from the free throw line.

Austin Rivers – I fell out of love with him in the preseason, and he’ll have to do better than this to change my mind: 7 points, 1 rebound, 2 assists, 0-2 from downtown.

Greivis Vasquez – General Greivas showed why he is a great late round pick with 13 assists (and 8 points).

Shawn Marion – Terrible shooting (2-7) but also 11 rebounds and 4 assists.

Elton Brand – Terrible shooting (2-8) but also 7 rebounds and 2 blocks.

Darren Collison – With a pair of threes, managed 17 points and 7 assists. All that and he led his team in minutes.

Rodrigue Beaubois – Money Boo Boo only played 15 minutes but still had 8 points (with a three) and 2 steals.

Jae Crowder – What did he do? Didn’t hit his shots (3-11), but 2 of those were threes. Only 8 points, 3 rebounds, and zeroes thereafter. Hopefully he performs a little better or he’ll be the first guy off my team(s).

Paul Millsap – Double double baby! 13 points, 15 boards (8 offensive rebounds), and 3 assists.

Al Jefferson – Couldn’t keep up with Paul. Al only managed 12 points, 14 rebounds (5 offensive), and 2 assists. For shame, Al!

David Lee – He scored 5 points on 2-16 shooting. Huh? Oh. Wait, what? Ouch. At least he produced 9 rebounds, 3 assists and a rare block.

Harrison Barnes – Couldn’t reach 14 minutes, only earned 6 points, 3 rebounds, and 1 assist.

Klay Thompson – Had 16 points (doubling Andrew Bogut, the 2nd highest scoring starter), yet the Warriors still won. They had some help off the bench, including…

Carl Landry – Led his team with 17 points, plus had 6 rebounds.

Luis Scola – Remember him? He lives! 15 points, 11 boards, 3 steals, and 3 blocks make for a pretty night.

Marcin Gortat – What do you want from a center? Do 10 points, 9 rebounds and 5 blocks work for you? If not, there is no pleasing you.

Zach Randolph – Usually when a guy scores more rebounds than points, the points aren’t in double digits. Zach here scored 15 and had 16 (7 offensive) rebounds. Well, shee-it.

Marc Gasol – Randolph barely left any balls for Gasol, who had 7 rebounds and 20 points. Oh, yeah, he also had 5 assists.

Quincy Pondexter – He had 0 points, 3 assists, 2 steals, and the best name in the NBA.

Blake Griffin – He confused FGs with FTs and went 4-10 on shooting but 3-5 from the free throw line. In total, 11 points, 7 rebounds, 2 assists and a block.

DeAndre Jordan – 10 points, 5 boards, 1 assist, 2 steals and…and…uh…NINE TURNOVERS. NOOOOoooooo!!!…

Chris Paul – Interesting double double of 12 points and 12 assists, to accompany 4 steals.

Dwight Howard – I took a lot of poop for ranking him so high. Gee, maybe I was anticipating nights like this: 33 points, 14 rebounds, 4 assists and a block. How was his free throw shooting? 15 for 19. Beast mode does not adequately describe his performance. Will he always have nights like this? Probably not (especially since the night before he missed 11 of 14 free throws), but he’s a top center, no question. Ever.

Kobe Bryant – When you see Kobe have a line of 30 points, you sort of expect him to have gone 7-36, but he went 10-20 (including 4-9 from downtown). He threw in 6 rebounds and 3 dimes as well.

Steve Nash – The Sistine Chapel’s ceiling mural is now 500 years old, making it almost as old as Nash. He looked his age last night, only playing 16 minutes for 2 points, 4 assists and 1 steal before leaving the court after colliding with America’s Sweetheart Damian Lillard.

Damian Lillard – America’s Sweetheart scored 23 points to go along with 11 assists. He will have to manage those turnovers (6 on the night), but I’ll take it.

Nicolas Batum – With over 40 minutes, he scored 26 points with 6 rebounds, 3 steals and a block.

LaMarcus Aldridge – With 9-20 shooting, tallied 19 points with 3 rebounds and 2 blocks.

Meyers Leonard – Didn’t this guy co-found a Hollywood Studio in the 1920s? Anyway, he didn’t excite last night, only managing 4 points with 3 rebounds and 1 assist.


  1. d2bnz says:

    Chris….congrats on the post , lengthy ….yes but detailed and written in true Razzball style. In particular great Beatles reference ….John Ringo it is.
    The track here comes the sun is truly brilliant remastered
    Gotta be concerned about Steve Nash , still if the Lakers continue to pile up in the Loss column , Mike Brown could be first dumped at the curb . Been a long time since we saw a player/coach in the NBA.

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @d2bnz, I think the Lakers will get their shiznits together. I mean, they’re pretty stacked, it would be hard to believe they can’t win a few games. I guess the problem is distribution of points. When half your team can explode for 30 points every night, unless you’re scoring 220 points, someone is going to be left out.

  2. 2qbn says:

    We had our H2H draft earlier this week. I was able to land Dwight Howard with my 1st pick and Harden with my 2nd. I was able to snag Batum in the middle rounds. Needless to say the start of the season has me jacked! Love the site. Good stuff

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @2qbn, Yeah, you have to be pretty satisfied right now.

  3. ETMcgee says:

    i guess the laker/blazers game was probably too late for you (judging by the length of that game’s player recaps), but to mention someone like quincy pondexter and his line but not mention wes matthews/pau gasol/jj hickson’s lines isn’t great…

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @ETMcgee, I guess the 13 lines I gave to three Lakers players wasn’t long enough. Next time I’ll just talk about every single player’s stats so I don’t exclude anyone.

      • ETMcgee says:

        @ChrisV, i’m just saying that it is a better use of your time to mention players that might actually matter in fantasy leagues as opposed to using up 14 lines on guys like pondexter/meyers leonard/gerald green/lavoy allen/james johnson, who aren’t relevant except in the deepest of leagues.

        A few less mentions of non-relevant players, a few less lines trying to be clever (sorry, you are not your baseball counterparts), and more good information might be a better way to up your readership count…

        • Whitey says:

          I’d prefer to read about the deeper ‘non relevant’ players.

          • A Hill O' Beans says:

            @Whitey, Yeah me too

    • HighUpside says:

      @ETMcgee, I enjoyed it, you’re in the minority here I think. This isn’t a bank statement colorful commentary is a must.

  4. Police says:

    You do know Quincy’s last name is Pondexter right?

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @Police, I know nothing but fear.

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @Al-Farouq Aminu, anything is possible on that team. He has the starter’s job.

  5. HighUpside says:

    Nice job, the longer the better if you ask me! Spencer hawes had a filthy good line, your thoughts?

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @HighUpside, yeah, he did. The Sixers should give him minutes, but when Bynum returns it will create a somewhat problematic log jam of big guys. Really, Lavoy Allen should lose time out of anyone, but it’s the Sixers, so who knows?

  6. nightpandas says:

    Varejao over McGee? What would you bid for him (out of $100 FAAB bucks), 7 team league

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @nightpandas, I could see Varejao over McGee, but I wouldn’t make any decisions just out of one or two games. $100 is a lot of money, I would spend $7-10 on him, depending on how much you really want him.

  7. B.o.B says:

    Please assess my squad in a 10 team, H2H league:

    1. (4) Russell Westbrook (OKC – PG)
    2. (17) LaMarcus Aldridge (Por – PF,C)
    3. (24) Rudy Gay (Mem – SF,PF)
    4. (37) Marcin Gortat (Pho – C)
    5. (44) Monta Ellis (Mil – PG,SG)
    6. (57) Gerald Wallace (Bkn – SF,PF)
    7. (64) Wesley Matthews (Por – SG,SF)
    8. (77) Jeremy Lin (Hou – PG)
    9. (84) Kris Humphries (Bkn – PF)
    10. (97) Gordon Hayward (Uta – SG,SF)
    11. (104) J.R. Smith (NY – SG,SF)
    12. (117) Elton Brand (Dal – PF,C)
    13. (124) Rodney Stuckey (Det – PG,SG)
    14. (137) Jonas Valanciunas (Tor – C)
    15. (144) Trevor Ariza (Was – SG,SF)

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @B.o.B, Took Gortat a little early, huh? Not a bad squad. Keep on eye on guys like Smith and Stuckey to see how they perform.

  8. will says:

    Is it Yonas or Jonas? This changes everything.

  9. S-Quire says:

    John Ringo. Nicely done.

    So did I do the right thing keeping waiters, scola, Hayward over picking up el aminu?

    • ChrisV

      ChrisV says:

      @S-Quire, yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t sweat it over one game. Aminu has the starting job, but that team is a mess. Scola had 15/11, don’t forget.

Comments are closed.