Kevin Garnett intensified the normally routine preseason on Tuesday by earning a technical foul and then laughing about it. The refs mistook the smile for Cagey bearing his teeth and ejected him after the second technical. To be fair, he earned that first technical by calmly discussing a foul call, which the new NBA rule (a week away from becoming an old NBA rule), says you can no longer do. To be fair2 Garnett never “calmly discusses” anything anymore without getting on all fours and punching the court with his fists. As I said, the league is already considering going easy on a rule designed so the league would stop going easy, so this might be as useless as teaching math to monkeys in a week’s time, but these new rules could absolutely wreak havoc on passionate players. No air punching, no running to the opposite end of the court if you don’t like the call, no arguing, no assplay, no sticking your hands underneath your armpits and sniffing them, no Darko noogies, no snapping Mo Williams‘ headband unless he snaps yours first. Mass hysteria! The rule will likely get altered before October 26, but if you’re trying to decide between picking Dwight Howard and someone who didn’t lead the league in technical fouls last season, it’s yet another thing to keep in mind.

Here’s what else happened in the fantasy basketball world this week:

Hedo Turkoglu – Left Tuesday’s game with a bruised back. Preseason injuries are like slam dance night at the retirement village: everyone’s backs are going out.

Ron Artest – Tuesday was Ron Artest Day in Vegas. The mayor gave him the key to the city and everything. If five years ago you asked me to guess, between Tru Warrior and Gilbert Arenas, which one would enact numerous philanthropic efforts and which one would bring a gun to the locker room and lie about injuries, I’d have guessed wrong.

JaVale McGee – Look, no one has been pressing the top floor button of the JaVelevator more than I have, but maybe it’s time to temper that excitement. Flip Saunders wants more substance and less style from McGee. Meanwhile, Epic Vale has no idea what that means. It’s like when Mr. Burns insisted Don Mattingly shave off his sideburns. “I’m giving you substance, Flip. After I tomahawked that dunk, I curtsied! what more do you want!?!”

Marreese Speights – The Ace of Speights was carried to the locker room Wednesday after awkwardly landing on his knee. Doug Collins said it was a mild hamstring sprain, which is good news. Unless you’re Elton Brand, who must be wondering why he carried Speights into the locker room like a fairy tale princess, with Speights’ legs dangling over his arm. Now things are going to be weird in the locker room.

Michael Beasley – I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but Beasley is average 0.8 3pt/16 pts/1.5 stl/1.5 blk in his first four preseason games. Okay, maybe I wanted to freak you out a little.

DeMarcus Cousins – Paul Westphal said he imagines Boogie only averaging 24-25 minutes per game this season and that’s if he doesn’t foul out first. Ugh. He’s averaging 16.4 pts/9.6 rbd so far this preseason. Way to kick me in the junk, Paul.

Samuel Dalembert – Sammy D’s back did what the Haitian quake couldn’t: force him to miss 4-6 weeks. Did Westphal have something to do with this? Hasn’t someone told him how fun the Kings are supposed to be this season. Next thing you’re gonna tell me is Tyreke Evans sprained both his ankles or something.

Tyreke Evans – No! Why is Tyreke Evans’ name here? Did that sonuvabee actually sprain both of his ankles? Dammit! Is he going to be okay by Opening Day? He will? Good.

Omri Casspi – I’m pretty sure Westphal didn’t have any news that the fantasy community wanted to hear this week as Casspi will be coming off the bench in favor of Donte Greene, who is not very good at the game of basketball.

Eddy Curry – Not much of a fantasy angle here, but the Knicks hired this man to help Curry lose weight. Next, they’ll hire this guy to work on Curry’s soft touch.

  1. MVP Night says:

    Morning Adam,

    Thoughts on Blake Griffin? He seems to have recovered quite well and is fully up to speed based on his preseason play. How much would you value him in a 14 team $200 auction league?

  2. Adam

    Adam says:

    @MVP Night: Blake Superior ought to have a nice season, but I hate his projected FT% and AST numbers. You can get around one, not the other. Target somewhere between $17-21 for him.

  3. Tony says:

    @Adam: i’ve hit you up before, same 20 team league, prices seem to be outta whack, i’m thinking of offering my overpriced $43 paul pierce for a guys $10 J. Noah? Plus I throw in $5 of cash, this dude is -$10 so i am not sure. This league is wild, and i’m new to it

  4. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Tony: Yeah, if you can pull that off, don’t hesitate. Pierce at $43 is way overvalued.

  5. Will says:

    Hey guys, I need some trade help again. This is in a twelve team keeper league:

    I get: Robin Lopez, Anthony Randolph
    I give up: Channing Frye, Roy Hibbert

    I know it seems like I should accept this, but D’Antoni’s recent comments on Randolph is making me worry. It also seems like everyone really likes Hibbert this year and thinks he’ll take the next step. Thoughts?

  6. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Will: From Newsday on Thursday: “D’Antoni called [Randolph] a future ‘stat magnet,’ and then gushed. ‘He should go on the floor and have three blocks, five rebounds, get to the line three times, have two dunks and when he comes out he only played five minutes and you go, ‘Whoa, look at that!’ Then he goes to seven minutes and then to 10 minutes. He has to have so much energy that he’s changing the game.'”

    Having just quoted that, I think Hibbert will be better. He won’t go through the same lineup shuffling that Randolph will.

    Also, I’d prefer Frye on my team over Lopez (barely).

  7. Will says:

    @Adam: Thanks for the advice. That’s kind of what I was thinking. We only get to keep five players so I’m not really sure he would be a keeper anyways. But do you really think Channing Frye is going to give me anything besides threes? I already got enough threes on my team (Jrich, nash, brooks), so should I look to target a big guy like Okafor or Biedrins)

  8. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Will: Frye won’t improve any over last season. I’d be shocked if he knocks down another 170 treys. Targeting a big man to replace everything else Frye brings will be easy.

  9. Adam says:

    12 team h2h keeper league. Need to pick one more to keep. Standard cats plus TO.

    Right now I plan on keeping


    Choices for my last spot…

    Thanks in advance.

  10. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Adam: Gallinari

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