I watched two games last night. The first being the D.C.-Sacramento open gym scrimmage. The second being the L.A.-Cleveland Globetrotters fiasco. Last night, according to those two games, the NBA died. Too bad mi amigos. I mean, really, if you watched either of those games and thought, “Yeah. There’s nothing better I could be doing with my time” then I can also assume you a) live alone, b) already beat your ‘Halo’ videogames several times over, and c) probably listen to a shocking amount of Animal Collective. Anyway, Francisco Garcia’s DRtg went from 107 to 109 simply by letting Nick Young sink seven treys on his way to 43 points last night. This won’t happen every night for Young. This won’t likely happen more than twice more this season for Young.  It happened last night because an average defender wasn’t ready to play and neither team have any real plan when they hit the court. He’s a .440 career shooter who shot .636 last night. This could have just as easily turned into another Young 3-for-8 night in which he gets replaced by Kirk Hinrich for 30 minutes, instead of staying on the court for 45. If you managed to avoid getting benchslapped by Young last night, bully for you. With the exception of Saturday’s game against the Bobcats, he’s shooting and scoring at an exceptional rate, though D.C.’s last five games have come against the Hornets, Sixers, Nets, Cats, and Kings – not exactly a firebrand of talent. If you missed Young’s production last night, relax. It happens. Though it probably won’t happen again this season. As far as the Cavs go? It’s entirely likely that their’ bench will play almost as many minutes as their starters from here on out. So there’s that.

Here’s what else went down in the season’s messiest night of fantasy basketball:

Tyreke Evans – Missed last night’s game with a sprained ankle, but it seems he’s leaning about 60-40 toward playing tonight in Boston. I don’t know about you, but I’m having a blast this season playing Will Tyreke’s Ankle Snap In Half Tonight?

Francisco Garcia – 26/4/1 with 2 blocks. Luther Head entered the rotation in place of Tyreke, but, as the plaque in the main building of my community college reads, “You won’t benefit by using your head.” Perhaps I read that outside of Planned Parenthood. Who can remember. Either way, if Tyreke doesn’t play, skip a Head and deploy Garcia.

Carl Landry – Hot lately, averaging 15/5 in six games this month. The secret to Landry’s small resurgence? Threaten him with having to stay in Sacramento if he continues playing like crap and making himself untradable.

Pooh Jeter – 11 dimes. Okay. So, now we know how many assists Eugene Genie is capable of when he’s playing among high schoolers.

Josh Howard – He’s out for another week, maybe 10 days with a torn you-don’t-really-care-because-he-hasn’t-been-fantasy-relevant-since-2008. Anyway, six days from now I’m planning on dropping banana peels in his path just to see if I can keep this this hilarious daisy chain of injuries going through the spring!

Andray Blatche – 16/13/4 with four steals, all of which happened despite playing only 29 foul-plagued, shoulder-sprained minutes. The shoulder sprain doesn’t sound like a big deal. He’s had eight double-doubles this season, four of which have come in the last 11 games. If you don’t own him, he might still be just under the radar enough for you to get a deal. If you do own him, tell anyone trying to get a deal from you to go fudge themselves.

Andre Iguodala – Continuing with our Andre/ay theme, Iggy returned after missing the last seven games. You wish he’d stayed away as he went 1/4/7 on 0-for-7 shooting in 33 minutes. You should have been benching him before he got hurt, no reason to stop benching him now.

Andres Nocioni – He’s hurt, played less than three minutes and Iggy’s back. He’s an across-the-board dump, which is different than an overboard dump, which is what happens when someone is in your boat’s bathroom and you’re having a taco emergency.

Jodie Meeks – I can’t believe how much I’ve talked about Jodie Meeks this season. He usually goes in 3-6 games hot ‘n’ cold streaks. He’s about three games into a hot streak, so jump aboard before it’s all over. NOTE: 13/2/3 with three treys counts as part of a “Jodie Meeks Hot Streak” or “Meeks Streeks” if we’re in the marketing department of a kid’s television show.

Darren Collison – 21/13. First double-double of the season. He only shot .320 in the previous two games and distributed 10 assists over that span, so I’m not convinced the 2009 DarCo is back. It wouldn’t take more than two more solid games to convince me though. I’m a pushover.

Tyler Hansbrough – 12/9/2 in 25 minutes. He’s had one worse game than this and one better since entering the starting lineup. Last night’s production is a fair assessment of what you should expect from Insani-Ty.

Martell Webster – 18/5/0 with a steal and 2 treys as he took up a few minutes from the still-injured Beasley. If B-Easy misses any games (and it looks like he’ll miss a week or more), Wes Johnson, Webster and Anthony Tolliver are your pickups in that order.

Ty Lawson – 16/6/5. Played almost as many minutes as Chauncey Billups (7/0/7) and did more with them. Damn this trade. I haven’t been this agonized waiting for a big change to happen since my pre-pubescent health class.

Arron Afflalo – 31 points on 11-for-14 shooting. Does that sound like a pace he’s likely to maintain?

Kenyon Martin – Returned. 6/2/4 with a block in 20 minutes. Blah. Give him time.

Josh Childress – Started in place of the injured Grant Hill and ended with 5/5/2 in 26 minutes. That ain’t gonna do it.

Ronny Turiaf – Pepper Ronny played 38 minutes and played arguably the best game of his career: 19 pts/10 rbd/3 ast/3 stl/2 blk/1 tov. Considering I just said it was arguably his best game ever, this would suggest it’s on the outlying side of the median. Meaning, don’t pick him up expecting him to suddenly start doing this every day.

Marcus Camby – If you ain’t cookin’ (1 point on 0-for-6 shooting), you oughta clean (16 rebounds, 6 blocks and a steal).

Manny Harris – Exploded for 8/6 in 41 minutes!

Alonzo Gee – 12/8 with three steals and a block. At some point, Gee should have realized that he was leading his team in several stat categories and decided it would be fun to find the luxury box Dan Gilbert was sitting in and give him a determined thumbs up whenever he did pretty much anything during the game. Kapow! I gotcha, D.G. A.Gee won’t let you down! Kapow!

  1. “Meeks Streeks” sounds like something Jodie’s mom finds in his underwear. And if he wants to stay fantasy relevant, he should change his name to Tyjodie.

    If Afflalo gives me .500 shooting and 15 points a night from here on out, I will be more than satisfied (just so long as he also throws in some rebounds, assists, etc.). I guess I’m just demanding.

  2. Adam

    Adam says:

    @ChrisV82: Hehe. Would you settle for “Tydie Meeks” instead? Bring a little ABA flavor back to the League.

  3. Migs says:

    So Rotowire just published this about Troy Murphy:

    Wed, Jan 12
    Murphy will not accompany the Nets on their current four-game road trip, USA Today reports.

    Recommendation: Murphy isn’t injured, which means a trade is likely imminent. This is unfortunate for patient Murphy owners, though, who are using (read: wasting) a roster spot on him while he waits for potential suitors.

    “Likely imminent”? Adam, what’s your take on it? I stashed Troy Murphy when I heard about the Detroit thing… could it be possible that NJ will go ahead and deal with Detroit separately and just hope that the Nuggets will be forced to deal Melo to them eventually?

  4. brad says:

    @Migs: Pretty sure they wouldn’t deal separately, they need Detroit’s cap space in order to make the Denver deal work.

  5. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Migs: Brad’s almost certainly correct. Basically, it looked as if the three-way deal was hours away Sunday night. By Monday, it looked maybe a week away. And now it looks like Jersey’s grasping at straws.

    It wasn’t a bad idea to stash Murphy, but this deal (or SOME deal) is as likely to happen in three weeks as it is to happen today.

  6. Migs says:

    @Adam: Hmmm… I just got back from vacation and haven’t actually had time to look at the details of the deal, but is there another team that can help facilitate the Melo trade while also allowing for the NJ-Detroit trade to go through?

    Otherwise, could it be that NJ figures they just can’t get Melo, and even if they do, he won’t sign an extension with them anyway, so they might as well forge ahead and deal Murphy away?

    I honestly cannot wait to see what a new CBA brings, and if it’ll solve all this BS where superstars are not just demanding trades, but are able to specify their destinations as well.

  7. Bryan says:

    Just made this deal in my 12 man ROTO league, and wanted to see what your thoughts are…
    I traded John Wall and Al Horford for Monta Ellis and David West.

    My gut feeling was to sell Horford while is value is very good, as I feel his numbers might start coming down a bit (he’s still a stud but I have Josh Smith too, and Id rather keep JSmooth than Horford. Wall has been nice lately but injury risk and he hurts me in some aspects (better real life player than fantasy player IMO) and I have nash and rondo already so assists are not of value with him.

    But the big reason for making deal, was I had no SG on roster, so I needed a stud like Ellis who will contribute in just about all categories…West is somewhat an underrated fantasy player and he does what Horford does minus a few boards and %’s.

    Do you think this deal made team better?

  8. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Bryan: I don’t think Horford’s value will decrease this year (why would it?), nor do I feel we’ve seen the best John Wall this season. Having said that, it sounds like Ellis was the most necessary piece of the four for your team. As SGs go, you won’t do much better than him (who were you slotting at SG before Ellis?). And if it took the minor downgrade of Horford to West, I imagine the deal HAD to have made you better.

  9. Fletch says:

    Adam: Would you deal Wes Matthews straight up for either Turkoglu or Rashard Lewis?

  10. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Fletch: Eesh, that’s a close one. If I swapped either, I’d swap for Lewis. It depends on what stats you’re hoping to maintain/improve on.

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